Here is the trailer for the short film (I'm the pizza guy):
But in the finished film, I am nowhere to be found. I got cut. The film showed at the Beverly Hills Short Festival a few weeks ago, and I showed up for the screening... and Danny (the writer-director) wondered why I was there - and apologized for about the 100th time for cutting me out of the film.
Now, I don’t know the reason why he cut me out of the film - maybe my performance sucked? But, my guess is that I was cut for time. When I first read the script, I thought - heck, I’m the punchline! The movie is a fake DVD extra for what has to be the worst film ever made - even though none of the people involved seem to know this - and the humor comes from the “stars” and creative team going on-and-on in interviews about how brilliant the film is, intercut with scenes of the really really bad movie. My character was *not* a member of the cast and crew... well, maybe the crew - I was a pizza delivery guy who delivered food to the set. So I was the easy cut for time... the difficult cut? One of the lead actors had this amazing speech that was silly on the page, and he made a million times sillier. This was one of the scenes from the bad film, and he did some amazing bad acting. It’s not easy to act that bad. On set, it was difficult not to laugh while he was doing the scene. It was hysterical... That scene was trimmed to the nubs. That was a huge loss.
My character could easily be cut for time, was kind of a silly character in the real life section of the film, and I think was also the only character who was in behind the scenes footage from the “past”... I was the easy and logical cut.
And, you know, compared to that actor who had us all trying not to laugh on set, my performance probably wasn’t all that hot.
I would have cut myself for time.
Frequently on message boards someone posts that they have a 137 page script and wonder why the evil powers that be don’t want scripts that long... and they have no idea how they can cut their masterpiece down to 110 pages. Well, the answer is, you have to cut it down. A screenplay is a *precision* document - and the reason why they want that 110 page script is because, using that ballpark page-per-minute guide, they need a film that can play every 2 hours with enough time in between showings to sweep out the popcorn and pry any shoes stuck to the floor with sticky soft drink residue. There’s a reason for it - and that means you need to cut your script.
You need to make tough decisions and creative decisions. You need to make sure everything in your script moves the story forward, is entertaining, and exposes character. If a character can be cut - cut it! If a scene can be cut - cut it! If a line of dialogue can be cut - cut it! It’s easy to become so attached to a line or character or scene that you can’t imagine cutting it - guess what? You still need to cut it!
I have had conversations with writers who have been told by a dozen people that a scene or character didn’t work - but they were fighting to keep it. Everyone they give their script to tells them that it’s too wordy... but they don’t want to trim it down. Everyone tells them some character serves no story purpose... but they refuse to cut that character. Everyone tells them something doesn’t work... but they don’t want to fix it. They were arguing to keep it. It’s like they were looking a second opinion that would agree with them. So they keep giving it to people... and they all say the same thing - the script needs work. They don’t want to make the changes, they would rather argue... and search for that one person in the world that agrees with them. That doesn’t solve the problem - they need to make the cuts, however painful those cuts may be.
If one person tells you something doesn’t work, that might just be that person’s opinion. But if everyone is saying the same thing, you need to take a look at that.
Also, there’s this great line from THE WILD BUNCH that says it’s not whether you give your word, it’s who you give it to... so not all feedback is equal. If your mom loves your script and someone in the business has problems with it, you might give more credence to the person in the business, no matter how much you love your mom.
It’s not about what works for you - it’s about what works for the script. Sometimes we hang on to some scene because we love that scene or maybe we’re just stubborn. But once we have written FADE OUT and let the script sit for a while and we’re going back to do the next draft, it’s time to look at the script *objectively* and make the hard choices that make it a better screenplay.
The first draft of my VOLATILE script had 8 tasks and several scenes with some funny interactions with other people... but the script was missing something, and I tore it apart and re-assembled it... and cut out 2 tasks (including my favorite) and all of the funny stuff that didn’t advance the story. Scenes I loved - gone. Some characters - gone. But the screenplay - a hundred times better - sleek, to the point. But if a bunch of people tell me the same thing is a problem with the current draft? I’m gonna fix it.
Would you rather have your script exactly the way you first wrote it, or the very best version of your story?
CHILDREN OF SCUM is playing at Mockfest in Hollywood on Saturday May 17th at 5 pm.
- Bill
TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: Conflict and character
Yesterday’s Dinner: Sesame Chicken at City Wok in Studio City.
Movies: IRON MAN - best superhero movie I've seen since the first SPIDER-MAN. Great match of actor to role with Robert Downey jr's bad-boy image perfectly fitting the spoiled party boy Tony Stark. Film has to great emotional scenes right up front - including a romantic open heart surgery scene! This turns a "kid's film" into a "adult film". Stay until the end of the film or you'll miss Samuel L. Jackson's cameo!
Pages: Friday - 5 pages on a screenplay. Saturday - 8.5 pages on a screenplay. Sunday - 20 query letters and a pile of e-mails to producers.
