Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Two Scenes Of Gundown Execution

Most of my movies are best enjoyed after drinking at least a 6 pack of beer. No matter how hard I work to make the script clever and interesting and explore interesting characters involved in making critical decisions that will haunt them forever... they end up being turned into knuckle headed action films that often don’t make any sense. This is my favorite review from a movie that may have began with my screenplay and turned into... Well, this review from some fan site explains everything:

I watched this movie last night and it is really disappointing. First i didnot understand the fact that even Seagal played in high budget movies and in this one he is at position of screenplay director there are two scenes of gundown execution, really bad performed, where shooter is firing at least one meter right or left from victim, pointless. I mean everybody have or should have paintball and other technology for filming these scenes so its no need for this. Despite all brilliant acting and fighting of main actor this is a really cheap movie. The time is set in present but they used sr-71 Blackbird spy plane shots from 1st gulf war and you can see in background airports cars from those days. Then big mistake is when admiral orders attack from the air and 4 light blue (navy) f-15s bombers take off from aircraft carrier and few minutes later they appear like 4 f-16s in yellow colour. That is also very bad cause they are not even similar cause f-16s have 1 tail (backwing) and f-15s or f-14s two. In those scenes all planes are from archive footages and videos like in old Chuck Norris movies. But in that time that was new for audience. Anyway f-16s do not ever take off from carriers cause they are not navy planes and they are to heavy.

This whole movie is a remake of Black Thunder (1998) and in one scene when the plane that is all about is become invisible even from human eye it is like they are stole that scene from remake because it is not completely unseen its like a camouflage (like in Predator) almost unseen and its look like there is no shape of f-117, but more alike f-1 bmirage (French fighter jet). And also at the end battle the pilot of f-16 chasing Seagal in f117 is saying the exact word from original movie (I do not need to see you cause i know where you are) Next, in scene when f-16 is chasing a new project prototype there are several shots of several different planes in scene. In first there is a blue f-16, in second it has a green colour but only two sidewinder rockets on the ends of wings, and in the third scene there is a grey plane with much more projectiles and fuel tanks under the hull. And at last, the scene when three US commandos armed with small machineguns and i think that third one had two pistols shooting WITHOUT any grounds cover almost wiped-out 3 times more terrorists who are surrounding them from all directions with AKs with wall pillars covers, which is even in theory impossible. Even the terrorists were kids, they sholdnot have so many dead among them, no, not on that range. Also lesbian scene between US girl (Ciera Payton) (good acting in first time in movie, in face she looks like a pornstar, i am not kidding) and terrorist girl is GREAT with Seagal (John) in "like to watch" business.


There you go folks! Doesn’t that make you want to put it your NetFlix cue just to help you understand what the heck the guy was talking about?

Don’t.

- Bill

4 comments:

Racicot said...

Ouch. My face hurts from trying to read his review.

Cool to read that f-16's are too heavy for carriers, though.

Adrian said...

That sound like the best film ever made. Oscar bait surely?

Richard J. McKenzie said...

I googled 'Two Scenes of Gundown Execution'. Second from top was 'The Film Fiend' with this grammar-challenged review and the name of this cinematic regurgitation.

I was all set to rent 'Flight of Fury' in order to watch the female spies...uh...investigate each other, if you know what I mean and I think that you do, nudge, nudge.

But then I read the ironically named 'Fun Stuff' about the movie on imdb (it can't be fun for Bill), and so in solidarity with Bill I refuse to give these charlatans and thieves any of my money.

So let it be written, so let it be done.

Grant said...

It's actually on Encore On Demand right now, so you can see it for free. I think I've mentioned before that I have a Seagal problem that I'm trying to deal with. Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

SPOLIERS - At the end when he's trying to get away from the evil pilot, I was screaming at the TV.

YOU'VE GOT ACTIVE STEALTH! JUST PRESS THE DAMN BUTTON! YOU DON'T NEED TO DODGE MISSILES! YOU'VE GOT A KLINGON CLOAKING DEVICE, DAMMIT! YOU DON'T NEED TO HIDE IN THE CLOUDS, YOU'VE GOT A KLINGON CLOAKING DEVICE! WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO OUT FLY HIM? JUST HIT THE BUTTON!

OR AT LEAST BUT A BLINKING "CHARGING" BUTTON ON THE HUD, SO WE CAN HAVE THE DOGFIGHT!

Luckily he activated the cloak before I smashed the new hdtv.

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