Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Valentines Gifts For Him!



- Bill
IMPORTANT UPDATE:

TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: Character in conflict - GONE BABY GONE..
Yesterday’s Dinner: Chicken Burrito at Cheesecake Factory.

MOVIES: I've seen both RAMBO and IN BRUGES, and will report on them in the next couple of days.

DVDS: I watched EXTERMINATOR CITY - a train wreck of a film that combines puppet robots and GIRLS GONE WILD. You know how some films require that you consume a 12 pack in order to enjoy them (I've written many of these)? This film requires you to drop acid *and* do mushrooms to fully understand the story. The robot puppets are kind of MST-3000 style - and the only thing that moves is their mouths. The bodies don't move, the camera doesn't move. I got the feeling the whole film was made by one guy with a tri-pod. He would set up the camera, then operate the robot puppet. There are no "two shots" of robots - that would require an extra person. So we get close up of Cop Robot intercut with close up of Psychiatrist Robot. Never both in the same shot. Never any two characters in the same shot. No long shots or wide shots at all.

The "story" has a robot serial killer attacking big breasted women just as they begin playing with their upper torso bundles of pleasure for no reason. But the robot serial killer is never in the same shot as the babes - and they aren't even on the same tape stock - the robots are crisp, the babes are fuzzy grainy - maybe shot on the director's mom's camcorder. There is *never* a shot of the robots *and* the babes. Even the killing scenes have no interaction.

The robot serial killer was an exterminator - and kills all kinds of big plastic toy bugs. Oh, and mounted animal heads on his walls often talk to him. He's crazy... It doesn't make much sense, but it's just so weird you keep watching to see if it ever makes sense. No - it gets *weirder*. The Robot Cop begins to develop the traits of the Robot Serial Killer! And those plastic toy bugs show up all over the place. It's like NAKED LUNCH made by a really horny 13 year old boy obsessed by robots!

Because there are never any shots where the robots *move* or enter a room, there are these crazy shots used to connect scenes - a really bad miniature building with a toy space ship on a wire zipping past really fast. I think he made it really fast so that we wouldn't be able to tell it was some toystore model, but it ends up so fast that we aren't sure *what* it is. This is Ed Wood film making at its finest. "Perfect!"

The only humans in this film are the topless babes... puppet robots play every other role.

I found out about this movie on a message board where people were discussing the weirdest movie they have ever seen. This was the "winner". I'll tell you, it's hard to imagine any film that is weirder now that I've seen it... but, you should *not* see it. EXTERMINATOR CITY is like a giant zit on someone's face - not pretty to look at, but can you really *not* look at it?

PAGES: Zip - For the past week I've had trouble sleeping. No idea why. I took some Exced PM, and fell alseep at like 5am. Woke up feeling like crap. I'm thinking of taking a long walk to exhaust mystelf, since I've had zip exercise for a while (and I suspect that's why I'm not sleeping well). I've always been kind of a night owl, but this is just getting silly. It's one thing to fall asleep at 2am, another to fall asleep at 5am. Oh, I *did* write articles for Script and Movie Scope magazines over the weekend. I guess it's true - I can write that stuff in my sleep.

PS: Votes in, strike's over. I wonder if anyone even remembers any of the projects we were talking about before the strike? I'll bet not. So - time to get off my butt and get some scripts out there...

- Bill

2 comments:

Gareth Michael Turpie said...

Hi Bill!

Do you know what a Me - Me is?

It's like a tag and there's one going round the UK scribosphere...

On Film books

So, as a fan, I'd like to me-me you!

Details at http://sheikspear.blogspot.com/

Richard McNally said...

You mentioned the film SCARECROW in today's Script Secret and it was strange to think back on a film I had totally forgotten I had seen. According to Halliwell's Film Guide, Stanley Kaufmann said: "Here's a picture that manages to abuse two American myths at once--the Road [movie] and the Male Pair [by which he meant to say the Buddy Movie]." And your description of Exterminator City was a hoot. Amazing the stuff that gets put on celluloid.

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