Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Bad Ideas... or Blockbuster?

Over on Alligators In A Helicopter, Scott did a post about a vivid dream he had where he had written a script called CHIMP OR CHAMP. No story, just the title. He woke up in a cold sweat screaming.

I thought CHIMP OR CHAMP sounded funny, and posted this pitch... but (unlike me) he posts every danged day and my reply is buried. So I'm ressurecting it here.


It's about this down and out chimp - he could have been somebody, but he's a chimp. We'll give him a love intrest - Jessica Alba - and a rival... Clint Eastwood. They used to be partners, but when Eastwood became a street boxing sensation, he dumped his hairy friends.

Now, the cool part about Clint is that we can use old footage from those monkey movies as flashbacks - the way they did with Terrance Stamp. Yeah, yeah, the Stamp movie floppoed, but it had a great idea.

Okay, now Oscar De la Hoya or Mayweather (whoever wins tonight) decides to challenge someone from the street - but not just anyone: they want to be assured of the World Champion Title, and because that monkey in Vienna (Haisl) is in court to prove he's a person, the champ is afraid his title may be invalid if he doesn't include primates.

So, our Chimp ends up selected to fight him... and, now wait for it, he has to reconnect with an older Eastwood who now owns a boxing gym and beg for help training.

Eastwood wants him out, but his pal Morgan Freeman secretly trains the chimp. When Clint discovers this, he and Freeman get into a death match fight in a steel cage! Clint wins, killing Freeman, and goes on to train the chimp to become a champion-level boxer.

But can he go 10 rounds with the champ? They go to the big fight on Klan's Island. The chimp takes a beating, but stays on his feet. He doesn't win, but he stays on his feet. And at the end... Jessica Alba comes running into the ring to kiss him and confess that she loves him!

It'll make millions!

- Bill


Emily Blake said...

That movie sounds awesome. Make sure it has monkey flatulence.

I'll see anything with a monkey who does things that people usually do. Monkeys are funny because they act like really dumb people.

wcdixon said...

Another 'Martell' home run...

Laura Deerfield said...

Ouch. My brain hurts.

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