Act 2 Conflict: Santa Fe Adventure 3

Josh Olson (Oscar nominee for A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE) bumps into me in the hallway on the way to the restaurant as does Ian Abrams (writer creator of EARLY EDITION TV show) and we share a table. I know Josh from the old days of the Wordplay website, when it was a magnet for professional screenwriters and serious “pre-pros”. Many of those folks had come over from the AOL Follywood Message Boards that Ted & Terry ran, and I *almost* ran (I turned down free AOL because it sounded like a lot of work, and T&T took the job). Online Josh has a very strong personality and will fight you to the death. Online we have tangled before... but in real life he’s a nice guy. Ian Abrams I met at my first Santa Fe Conference - he’s a pro screenwriter who got tired of the Hollywood bullshit and now teaches film at Drexel University. He’s a big guy, but it looks like he’s lost some weight.

The three of us have lunch - because the conference has taken over the hotel, there is a special conference lunch menu - 3 items and the salad bar. That’s it. That first day, none of the 3 items appealed to me. I ended up ordering a veggie burger - and requested it medium rare... which confused the waiter.

We talked about the event. Josh had never done one of these before, and was surprised that his Academy Class students - who were supposed to be the cream of the crop - were, um, not all cream. One of those things you run into when you teach at these events are those students who say they want advanced classes and don’t want to hear any information that might be considered basics... but their pages are filled with basic mistakes! They have heard these lesson before, but they have not *learned them*. This is often my frustration when teaching - there are people who believe they are much better than they actually are - and *reject* the information that will help them. I don’t know what to do with these folks - because I can’t teach them anything.

I’ve probably said this before - the big problem with so many films ends up being basic screenwriting stuff. Those are the lessons that most need to be learned... even by pros!

When Larry called Josh about doing a class, Josh thought a friend of his had said that Santa Fe was a great event - a non-stop party that’s all panels and drinking and BBQs. But this didn’t seem to be that at all. At lunch he called his friend to ask WTF they were thinking - this isn’t a non-stop party. His friend said - “No, that’s *Austin*”. So, Josh was stuck teaching a class with some students who may not be as talented as they thought they were.

Larry grabs me as I’m leaving the restaurant. One of my students has complained that I am not going to actually tear apart their pages in class. I explain my class plan to Larry, and Larry says this student was really unhappy. Just then, one of my students walks past and I grab her and ask how my class is going so far...

Of all of the students in my class, guess which one I grabbed?

I have the worst luck of anyone I know. If a bird craps over a crowd, the poop lands on me. Nobody else.

So I end up having a conversation with the complaining student, and explain my class plan to her - but she tells me she *wants* her script torn apart in front of the class. I explain that I’m a little uncomfortable ripping apart people’s work in public, but maybe there’s a way to make it work. I can tear apart the scripts without mentioning the writer’s names. Would that be okay with her? She says yes, I apologize... and then she asks if she can send a revised 10 pages based on some of the things she learned in class today. Sure, why not? I plan on turning in early tonight. I find Larry and tell his the problem is solved...

But I wonder if it is. Was her script the other good one? Or one of the bad ones? The other good one is a female lead comedy - and the lead character has some similarities to the lead (age/race/etc). I am hoping that the other good script is her’s, so that I can tear it apart without any more problems. The other thing that is frustrating is when people ask you for your honest opinion... but really want you to say, “It’s brilliant! A work of genius!” You will sell this for as million dollars and win all of the Oscars!” Trust me that you will never hear me say this. I would rather tell you the no BS truth (even if you don’t like it) than tell you that screenwriting is easy and have you not be prepared for just how danged close to impossible that it really is.

Which brings us to...

THE MENTOR PANEL

All of the teachers on one panel answering questions. In those early years there may have been 20 teachers on stage, this year - fewer... but no less impressive. Kirk Ellis - who won an Emmy for writing JOHN ADAMS, and Josh Olson who was Oscar nominated for writing A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE, and Terry Borst who specializes in new media & video games like WING COMMANDER, and Ian Abrams writer/creator of EARLY EDITION who also wrote a movie called UNDERCOVER BLUES, and cute Wendell Thomas who teaches at UCLA and has some credits, and me with 19 films that the United Nations and Amnesty International have deemed as torture, and... the squat woman on my flight who snagged the bulkhead seat and is a Script Consultant with a new book.

There are tall director’s chairs set up on the stage for us, but Ian thinks they look uncomfortable and convinces the rest of us to swap them out for regular chairs. Not a problem... though I kind of wanted to see the Script Consultant try to fit in one.

Darren Foster - who is a pro writer with a new movie in post production - is moderating, and allows each of us to introduce ourselves. Then he begins asking some questions about what we think are the most important elements in screenwriting. Kirk is on the far end and arrives during the opening announcements and asks if he can go last... so Ian on the other side goes first. Josh and I are in the center. As the questions continue, it becomes apparent that 5 of us are answering honestly - and telling it like it is... and one of us is talking about how talent should be nurtured and hugged and new writers should find someone who loves them and their work and is non-judgmental and non-commercial to help them with their quest to sell a screenplay. Can you guess who that might be?

Wendell and I are diplomatically disagreeing with her. Josh and Kirk and Ian are becoming more aggressive in their disagreements with her. I am sitting between her and Josh and fear that I will be killed in the cross-fire. Finally, she says something really wrong and all five of us strongly disagree with her - we are fighting over microphones.

I do not think Script Consultants are evil - that would be some sort of crazy generalization. There are probably some great script consultants out there who are worth every penny of the $2,500 they charge to read your screenplay. But often Script Consultants generalize about things... and then turn those things into rules... and sometimes those rules are just wrong. On a message board recently someone had a problem dealing with the "rule" that characters must either be called MAN or WOMAN until someone calls them by name. This person had pages and pages of MAN and WOMAN and they were all different people. How can we tell them apart? Well, that's one of those strange Script Consultant "rules" which aren't actually part of real world screenwriting. I'm sure the purpose of the "rule" is to make sure writers get their character's names into dialogue so that the audience knows who they are, but this is the wrong way to do that! Instead, why not just say - hey, make sure you have someone mention your character's name! Instead we have all of this confusion. And, um, what about REBECCA, where the lead character's name is *never* spoken? Are they WOMAN throughout the script? This is a silly "rule" that doesn't work at all, yet some Script Consultant is charging a pile of money to give people this advice.

So they often spread bad information... or, if they have only been readers - know what *not* to do but may not know what *to* do. And some are failed screenwriters who may pass on the reason for their failure to new writers. Plus, I think the more they charge, the more you wonder if you are getting what you are paying for. If a professional screenwriter was giving me their opinion on my script I might think $2,500 was fair, but someone who may have been a $50 a script reader who is now charging $2,450 more to read a script worries me a little. And this particular consultant is saying that all of the working professionals on the panel (including an Oscar Nominee and a multiple Emmy Award winner) are wrong and she is right. Um, I don't have the cajones to disagree with those two guys and I also write for a living. If both Josh and Kirk said they did the Macarena between scenes, I'd try doing that to see if it improved the quality of my writing. But this Script Consultant is disagreeing with the 5 pros on the panel... and we are disagreeing back.

Darren the moderator changes the topic and starts taking questions from the audience - but he waited until we all got out hits in. Obvious where he stood on the issue. The audience questions end up the usual variations on “How do I get and agent?” with a couple of craft questions after Darren asks for *only* craft questions.

What is interesting about having the same question answered by 5 professional writers is that we often disagree. Not on big things, but on small ones. Questions on outlining - some do, some don’t... but the ones who don’t do a lot more rewriting and *everyone* knew the end of their screenplay. None of us agreed on the same element as being most important in a screenplay, some thought it was dialogue, another character, another actions, another situations... we all see the same act a little differently - but none of us thought any of the others was wrong...

Well, except I don’t think any of us thought the Consultant was right. But, we don’t get $2,500 for our opinion, so we are probably wrong.

After the panel I zip off to do my Consults - 3 of them - and it is relatively painless. Major problem among students 10 pages and consult folks 10 pages is starting waaaay too early - we don’t need to see someone’s boring every day life. But the writing seemed okay on all three and one of them had the exact script an Oscar winning producer I met with a few years ago was looking for. I have no idea if they are *still* looking for a script like that, but I gave the writer the producer’s name. Would be cool if she sold the script.

After consults, I splashed cold water on my face to wake myself up and then found the Dallas group in the lobby discussing dinner. The locals had just split with their cars, but there’s a hotel shuttle that goes downtown every hour... but stops running early. Maura asked if the shuttle could take us into town and then if we could call later and be picked up. The driver would be gone, but there’s a maintenance man who could do it.

Mexican food at the Blue Corn Café... though most people ordered a burger and Steve and my orders got mixed up - and we accidentally ate a quarter of each other’s meals before we figured it out. Oh, and the guy at the table next to us had a heart attack - a sign of great Mexican food - and a team of paramedics were working on him while we ate. He was fine... but this single gal in our group who was hitting on the shuttle driver and the bus boy started hitting on the paramedics. Oh, and I had some Pomegranate Margaritas to ward off any cardiovascular problems.

Then we went back to the hotel bar and told dirty jokes until closing time. Back in my room - new pages from several students plus a redesign of the class for the following day followed by 4 hours of sleep, waking up before the alarm went off again.

Monday - does the last minute class redesign work?

- Bill
IMPORTANT UPDATE:
TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: Personal Keys To Unlock Your Screenplay - and my BLACK THUNDER script that was made into a film... twice.
Dinner: Cinema hot dog and popcorn.
Bicycle: Yes. Semi-epic. Had a meeting in Beverly Hills on a project and decided to subway and bike... then bike to the New Beverly Cinema to see some movies. The meeting ran over and I misjudged the distance between the office and the cinema and had to haul butt - riding really fast - to get there on time. Which is why I had a hot dog instead of Chinese food across the street from the cinema.
Movies: PRISON with Renny Harlin, Courtney Joyner, Irwin Yablans and Charlie Band doing Q&A... and THE HORROR SHOW (aka HOUSE 3). Renny Harlin was great - very funny, very honest, very down to earth. This guy directed DIE HARD 2 and CLIFFHANGER and other big films, but talked to people in the lobby.

Lancelot Link Thursday

Lancelot Link Thursday! For those of you who think Cheeta was *Tarzan's* sidekick, here are some articles about screenwriting and the biz that may be of interest to you. Brought to you by that suave and sophisticated secret agent...



1) Perfectly Timed Photos - a picture is worth a thousand words... and these pictures are weird.

2) Word Clouds.

3) Guess who is writing the new BOURNE movie?

4) Part 4 of the lost interview with Hitchcock...



Suspense and how to create it... and Tom Snyder continues to be an idiot.

- Bill

IMPORTANT UPDATE:
TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: Theme & Story - and my BLACK THUNDER film.
Dinner: Ham sandwich.
Bicycle: medium, and I felt better than yesterday.
Pages: Finished the Script Article and did a synopsis.
Movies: No.

Real men Don't Sleep: Santa Fe Adventure 2

By the time the pocket sized plane lands at Santa Fe, you just needed to add a little mustard to me and you’d have a pretzel. I wait until every one else, including the transvestite who stole the bulkhead seat, have deplaned before I move into a crouching position, grab my computer bag from the overhead glove box, and duck walk down the aisle to the little hatch they call a door (about chest high on me). The Santa Fe airport is tiny - they unload the bags by hand and carry them to the miniature lobby.

I was late for the plane, the plane was at some far away spur gate at LAX, and I fear that my bag may not have made the plane. This is a big problem for two reasons:

1. There really is only one flight a day into Santa Fe. The plane arrives at 2pm, and then returns to LA at 2:30pm. If my bag didn’t make the plane, the next flight arrives *tomorrow*, *after* my first class `and the panel.

2. Because I am a complete idiot, I am wearing my usual comfortable but ugly travel clothes... but have seemed to learn nothing from my London Adventure a few months ago when they lost my bags and I was forced to wear the same clothes until they found my luggage... except for those forward-thrusting underpants I bought in some store in London. Why hadn’t I packed a shirt and other stuff in my carry on bag? I am an idiot!

But a goofy looking gal in pig tails with a toothy grin in a ground crew uniform pulls my bag off the plane and drops it in the lobby. I grab it and wheel it to the center of the lobby, a couple of feet away, where there’s a gal with a cardboard sign that says Santa Fe Screenwriting Conference. Instead of getting my own personal driver with a list of strip clubs and biker bars, there is *one* driver for the whole conference. She’s a school teacher by day, and owns an ancient boat-like Lincoln Continental which belonged to her grandfather before he passed away. There are two other people on the plane she is picking up, cute Wendall Thomas who teaches screenwriting at UCLA and has worked in the biz for years... and the transvestite who swiped the bulkhead seat. A short, stout, woman who is a script consultant. She says she needs help with her bags... so I end up carrying them. That’s my job, right?

We drive to the venue - then her luggage is my problem again. I have no idea why this is. And the Transvestite is telling me to be careful with one of her bags because... Well, I already am being careful with her bags - they are not mine - but I am starting to think maybe I should drop one just so that I can be bitched at for something I actually did. But soon her luggage becomes someone at the hotel’s problem, and I check in.

I am exhausted. I have not slept and think about taking a nap... but can’t seem to fall asleep. I splash cold water on my face and go out to the hotel lobby...

Where there are some people I know, including Peter Hanson co-writer and director of TALES FROM THE SCRIPT who did a screening and Q&A in the morning. We talk, and more folks I know - many from the Dallas Screenwriters Association. They have a great organization, and often go to events like this in groups. DSA members always travel in flocks. There were five or six that were all there together and a couple of others who were there but hanging out with other people.

One of the Conference volunteers spots me and gives me a full tour of the conference location - the room where I’m doing my morning class, the room where we will have our mega panel the next afternoon with all of the teachers, the restaurant where I can get all of my meals for free just by writing the code word on the bill, and she asks if I need anything special for the class - I say a white board would be nice. Sometimes I like to draw pictures.

I also hint around to find out what Conference attendance is like these days - in those early days there were 300 to 500 people every year, but the first couple of Screenwriting Expos had somewhere in the 4,000 range... and now it has shrunk down to under 1,000. The “Screenwriting Conference Boom” has gone bust. It was dwindling *before* the economy went south. All kinds of explanations from easy access to info on the internet (like my website) to people leaving screenwriting for the next boom - YouTube videos and blogs. I brought 80 assorted classes on CD, and that will probably be enough for 300 people... but I find out there are around 100 people for the classes with *many more* for the producers events (when I’ll be on my way home). I could have brought 20 CDs and left my big piece of luggage at home.

I go back to the lobby, and there are more people who either I know or who know me. We sit around talking screenplays and movies and just life stuff until other groups begin drifting off to dinner - some in the hotel restaurant, but many go into town where there are a lot of great restaurants. Even though I have free dinners in the hotel (the conference picks up meals but not drinks), when the group asks if I want to go to dinner with them, I say yes. Most of the people are from Dallas, I think. A few locals are in the group and end up transpo captains.

Dinner is Mexican/Southwest - and I can not remember the name of the place. Marias? Pasquales? We had all of these possible places to go and this was the decision. I think it might have Maria's - but if any of you guys who were there that night read this and I am wrong, correct me. Anyway - Margaritas. Lots of them. I mostly drank Negro Modelo beer. The food was great. I had a tamale plate - 2 pork, 2 vegetarian, rice and refried.

Afterwards - back to the hotel... and the hotel bar.

Here is my problem with the hotel bar at a screenwriting conference - everybody knows me. Or, at least enough people know me and want to buy me drinks that I have several drinks. Several drinks I probably should not have the night before I teach a class with a brand new format I have never done before. Several drinks I probably should not have had on no sleep. But I want to be social, right?

Hey, let me take this time to thank all of you. Not just the people who bought me drinks, but the people who hung out with me and even the people who are just reading this blog. Writing is a solitary business (at least, until you get those stupid script notes), and it’s great to have friends in just about any place a pocket sized plane can land. Whenever I do one of these things and I’m miles from home, you folks make me feel at home. If I were ever wrongly accused of murder in Portugal and on the run from the police, I’m sure someone there who knows me from this blog or my website would hide me for a night and then turn me over and collect the reward the next morning. And if the reward was enough, I wouldn’t blame you. If it’s only a couple of bucks, well, I might be a little pissed off. But you folks are always nice to me, and I thank you for that.

After several beers which I did not pay for, I went downstairs to my room, set my alarm to give me enough time to coffee up and read over the 10 pages before my morning class.

And I can not fall asleep.

Might be that I am used to Los Angeles noise and the night noise is different here... fewer sirens and helicopter, more birds.

I finally fall asleep... and wake up 4 hours later before my alarm has gone off. About 2 hours before my alarm is supposed to go off. I try going back to sleep - it doesn’t work. I guess I’m awake, huh? More time for coffee and class prep, right?

CLASS IS IN SESSION

An odd thing happens when I do these events - even with little sleep, I have a ton of energy. Might be nervous energy, because I’m really not comfortable doing public speaking, or maybe it’s because my blood is 75% coffee and 25% alcohol. Whatever it is, even without sleep I’m okay. I start the class, and try to match 10 page script segments to people - without remembering any of the writer’s names. So I try to do it by personality. Who is the funny person who wrote the comedy? Who is the person who wrote that script that seemed like it had been translated into Chinese and then re-translated into English? Who wrote the baseball movie? You try to find some clues.

Also, there are always people whose faces I recognize from someplace. Maybe they took a class from me somewhere else, maybe they are one of my facebook friends and I’ve seen their picture, maybe they were featured on America’s Most Wanted last night. While I’m teaching the class, part of my brain is wondering: Where do I know you from?

One of the other things I’m wondering is: where do I know you/your script from? One of the titles and loglines seems really familiar. I have read it before. The logline is problematic - it seems scattershot and loopy. I can’t remember where I have read it, and I’m scanning faces for someone I might have met with at some other event. Maybe I read it online somewhere - at Done Deal or MWSM or Wordplay or one of the other places I pop in now and then. When I was reading the student’s first ten pages, this one worried me. After reading the familiar logline, I thought was afraid it might be this crazy guy from MWSM who goes crazy and rants about the Hollywood Conspiracy whenever anyone mentions there is a problem with the logline or pages he posts. The last thing I wanted was a crazy guy who has a grudge against me from something I may have said online in the first row of my class. What’s in his backpack? A knife? A letter opener? One of those portable electric chain saws?

But after saving those ten pages for last, I read them... and they are funny! The second best pages in the class. I have notes on them - there are some places where they can be improved, but his pages are one of the two good ones. If these pages landed on the desk of a development exec in Hollywood, they could pass for the work of a pro. But, which one of my students wrote those pages and where the hell do I know them from?

At the end of the first 3 hour class, I have addressed some of the problems with the some of the student’s first ten pages without outing any of them, and everyone has been scribbling notes and nodding their heads when they hear something that makes that little light bulb go off over their head. At the end of class, a few students ask if they can submit a revised version of their first ten pages, based on this new information. I explain my lesson plan - that we may not actually tear apart the pages in class, instead just cover the weaknesses in the scripts with lessons on how to solve those problems and improve the writing of each element. But I tell them I *will* e-mail them notes on their 10 pages and logline. I have already scribbled this stuff down on the pages, no problem to type it up and e-mail it to them.

A few students come up after class to tell me that they’ve already learned a bunch after the first day, and a couple ask me if they can talk to me about their scripts outside of class. I explain that between classes, panels, consultations, I have very little time. Then the volunteer who showed me around yesterday and has been checking in to make sure all of the classes are running smoothly comes up and asks if I’ll read her 10 pages and give notes. I say that I have a hole in my consulting schedule on the last day, and if she wants that slot she can have it. After that I excuse myself to go to lunch... if I don’t get out of here I’ll be doing the afternoon panel without having eaten.

Off to the hotel restaurant, where the secret code words gets me a free lunch!

Friday: everything goes really wrong.

- Bill
IMPORTANT UPDATE:
TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: Character & Dogjuice - and BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM.
Dinner: Dennys BBQ chicken sandwich.
Bicycle: Yes - and it was hot, and I perspired.
Pages: Had a list of things to do and didn't get many done.
Movies: No.

I invade the UK again...
6/11 - M4M2 - 18:15 - Crash Dive - The crew of a nuclear submarine rescues supposed victims of a boat disaster, but the victims turn out to be terrorists intent on capturing nuclear weapons aboard the sub.

I am sorry!

Are Ticket Sales Down Due To No Original Screenplays?

We just had the lowest ticket sales for a Memorial Day Weekend in *17 years*, and after last year's record ticket sales (and box office), this year so far is off by 3%... Why? Well, here's an article from the Los Angeles Times that lays the blame on the lack of movies that began as original screenplays...

Why Does Hollywood's Heat Of The Summer Box Office Feel So Ice Cold?

There have been a few other articles in the trades and the papers pointing to the lack of original material on screen or the lack of *script quality* as reasons for this summer slump, and all of this bodes well for *us*, because the studios will probably start buying spec scripts again, and maybe even realize that it takes a great script to make a great movie. Screenwriters will get a little respect...

Until the next remake or sequel makes a ton of money.

- Bill

TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: DVD Explosion! - and how theatrical releases are just commercials.

Congratulations - Julie Kenner!

From Deadline Hollywood:

1492 Pictures and South Korea-based CJ Entertainment unveiled their first slate this morning since signing a three-year development deal late last year to create family-friendly films with global appeal. 1492 partners Chris Columbus, Michael Barnathan and Mark Radcliffe pick the projects, and CJ funds development and will co-finance production with studio partners.

They start out with three thrillers.

* Carpe Demon is an adaptation of the Julie Kenner novel Carpe Demon: Adventures of a Demon-Hunting Soccer Mom. Columbus will rewrite the story of a stay-at-home mother charged with cleaning up her demon-plagued small town.




I read this book a couple of months ago and it's a lot of fun - a soccer mom who was once a Buffy-like demon hunter keeps her past secret from her local politician husband and two kids... but when demons invade her town this becomes more difficult. Every chapter ends with a cliff hanger, and it does a great job of mixing domestic issues with supernatural suspense. The book is clearly aimed at the soccer mom set, but it was a fun read for those of us who don't fit that demo.

Now, we get to see the movie!

The Deadline Hollywood Story.

Congratulations to Julie!

- Bill

TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: DVD Explosion! - and how theatrical releases are just commercials.

Mystery Man On Film

It was reported over on Scott Myer's great blog GO INTO THE STORY that Mystery Man On Film has passed away. It's kind of a strange situation, since Mystery Man was, well, a mystery. Nobody knew who he was... even if it was a he. He was great at analyzing films and screenplays, and could find hidden things that seemed obvious once he pointed them out. A genius.

He was a friend of this blog and my website, often linking one of my tips or articles in his blog. He wrote for Script Magazine instead of the other guys - and donated all of his earnings to charity. He was interested in movies and screenplays, not money. I didn't agree with everything he wrote, but I don't agree with everything anyone writes. He had amazing insight into what makes a screenplay work.

I could keep typing about how great he was, but his words live on:

Mystery Man's Top 101 Articles.

He will be missed.

- Bill
IMPORTANT UPDATE:
TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: DVD Explosion! - and how theatrical releases are just commercials.
Dinner: City Wok tomato beef with brown rice.
Bicycle: A couple of blocks.
Pages: Still recovering from Santa Fe.

Pocket Sized Plane: Santa Fe Adventure 1

A decade ago when my book came out I got two phone calls back-to-back about teaching screenwriting, one from the Raindance Film Festival in London and one from the Screenwriting Conference In Santa Fe. I told both that I did not teach screenwriting, I just wrote screenplays and articles about screenwriting... but public speaking was not my thing at all. Both told me to give it a try, and made me an offer I could not refuse: fly me, put me up, pay for my food and drinks... and pay me a stipend to teach a class. The idea of traveling on someone else’s dime sounded great, and giving back, and preventing some really awful screenplays from entering the world, sounded great. So I did Raindance and then flew to Santa Fe a couple of months later... and continued to teach at both events for a few years. One year Santa Fe decided to rotate teachers as a way to bring in more students, and one year when they wanted me back I was doing something else, so this is the first time I’ve been back in a few years.

The first year I was there (which I think was the first year of the event) they assigned me a driver/assistant who picked me up at the airport in Albuquerque and then would drive me from the hotel to the college campus where they held the event every day, take me anywhere else I needed to go, and got to sit in on my classes for free in exchange. This was great, because I had a tour guide and assistant and usually ended up reading their script. That first year, I asked my driver to make a list of all of the strip clubs and biker bars in the area and be prepared to take me to them whenever I called. This was a joke, but my driver showed up the next day with the list, and the next year the guy who showed up at the airport to pick me up had a current list of strip clubs and biker bars for me. This became a running gag - every year the new driver had a list.

I have always said that Santa Fe is the best conference I have ever been at, because they are really well organized and solve any problems that pop up instantly. I have been to events that seemed to be thrown together at the last minute and where complete chaos behind the scenes, but behind the scenes at Santa Fe everything is a well oiled machine - due to Larry Stouffer who runs it. Larry is a produced screenwriter... and that’s probably why it’s a great conference as far as the classes are concerned as well. Other events I’ve been at are a bunch of gurus selling their books and seminars and whatever else they may have, but Larry gets professional screenwriters to teach classes. They have “Academy Labs” - and these are taught by Oscar Winners or Oscar Nominees or Emmy Winners or nominees. These are 3 hour a day classes for 4 days - and Larry doesn’t just offer one Oscar winner teaching a class, there’s a selection! Either the first or second year I was there we had the writers of WITNESS, THE STING, GROUNDHOG DAY, NASHVILLE, ELEPHANT MAN, etc... and the writers teaching the “regular classes” included the writers of LEGALLY BLONDE, AIR BUD, MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE and, um, me.

NEW FORMAT... SCARES ME!

So, when Larry called and asked if I was free the week after Memorial Day and wanted to teach some classes, I said yes. The first year I was there I had a stack of 5x8 cue cards that I could read off if I got nervous and froze up. Since then, I’ve put together that big book of notes for myself (if you’ve done the 2 day class, you’ve seen it) for when I freeze up or just haven’t had enough sleep or coffee... But Larry said this year would be a different format completely - we would be workshopping the first ten pages of everyone’s scripts. Hmmm, I have never done anything like that before. You may think I’m quick witted, but really I’m the kind of guy who has to think about stuff for a while and eventually finds an answer. This workshopping thing might be a problem.

I asked Larry to get me their 10 pages and a logline ASAP so that I could have some pre-thinking time. I still had to do 3 consults a day for 3 different screenwriters (not in my class) and do panels and a 90 minute lecture class.

Most of the 10 pages and loglines rolled in just over a week before the class, and it was the normal mix - a couple of good ones, a couple of awful ones, and the rest somewhere in the middle. I worried about the ones that were not good - did I want to rip these people apart in class... in front of everyone else? I came up with a class plan - to use the 10 pages as a jumping off point for lessons on dialogue and characters and all of the other things, and not “out” the writers with problem screenplay. Instead I would say, “A couple of you have screenplays with flashbacks, so here are some methods to improve your flashbacks and make sure you are using flashbacks correctly.” I planned my class to work this way....

THE WAY TO SANTA FE?

The Travel Guy for the Conference keeps calling me at 9am. If you ever want to *not* talk to me, call me at 9am. I am asleep. He has one of those internet phone services, so I keep getting voice mail. When I finally get him on the phone, he tells me I’ll be flying out of LAX, and returning on Saturday afternoon. How the Conference works is - classes during the week until Saturday and Sunday is pitch to producers day. There is usually an evening Producer’s Panel on Saturday as kind of a segue, and then the big BBQ party on Saturday night where students can mingle with pro writer teachers and producers. Um, this is also where Bill networks with producers and tries to make sure I’m still a working screenwriter so that Larry invites me back next year.

So I ask the Travel Guy if I can fly out on a late flight on Saturday night, so that I can go to the BBQ - even if I have to leave early. I’d get *some* time to network. The Travel Guy tells me, no - there is only one flight, at 2:30pm. WTF? I figure they have a deal with an airline for discount tickets at some slow time of day - and this is it. I would love to stay over until Sunday, but the Conference is done with me and probably needs that room for one of the producers. I think about calling Larry to find out details so that I can either book an extra night at the hotel or find out what other hotels are near the venue. Because they are now holding the event at the hotel (The Lodge in Santa Fe - great place) - the rooms are going to be filled with students *and* teachers *and* any Conference staff members who decided it would be easier to roll out of bed and go to work than to drive to the event. Will there be room for me? I decide to screw it and go home Saturday on that 2:30 flight... thinking I might bump into some producers in the hotel lobby as I check out and they check in. Yes, and I could buy a lotto ticket and win $78 million, too.

I’m reading all of my student’s 10 pages plus all of my consult’s 10 pages, and going over my class materials and going to a Memorial Day BBQ at Bamboo Killer Emily and her BF’s house and my assignment goes to script and I have to get my CD and Blue Book orders fulfilled and the community college I took film appreciation courses at is having a film fest and asks me if I can arrange for some prizes and all kinds of other stuff... plus I want to burn some CDs to sell at Santa Fe.

The night before my flight, I can not sleep. My brain will not close down - did I remember to pack this? Did I bring my notes on that? I am awake when the alarm goes off. I shower and shave and pull my bag out to the curb so that I’m ready for the shuttle van to get me to LAX (flashback: the Travel Guy told me they couldn’t fly me out of Burbank - which is down the street from me). (You should never use a flashback to insert info you just forgot to mention. Flashbacks should escalate the present time conflict.) Anyway - there’s some big crash on the 405 and we are in bumper-to-bumper and the shuttle van driver calls in and finds out all but one lane is closed ahead, and some people may miss their flights. I am Mr. Plan Ahead and won’t miss my flight... but will not be there early and may have to jog a little to get to the gate.

We get to LAX and I check my bag and have enough time to buy a coffee and walk leisurely to my gate... only I can not find it. American Airlines. Gate 44. Except the gates skip numbers. There is no 44! It goes from 43 to 45. My leisurely walk becomes a panicked run as I try to find someone who can tell me where the missing terminal is. Well, I have to take this escalator down to a lower level, then down a hall, then to a “busport” where a shuttle will take me across active runways to a remote terminal (44) on the other side of the airport. Swell.

I get to terminal 44 and they are already boarding my plane. I am always worried that I will not fit on the plane because I am 6'4" and much of that is legs. Usually I have a moment to ask if I can get an emergency row or bulkhead row at the counter before board, but there isn’t time... I hand them my ticket for seat 9A and race onto the plane...

Which could fit in my pocket.




An Embrear 140 Regional Jet - 42 passengers total, three seats to each row. That isn’t 3 seats then an aisle then 3 more seats - that is 3 seats total. The A row has only one seat in it, then seats B and C are on the other side of the center aisle. And it is claustrophobic as all hell. I am not usually claustrophobic, but this plane is so tiny that I can not stand in the aisle - I have to crouch and do kind of a Groucho Marx duck walk to my seat. I fold myself into the seat and have to stay folded and crouched for 2 hours. Sweeeeeet!

We take off, and I notice that one of the bulkhead seats up front is *empty*. Hey - maybe I can unfold myself for the rest of the flight. When we get to cruising altitude and they take off the seatbelt sign I start to signal for the flight attendant, when this short squat transvestite unbuckles his/her seatbelt and changes seats to the bulkhead seat I wanted. Didn’t ask, just took it. Now, I do not know if this is a squat man in a dress or a very very mannish looking woman. Doesn’t matter to me either way - they are in the seat. I have to sit folded up like that for 2 hours...

Wednesday - checked bags and lessons not learned previously.

- Bill

IMPORTANT UPDATE:
TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: Theme & Character - and film #18.
Dinner: something frozen.
Bicycle: No.
Pages: No.
Movies: No.

Do You Know The Way To Santa Fe?

I am at the Santa Fe Screenwriting Conference this week teaching a master class... so any blog entries will depend on the wifi in my hotel room and my available time.

Script Tips have that dreaded list-o-tips.

There are some new blog entries coming up - maybe next week. One is on "Pre-Bragging", one on "Saving Face", and one on "Patients".

Check out some of the other blogs over there while I'm gone -->

- Bill

Lancelot Link Thursday

Lancelot Link Thursday! For those of you who think Ronald Reagan was *Bonzo's* sidekick, here are some articles about screenwriting and the biz that may be of interest to you. Brought to you by that suave and sophisticated secret agent...



1) Great article on DON'T LOOK NOW and Venice, Italy.

2) The Hollywood Reporter becomes a celeb rag like People?

3) PRINCE OF PERSIA screenwriters.

4) New Studio To Sell To?

5) Interview With "Mr. Raindance" - Elliot Grove.

6) My films attack the UK again... sorry!

7) Today's Car Chase: before there was THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS there was this film from Universal about an undercover cop infiltrating a group of car thieves, written by the creator of LAW & ORDER before he was a famous TV guy. Welcome to NO MAN'S LAND...



One of many car chases in the film.

- Bill

IMPORTANT UPDATE:
TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: Act 2 Is Quicksand - And the first BOURNE movie.
Dinner: The new Subway chicken salad sandwich - had it with all of the lettuce and stuff, and there was too little chicken. This one needs to be eaten without anything else on the bread.
Bicycle: No.
Pages: Mostly working on the Santa Fe class.

Make A Feature In 3 Days?

Just a reminder...

Thursday May 27th at 7:30pm at the Egyptian Theater in Hollywood, the Los Angeles Premiere of POPATOPOLIS - a film I saw at the Raindance International Film Festival in London last year. The movie is being released on DVD, and this screening is a celebration...




POPATOPOLIS is a film that answers the question - can you make a feature film in 3 days with a crew of only 2, starring women with freakishly large breasts who may be too top heavy to stand? B movie director Jim Wynorski can... and this doc chronicles every crazy minute.

Here is a link to my review from London - POPATOPOLIS.

If you are in Los Angeles and like sleazy low-end Z movies, come on down and see this documentary on how they are made!

LOST

Over 45 minutes of adverts... at $900,000 per 30 second spot = over $81,000,000.00 for the final episode.

- Bill

IMPORTANT UPDATE:
TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: Writing For Toys - and the video game for THE GODFATHER PART 2.
Dinner: City Wok - Gai Bowl.
Bicycle: Short!
Pages: um, none. Totally screwed up day.

A deal at the speed of light...

My friends Bill and Terry just sold a pitch for a whole bunch of money ($3.5m) to Disney. Here's the story. They still hold the record for spec sales with DEJA VU... which got mangled a bit on the way to the screen.

Congratulations guys!

- Bill

Action Book Question

Working on the Action Book rewrites, so no Fridays With Hitchcock today, but part one of the "lost" Hitchcock interview with Tom Snyder is below.

But first... I am in the middle of rewriting the Action Screenwriting book, and so far it is going well. I have tried to rewrite it many times before, but the big problem always ends up being the half dozen chapters which contain really old and really crappy stuff always bogs me down. I get frustrated and quit - going back to fantasy land of some spec script. Rewriting the book is no fantasy. But this time I decided to just force myself until I broke through and got some momentum going. That's where I am now - it's a lot of danged work, but I'm doing it. Lots of new information, all kinds of new examples, and few original sentences remain.

Last year when I was fighting the damned page trying to rewrite the book, I wrote two articles on Action Scenes for Script Magazine that used CASINO ROYALE as examples. These were potential chapters in the book rewrite.

But here is the question (comments section) for any of you who read both articles - should I include both of them in the new book or only the first one? I would probably cut 10%-20% of the second one because it would be similar information, but should I have two very different examples of action scenes from the same movie? Or just that first article and skip the second article completely? Tell me what you think...

And while you're at it, if you have read the action book - what is your most favorite and least favorite chapter? Some stuff will get trimmed or even cut out, and I want to make sure I'm not cutting out the best part by accident.

And now to Hitchcock...



What frightens Hitchcock?

- Bill

IMPORTANT UPDATE:
TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: Echo Scenes - absolutely kick ass tip with SHOOTER, THE LOOKOUT, VERTIGO and NOTORIOUS as examples.
Dinner: Blackforest Ham from Subway - one of the Jared low fat ones.
Bicycle: Medium ride - and freakin' wind on the way home again!
Pages: Finished this chapter, happy with it, on to the next.

Lancelot Link Thursday

Lancelot Link Thursday! For those of you who like your bananas stirred not shaken from the tree, here are some articles about screenwriting and the biz that may be of interest to you. Brought to you by that suave and sophisticated secret agent...



1) Megan Fox Fired From Transformers - Middle Aged Men Shocked.

2) Virtual Refrigerator Magnets... because real refrigerator magnets are too much effort, being out there in the kitchen.

3) Lucas News: EMPIRE STRIKES BACK... remake in 3D?

4) Help me spread the word! Click Here and add ScriptSecrets.Net or this blog!

5) Today's Car Chase is from THE HIDDEN, a *great* sci-fi action flick:



That's Chris Mulkey as the crazy bank robber - he's a regular on the TV shoiw SAVING GRACE these days and pops up on 24, but back then he was one of those great 80s actors who did leads in Indie films and supporting roles in studio films like 48 HOURS. This film stars Kyle MacLachlan and Michael Nouri... and the always hot Claudia Christian. Clu Gulager plays the angry police chief.

- Bill

IMPORTANT UPDATE:
TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: Genre = Emotion - what do you want the audience to feel?
Dinner: I don't know yet - that is where I'm headed!
Bicycle: Medium ride in a north-westerly direction... where there were police cars and helicopters for some reason.
Pages: Still fighting this chapter, but also read some of my workshop pages.

Spring Progress Report

Well, Bill, you can trash a $200m plus film sight unseen, but what the hell is going on with *your* career?

I’m so glad you asked.

1) Just finished a new spec... and starting another.

2) *Actually* working on the action book rewrite - since that $253 used price on Amazon is kinda crazy to pay for an out of print paperback.

3) My big studio hit 80s film remake project - known to friends as Grandma’s Possum Pie because no one has sent out a press release that they're remaking this film and I don’t want to be the one who let the cat out of the bag if they have some *reason* for not wanting this known - seems to have stalled. At least, as far as I am concerned. There is probably some other writer working on it right now. I got one of those script notes that I don't know how to make work (remove the antagonist) and asked if *they* knew how to make it work and I got one of those, “You’re the writer, be creative” answers (though, in different words). There were a couple of meetings and some phone calls and some e-mails after that, but I don’t think they ever figured out how it could work and make sense. My plan has been to wait until they figure out that the note doesn't work - even if it means some other writer wastes their time doing a few drafts.

4) The 3rd Place Contest Winner - That flavor lasted a couple of months. Over a dozen production companies requested it, and only 2 managers, no agents. I thought that was strange, because there were folks who got requests from agents and managers when they announced the top 100... and even more when they cut it down to the finalists. But I only had 2 requests when I bronzed - and one of those was after sending a query which included a link to the contest winner's page. The whole reason for entering VOLATILE was that it was an experimental script (first script in decades written with no outline) and one helluva bleak story. And that’s what just about every prodco said. I had some meetings at some studios, a few places read additional scripts because they liked the writing but thought the story was too dark... and eventually that moment of lukewarm heat dissipated. I actually have one place that is still reading stuff... but no agents or managers or dentists to the stars.

5) The “new assignment”: just got a call, next week we have a meeting and then I write the next draft. That’s going smooth.

6) Looks like I got a rewrite gig after I finish that draft. Some action script is in trouble and the producer wants me to make it work. I don’t like rewriting other people’s work, and you probably will not see my name anywhere on this film unless it’s a “Special Thanks” thing. I just want to make the script work... and make some money... and get in good with the producer (who will be making other films that need screenplays).

7) Circling possible projects - that may crash and burn two months from now...

A) I sent out a zillion query letters after winning 3rd place in the contest, and got a couple of hits. One that looks like a good possibility is a producer who had read my stuff long ago and switched studio deals, and was now looking for “reboots” of older popular films in the studio library that nobody else has dibseys on. I pitched him a few possibilities (my lawyer, who is reading this, knows I pitched a stack of films - almost anything in the studio library I could think of with a new high concept twist and a fresh story) - and there was one they really liked. An 80s action flick that seems like an obvious reboot - yet nobody seems to have thought of it, yet. The producer is now talking to the studio.

B) Some folks looking for a thriller are reading an old Hitchockian project of mine that is filled with twists and has a cool concept and catchy title.

C) Some folks who need an MOW writer who knows how to write for budget are looking at something of mine as a sample.

D) A couple of other places are reading stuff from that volley of queries - including the spec I finished at the end of last year. Now, if I could only get all of those other specs I wrote out there!

8) The Italian Novel Adaptation Project - um, keep forgetting about it, so I suspect I do not have that job. It was problematic anyway - a series of mostly unconnected short stories that all happen on the same day. It worked as a book, but there was no plot thread that connected the stories. I screwed up on that one - should have at least given it a shot.

9) There is no number 9.

10) Lawyer just called - he heard of a company looking for a script with a specific type of lead that is not your usual star... and after he kept mentioning this script of mine that did not fit, stupid me realized that it could easily fit with some small cosmetic changes. I am stupid.

So my 20th year as a professional screenwriting will result with (at least) my 20th produced screenplay on screen... and maybe a couple more.

As usual, in 2 months everything will probably be dead except the assignment and the rewrite, but the key is to keep enough things in circulation so that *something* happens, and often one thing leads to another. Probably mentioned this in another blog entry, but I have this sheet of paper with “Chances To Win” on the top, and I try to keep it filled with scripts that are out in the world and meetings and anything else that may result in a sale or assignment. If I only have one lotto ticket I only have one chance, if I have a dozen lotto tickets I have a dozen chances. Here’s the thing - I’m writing my own tickets!

And so are you.

Every script is another chance, another ticket. And if nothing happens with the spec I just finished, I had a lot of fun writing it (dust bunnies that form into creatures and thousands of rats and all kinds of fun stuff in that one), and maybe something happens with the next one - that is about pirates. I love coming up with some strange idea and then living in that world for a while.

Sometimes I even get paid for it.

- Bill
IMPORTANT UPDATE:
TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: Always Do Your Best Work - even of it is on a monster movie for Roger Corman.

Dinner: Turkey sandwich again.
Bicycle: Up to a coffee shop in NoHo then back to Ventura & Vineland for the evening shift, where there was an available table. It was a miracle!
Pages: A chapter on the Action Book.

A 99 Cent Book

Just a quick note - my friend Chris Valin is one of the writers of a science fiction book about how an alien artifact destroys everyone who gets their hands on it. It's a Kindle book, and it's on sale for a limited time for 99 cents. If you have a Kindle and are interested, here's a link:



The Artifact.

Chris also wrote This Book on Naval History, which just came out in paperback.

- Bill

Robbing From The Poor (Writer)

ROBIN HOOD opens today, a year late, and with a Tomatometer rating of 44% (and falling - it was higher on Wednesday when I began this entry) - and it is not expected to unseat IRON MAN 2 as #1 film over the weekend. Oh, and they disliked it at Cannes. Oh, and the budget is rumored to be $250 million and maybe even more. Would you believe this film began with one of the hottest screenplays in town? A screenplay that *was not about* Robin Hood?

(This is not a piece of investigative journalism, it’s an opinion piece, so my facts come from other sources (mostly newspapers and entertainment websites) and I didn’t authenticate any of them. If I get something wrong, feel free to correct me...)




Probably close to 3 years ago, a hot script by Ethan Reiff and Cyrus Voris called NOTTINGHAM went out to buyers. The script was the Robin Hood story told from the Sheriff of Nottingham’s point of view - as he used period “forensics”, like tracking and arrow trajectory, to find a terrorist who was robbing respectable members of society. Shelock Holmes in Sherwood Forest.

One of the things a screenwriter needs is an idea that is both unique and universal. There have been over a hundred movies and TV series about Robin Hood - we all know the story. We’ve seen it all before... But making the “villain” into the protagonist is something we have never seen before - the unique part of the idea. We know this can work, because of that long running musical WICKED and a bunch of other stories that flipped the POV and shown the story from an angle we have never seen before. So we have a story that is universal - Robin Hood - and add the unique element of telling it from the Sheriff of Nottingham’s point of view.




I am all about finding the unique idea, my friends Terry & Ted have their theory of “mental real estate” - the “pre-sold” universal idea that we all know about, and twisting it to make it unique. Hey, we’ve probably all taken the Pirates Of The Caribbean ride at Disneyland, or at least know about it. That is prime mental real estate. Add the magical curse to make it unique and come up with one heck of a great story and great characters and clever dialogue and make sure it’s exciting, and you have a hit. (And if it were that easy, we’d all be the hottest writers in town!) But taking a story we all know and telling it in a way we have never heard before is genius - and NOTTINGHAM didn’t stop with the great idea, it was written well, had a great star role, and an exciting read.

There was a bidding war. Everybody loved this screenplay, everybody wanted to buy it. This is what screenwriters dream about.

We all want to see our stories on screen. But most of the time, your script ends up just a sample so that you can get an assignment writing BEETHOVEN 7 or something. And that’s if you are lucky and get a gig! Sometimes it feels like we are just shoving screenplays into a black void... they just disappear, so we write a new script, and that disappears. Even if you land assignments, it’s not unusual to write for a decade - paid to write - and have nothing ever go to screen.

Okay, there is a bidding war, and Imagine Entertainment wins - that's Opie’s company - and they love the script so much they “fast track” it - they get Russell Crowe onboard to star as the Sheriff of Nottingham and set a release date. The film is going to be made and in cinemas - no protracted development process because they can’t figure out how to make the script work - everybody loves this script!

It’s ready to roll!

DIRECTOR’S MEDIUM?



They needed a director that Russell Crowe likes - he’s the star, gotta make him happy - so they hired Ridley Scott. That sounds great, doesn’t it? You write a script, everybody loves it, you sell it for a bunch of money in a bidding war, and now Russell Crowe is going to star and Ridley Scott is going to direct. I’ll tell you - I would be dancing on clouds if that happened to me. So excited I could not sleep for months.

Except if everyone loves the script, the director is ranked #2... and that can not be! Film is a director’s medium, right? The director must be the most important person on the film! Hey, I’m just guessing about Ridley Scott’s motivations, I don’t really know. What I do know is that he wanted massive rewrites done to the screenplay that everybody loved.

And the script began to evolve...

Brian Helgeland was brought in to do rewrites, and he’s an Oscar winning writer. If he were brought in to rewrite one of my screenplays, I would be dancing on clouds...

Except the rewrites are kind of weird. Ridley becomes *obsessed* with archery, has always wanted to do a movie about archery, and has NOTTINGHAM rewritten to focus on archery and archers. Huh?




Two years ago, when the film was supposed to be going into production, Ridley Scott had them postpone production because “we don’t have a script, yet”. You hear directors say that in interviews fairly often - “We started making the film before there was even a screenplay!” - but you know it’s bunk. What they mean is, “There was this brilliant screenplay that everybody loved and all of the stars signed to... but I thought it needed some work so I brought in some new writers and they tore it apart and we began filming before they actually had a new draft that worked... and everything we shot was *not* that polished draft that came out of development that everybody loved... it was a sloppy first draft where some pages were written on the set as we were filming.” Though CASABLANCA was being written as they shot it, that’s kind of the exception to the rule. Usually the more time you have to work out the problems in the script, the better the script will be... and the easier it will be to shoot. You tend to spend a lot of money when you are making it up as you go along.

Two years ago, when Scott postponed production, Patrick Goldstein at the Los Angeles Times wrote a blog entry about the problems this caused: Nottingham Stalls.

(I actually began this blog entry two years ago... but only that link remains from the original piece.)

The big problem was that the film would not make its release date, and this was supposed to be the big film for the season. The tentpole. Remove the studio’s big tentpole and the whole thing collapses! On top of that, there was a potential SAG strike, plus escalating costs to stop that runaway train of filming and then restart it later. All of this because Ridley Scott wanted a new draft that focused on archery, and he is the director, and the director is always right.

Always.

Except here is the problem - what if the director is wrong?




We currently have a system where that isn’t even considered. The fear is that once a director is “let go” (fired) from a project, they will not be able to find another director and the project will fall apart. And that has happened enough times to be a legitimate fear. If you fire Ridley Scott, you need to replace him with a director that Russell Crowe approves of - that’s some other big name director who may be booked for the next 2 years. But how is that any different than waiting on Ridley Scott for 2 years? And we have seen some new, young (cheap) directors who have done amazing work and everyone wants to work with them... maybe you could convince Russell Crowe that this new guy is worth sticking around to work with?

Look at Christopher Nolan - before MEMENTO he was nobody, and afterwards he was directing an Al Pacino movie... and then the new BATMAN movie. Doug Liman makes GO and gets THE BOURNE IDENTITY... and after he’s “let go” they hire Paul Greengrass, who made a couple of low budget shaky-cam art house films before that. There are always these hot new directors that everybody loves because they are creative and interesting - if Imagine had fired Ridley Scott when he removed their tentpole movie and replaced him with whoever was the hot new director 2 years ago, could they have kept Crowe? Maybe.

Problem is - producers and studios are of the mindset that the director is the power when *they* are the power.

If a director becomes a problem - no matter how big they are, even Spielberg - get the ef rid of them. Fire their butts. Send them to the unemployment line. There are new directors with new ideas every month - and they cost less and may be easier to reason with (because they don’t think they are the 300 pound gorilla). You know what? If enough people fire Ridley Scott because he took away their tentpole or ruined their script or spent twice what was budgeted, I’ll bet Mr. Scott would consider becoming more cooperative.

REMOVING UNIQUE



Brain Helgeland is stuck doing press for this film and cheerleading for it. But he was also in that tough spot of being the writer trying to make the 300 pound gorilla's strange ideas into a screenplay that could be made into a movie. I've had those crazy notes where what you want to do is say, "Are you out of your effing mind?" but instead, your job is to make the note work. Okay, there may be some discussion first, but the director is always right, and if you refuse to execute the crazy note you will be "let go" and they bring in some other writer who will. This is not an easy job and I'm sure Hegeland did the best he could with what he was given.

So, Ridley Scott wanted to change the NOTTINGHAM script which featured period forensics to a script about archers and archery...

Then he came up with a brilliant idea! What if the Sheriff Of Nottingham and Robin Hood were the *same person*! Kind of like FIGHT CLUB. He’d be chasing himself for the whole damned movie! And there were some drafts of the screenplay written like that, until someone (maybe Helgeland) must have hinted that it might be a little silly.

And draft after draft, they script changed - evolved - twisted - becoming something completely different. The way the most expensive meal you have ever eaten turns into something else when it goes through the digestive process.




Eventually, they ended up with a script about Robin Hood - the same story we have seen a hundred times before (according to imdb there are 111 movies about Robin Hood, first one made in 1912). Nothing unique about it. Just a rehash of someone else’s hash. Oh, they say it’s gritty. But the Costner version was gritty for its time - remember? He wore leather instead of tights and there was more realistic violence and Sherwood Forest was muddy and... well, it was gritty. We’ve had that version. And all of the versions feature archery - even the Disney cartoon. So what Ridley Scott did was take a script that was both unique and universal and remove the unique aspect so that it’s bland. They keep trying to find some hook to the story in the trailers and adverts, and can’t find anything. It’s Robin Hood... again. They’ve settled on star and director and GLADIATOR... but I think the bad reviews are making the GLADIATOR comparisons a tough sell.

Oh, and about those bad reviews - several that I have read single out the big problem with the film as the script, and then name the writers - including Ethan Reiff and Cyrus Voris and in some reviews giving Oscar winning screenwriter Helgeland a break and *focusing* on them (because they do not have Oscars, so it must be their fault). I have yet to read a review that mentions the original screenplay... but have read a couple that said Scott and Crowe get bogged down by this terrible script.

You know that dream come true of having your script sell and get fast tracked and star Russell Crowe and be directed by Ridley Scott?

Nightmare.




I’ve had many films that do not resemble my screenplays at all - and some like CROOKED where they changed the concept. The stupid idea in that film was not mine. The stupid story was not mine. The stupid characters were not mine. Nothing in that film was mine. Yet, I get sole credit for the screenplay! None of the changes were written material, just stuff the director and star came up with on the set. So, I was the only actual writer on the film... that is nothing at all like my screenplay. What am I gonna do? Run around town and tell them that wasn't my script?

The worst part of this is that the NOTTINGHAM screenplay that everybody loved and caused that big bidding war? We will never get a chance to see that movie. Never. You see, that script became ROBIN HOOD. That script has been “made” - just made into something else and then filmed. The writers have lost the chance to see their work on screen... forever!




On TREACHEROUS, I was invited to the screening by the producers (ITC) who apologized to me in advance, and I laughed outloud once when a line I actually wrote came out of a character’s mouth. The whole film was completely different (again - not even my idea survived) and it was funny to watch this story that I had nothing to do with and then suddenly have a character say something I actually wrote. It’s surreal. And I’m sure Ethan Reiff and Cyrus Voris were sitting in the cheap seats at the premiere - no red carpet for them I’ll bet - and when something they actually wrote happened, they got a good laugh out of it. You have to laugh to keep your sanity sometimes. And when your script, your baby, gets mangled like this, if you can’t laugh you are in trouble. The only other thing left to do is cry.

LOCK IT!



I am not anti-director, nor am I against a director’s input. I have had some great input from directors that improved the screenplay. I have also had the other kind of input... um, more of that. But film is a collaborative medium, a team sport, and I just want to be a team player. But when one of the players on the team is doing things wrong, I expect the coach to step in and tell him or her to knock it off. And if that player keeps screwing up, it might be a good idea to bench them and bring in another player. Right now we have a system where the director is always right, even when he’s wrong. That’s not a good system!

How many directors did THE WIZARD OF OZ have? How many directors did GONE WITH THE WIND have?

My theory is that the screenplay and screenwriters are part of that team. We do not tell the DP what lens to use, we do not tell the gaffer what light to use, we do not tell the actor how to read their line - we just write the script. That is our job. We are in charge of the script part of the movie, and other people on the team are in charge of other parts of the film. We work together.




For better or worse, a screenplay goes through development and is supposed to come out of that process the absolute best that screenplay could ever be. And if the producer decides that it is ready to be filmed, and attaches the stars and director to it, and the studio (or whoever is financing it) puts up the money - that is the screenplay that should be filmed. It should be locked. Once that screenplay is the best it can be - the whole thing is locked and the star can’t just decide he wants to wear his lucky leather jacket in the film (happened to me), so the character has to be changed to someone who would wear a leather jacket... and the director can’t just throw in a bunch of BS to put his stamp on it. I think part of the “director’s stamp” thing is that many directors have no idea what they are doing and can not use their visual style / directorial style to “put their stamp on it” so they mess with the story (the writer’s job). Fridays are usually about Hitchcock films - even with the experiments, you can tell a Hitchcock film from directing style from a handful of shots. No need to know what the story is. Same thing with Nick Roeg. Same thing with Don Siegel. Same with Orson Welles. Same with Kubrick. Same with Kurosawa (check them out at the Egyptian Theater NOW!). Same with Bergman - even though his stories are often very different, his directing style is his own. It’s when you have a director who doesn’t know how to do his job that he starts messing with yours.




So, we have this screenplay that everyone thinks is the very best it can be, and we lock it. What happens if the director comes up with a great idea? Or the star? Well, like anything that is locked, someone has the key - the producer. The *default mode* for the screenplay is *LOCKED* (which is the opposite of how it is now). So when the director comes up with an awful idea, the producer just says, “I’m sorry the screenplay is locked. We are only going to unlock it for an exceptional change.” And if the director gets snooty about that, fire his butt. Bring in the kid. But, I think if locked is the default mode for a screenplay it stops being personal - because all scripts are locked. The producer makes the decision to unlock it. If the director comes back with another idea that is brilliant, the producer pulls out that key and we make it a better screenplay. I think that is what we all want - as a writer that is what I want. The best screenplay possible.




But how do we know that Ridley’s idea that the Sheriff of Nottingham and Robin Hood being the same person chasing himself like a dog chasing his tail wouldn’t have ended up a brilliant movie? Well, maybe it would be... but I think an important part of my job as a screenwriter and a producer’s job as a producer is to be able to see down that road to see if it works. When I look down the road, the best case scenario I can see is some wacky bow & arrow version of FIGHT CLUB, and FIGHT CLUB was a movie that flopped so hard it almost took down a studio. That’s a hard sell when you’re looking for the studio to put up the money to make the movie. Also, though FIGHT CLUB did it right and is a great movie, having the hero and villain be the same person is one of those new screenwriter ideas that just doesn’t work 98% of the time. The odds say it would have been much worse that the script that everybody loved.




Though none of us is Miss Cleo, we can usually look at past performance and get a good idea whether something will work or not. Sure, there are flukes - and maybe this idea of Ridley’s is one that would work. In that case, I’d say you write that up as a new and different screenplay, and then return the rights of NOTTINGHAM back to the writers and let them keep the money you paid them - as your penalty for switching horses in the middle of the stream. The producer is responsible. And you know what? Probably wouldn’t cost them a penny more than they way it transpired, because once you hire Brian Helgeland to start from scratch with a brand new idea, you have to pay him - the credits for ROBIN HOOD give Helgeland a "Story By" along with the original writers. In fact, it might actually *save* you money - because part of giving back the script means the original writers do not get a piece of that production bonus, and if you make your deal with Helgeland right...

The downside is that that script that everybody loved will be picked up by somebody else, and the Nottingham-chases-his-own-tail version will be in direct competition with the screenplay that everyone loved. See how that would make a producer actually consider the changes?

(The original writers might also consider sticking around - because maybe the changes did make it better.)

And even though we are not Miss Cleo, we can look at the results: NOTTINGHAM - both unique and universal vs. ROBIN HOOD - not unique at all. So there is some objective criteria that would make the changes to the screenplay everybody loved look like a bad bet in the first place.




Hey, what happens if a producer does unlock the script for a bunch of stupid ideas? Well, he probably isn’t a producer for long, right? There are several producers who probably need to be escorted to the Los Angeles city limits and told not to come back any time soon. (I mentioned in a messageboard post a couple of weeks ago that lawsuit that Sean Connery had against a “producer” who didn’t produce anything - he had a development deal with a studio and *only* developed scripts... no intention of ever making them into films. That way, he could never make a flop, and keep getting his development deals. Only problem was, one script had Connery attached to star... and it just never seemed to be getting any closer to getting made. I think we could stand to lose guys like that.)

At the end of the day it’s all about being responsible for the product you create. Ethan Reiff and Cyrus Voris had to be responsible for the product they created, or no one would have loved it and no one would have bought it. Writing a spec script is a big gamble where the odds are against you - such a small percentage of spec scripts sell that it seems crazy to write one. Except unlike buying a lotto ticket, the reason a spec script becomes one of those one in a million winners is something *we control* - the writing. Sure, there’s a timing factor, too - but if you have written a great script it’s going to stand so far above all of those crappy ones that your odds are suddenly much better. We control the odds. We are responsible for writing the best possible screenplay... or it doesn’t sell to anyone in the first place.




Once it has sold, it is the producer’s responsibility to make sure the best possible movie from that screenplay ends up on screen. And if that means firing Ridley Scott, that’s what you have to do. By the way, the producer on ROBIN HOOD is Brian Grazer, who is a smart guy and a good producer - but like every other producer, stuck in a business where directors are right even if they are wrong. That’s the thing that has to change. It’s not Grazer’s fault, nor his odd hair’s fault - he’s just trying to get films made. And Ridley Scott is not the villain, either - he's just doing what directors have become used to doing - being always right. It's not Helgeland's fault - he's the guy caught in the middle trying to make bad notes work. And it's not Opie's fault - though I know that sucker is up to something. The *system* is broken, and ROBIN HOOD is a perfect example of that. If producers used this as a call to arms, they might be able to get the business back on course and not turn that screenplay that everybody loves into a film with a 44% Tomatometer rating.

Tonight I’m staying home and watching the Errol Flynn version.

- Bill


Blog Sampler - some other cool entries.

Fridays With Hitchcock entries.

Today's Blog Entry.


IMPORTANT UPDATE:
TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: Okay, Who Started It? - the guy who throws the first punch is the villain... even if he's a priest.
Dinner: Tortas - a burrito bigger than my head.
Bicycle: Short, due to laundry.
Pages: Instead of doing something productive, I wrote these 16 pages.

Lancelot Link Thursday

Lancelot Link Thursday! For those of you who like your bananas stirred not shaken from the tree, here are some articles about screenwriting and the biz that may be of interest to you. Brought to you by that suave and sophisticated secret agent...



1) Help me spread the word! Click Here and add ScriptSecrets.Net or this blog!

2) All star cast movie that you have never heard of... watch the trailer and you will klnow why.

3) Producer Linda Obst on Why Movies Suck.

4) Roger Ebert's Screenplay for a Sex Pistols movie.

5) Dueling 3D opinions: James Cameron vs. Roger Ebert.

6) Today's car chase (I have this film on DVD):



- Bill
IMPORTANT UPDATE:
TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: Sledge Hammer! - how to make a point without forcing it.
Dinner: Turkey sandwich.
Bicycle: Up to a coffee shop in NoHo then back to Ventura & Vineland for the evening shift...
Pages: Um, not as many as I had planned. The plan was to get a toe hold on a new spec I'd jotted down notes on last year about pirates and a dude who specializes in ship security. But I only wrote a page and a half. The other part of the plan was to rewrite some book chapters - that didn't happen either. Instead: I BSed with Duane about movies all night.

Most Disturbing

So, my friend Harry's second book GAME OF CAGES is coming out, and he thought it might be a good idea to create a "book trailer" to help increase sales. You've probably seen James Patterson's book trailers on TV, and other writer's book trailers are on YouTube and Amazon and B&N and I've seen them play on airport monitors and once on a bar's TV!

When Harry mentioned this on his blog, one of his fans created this disturbing trailer and sent it to him...

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

My plan was to post this today just for fun, but a strange thing happened yesterday - Harry had it posted on his blog, and his publisher - Random House - thought it was strange-funny and posted it on their website, and Publisher's Weekly saw it on the Random House site and thought it was strange-funny and posted it on the magazine's website and... well, I *joked* about the trailer going viral, and now it has!

The lesson in all of this? I think many of us (me included) think "I can't do that because I do not have the money, or do not have the resources, or do not have the connections" and we do nothing. Mistake! Just do it. Do it even if it's silly. Do it, even if it has no chance to succeed - because we don't know what will succeed and what will fail.

There's a guy on a message board who says he has a script with a great idea that he is passionate about... but he thinks it may be a tough sell. Though I am in favor of considering the odds before you write the script, if you *have* considered the odds and still need to write the script? Write it! None of us has a crystal ball. We can use our knowledge of the current market and successes from the recent past to help us figure out what has the best chance of selling or getting read or breaking in, but there are always exceptions and weird sales and what may be a dead genre today could be a hot genre in a decade - and you will already have a finished script ready for that market. If you have to write it, you have to write it. Hey, it may not sell, but every script is a step somewhere.

Harry's new book GAME OF CAGES comes out August 31st, but you can preorder it on Amazon now. But I should warn you - many scenes from this book trailer do not appear in the book. I know. It's kind of a cheat. Maybe Harry will put a dance number in the third book...

- Bill
IMPORTANT UPDATE:
TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: Self Discipline - and why it is easier than self bondage.
Dinner: El Pollo Loco - breast & wing, corn, black beans.
Bicycle: Short. My legs were still throbbing Monday morning - I didn't want to ride at all, but figured I needed to teach them damned legs who's boss. They felt better by the time I rode home, so maybe that was a good plan.
Pages: FADE OUT - 102 pages total.

Friday's Secret Message...

The Hitchcock entry is running a little behind, should be up later today, but to tide you over I am posting this...



I will be teaching a workshop in less than a month at the...

The Screenwriting Conference in Santa Fe (SCSFe)

I think there are still a couple of seats open. This is the best run event I've ever done classes at - and the whole thing is designed for maximum interaction. The workshops are kept small on purpose so there is more individual attention, and the event includes some great activities where teachers and students are sitting together. In the past all meals were taken together - no VIP dining room - and there was a BBQ at a film studio where we all sat together at picnic tables. There are people from the event who have become my friends.

The other thing that is great about the Screenwriting Conference in Santa Fe are the instructors - every time I'm there I want to skip my own class and sit in on one of the Oscar winners or nominees or just big name writers doing a class there. The theory seems to be skip the gurus and find professional screenwriters who can teach.

So, that's where I will be the first few days on next month:
June 1st - June 6th.

For more info:
The Screenwriting Conference in Santa Fe (SCSFe)

And the Secret Message? Here:



- Bill

IMPORTANT UPDATE:
TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: Planned Unpredictability - and SEVEN MEN FROM NOW.
Dinner: A can of generic food.
Bicycle: Short ride up to NoHo.

Lancelot Link Thursday

Lancelot Link Thursday! For those of you who worry that your back-hair may not make you popular with the opposite sex, here are some articles about screenwriting and the biz that may be of interest to you. Brought to you by that suave and sophisticated secret agent...



1) Indie Films - Is Online The Answer?

2) Second film in the new DIE HARD trilogy...

3) Why you always need to have directions to the nearest hospital and someone with CPR training on the set, even on a student film.

4) Fake Guns, Fake Bad Guys, Real Cops.

5) Real DUI Arrest Footage.

6) Today's Car Chase...


Part 2: The Next Ten Minutes Of Chase.

Part 3: The Next Ten Minutes Of Chase.

Part 4: The Next Ten Minutes Of Chase.

And there are a couple more segments, but that gives you most of this little chase. Yes - just about the whole film is a car chase!

7) Last but not least... This woman won $224 Million in California's Lottery... and went to work today. She has no plans to quit her graveyard shift, kinda cruddy job (in TV news) - because she likes working and likes her job. I think this is a lesson to screenwriters everywhere - if you would quit writing because you won $224 Million or because you *didn't* win anything - you aren't writing screenplays because you love writing. This woman loves her job - it gives her something to do every day. The people she works with love her, and love her attitude. I've said this before - the world is what you make of it. If you are a miserable person, winning $224 Million isn't going to change that, nor is selling a screenplay. Life can suck, but we need to laugh off our problems (or at least deal with them without letting them get to us) and find some way to enjoy our lives. Having $224 Million probably creates more problems than it could ever solve - so don't look for some sort of outside success to make you happy. Make yourself happy. We all have the choice whether we are going to be miserable or happy - happy is more fun.

- Bill
IMPORTANT UPDATE:
TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: The Conflict Act - and the films of master thespian Keanu Reeves.
Dinner: Togo's ham sandwich.
Bicycle: Not really - a couple of blocks to Starbucks.
Pages: Only 3... but I have a good excuse! It was some sort of freak day at Starbucks where I bumped into a bunch of people I haven't seen in months! Chris White who runs the TOP 5 comedy website - haven't seen him in months! My friend Louis who works at a studio - haven't seen him in a couple of months. My friend Rick The Stuntman - haven't seen him since the middle of last year! My friends Richard & Monica - also haven't seen them since last year - and she's preggers, with twins! So, I spent more time visiting than writing. But it was worth it.

Script Magazine - May Issue (2010)

Iron Man 2
Writer Justin Theroux, director Jon Favreau, and comic-book legend Stan Lee discuss the next chapter of Tony Stark in the lead-up to the highly anticipated sequel to 2008's summer blockbuster Iron Man.

Bringing Back The A-Team
Joe Carnahan, Stephen J. Cannell, and Brian Bloom talk about big action scenes, CGI effects, villains with moustaches, and their work on the upcoming feature-film version of The A-Team.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Scribe Melissa Rosenberg dishes on the experience of writing The Twilight Saga and discusses why she was on the edge of her seat while penning the screenplay for the third, and latest, installment in the series—Eclipse

From Script to Screen: Winter's Bone
Winter's Bone writers Debra Granik and Anne Rosellini relied on the authentic voices and settings of the Ozarks to guide the adaptation of Daniel Woodrell's "country noir" novel.

Rushing the Reveal: ScriptShadow
Screenplays have been reviewed online before, but a year-old blog called ScriptShadow is raising the sneak-peak game to a new level.

Timing, Prayer, and a Powder-Blue Pantsuit: Selling and Creating Just Wright
For someone who once experienced homelessness and came out successful on the other side, obstacles in Hollywood seem far less daunting. Screenwriter Michael Elliot recounts his inspirational journey to Tinseltown and the pitch meeting that sold his modern-day Cinderella story, Just Wright.

WGA Arbitration: The Good, the Bad ... and the Ugly
Think because you wrote a produced movie that you'll receive screen credit? Don't be so sure. Script takes an in-depth look at the WGA arbitration process.

Lights, Camera, Confidence
With more writers making the move from desk chair to director's chair, the question on many a scribe's mind becomes: How can I do it, too?

Potluck Cinema—Finding Your Voice & Finding Your Film Festivals
Did you know your film has a treasure that can be given only once? This is known as the "World Premiere" ... and it is what every film festival wants. Find out what festivals are looking for, asking for, and whether or not your film fits with their focus.

Contesting
There are several paths to making a career as a successful professional screenwriter. For many aspirants, one excellent route is to participate in screenwriting competitions. Find out which contests best suit you and your script.

Your Script is Finished, Now What?
A finished screenplay gives a well-earned, heady sense of accomplishment to a writer. But it is a literary work that has never been seen before. Here's a guide to choosing a script-consulting service that can help take your project to the next level.

To Hell With Structure
Every aspiring writer should be an expert on structure, especially the three-act form. But not every compelling story out there can be so easily shoehorned into the sometimes simplistic format ... much success can be had in scripts that break structure.

Script Secrets: Method Screenwriting
For a script to be good, it needs to be something personal and emotional. But, for a script to sell, it needs to be something commercial that millions of people will pay to see. Learn how to use events from your own life to create a box-office hit that is actually your personal story in disguise.

For more info, click here!

TO SUBSCRIBE, CLICK HERE!

- Bill

IMPORTANT UPDATE:
TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: Dramatic Decisions - and a GREAT Ben Affleck movie.
Dinner: BBQ Chicken Salad and sweet potato fries at Fuddruckers.
Bicycle: Yeah - had to get there.
Movies: HARRY BROWN at the Arclight.

MACHETE trailer - For Cinco De Mayo

Wow - not only is this a great day to release this trailer, Arizona managed to unknowingly do publicity for the film. I can't wait...



"We didn't cross the border, the border crossed us!"

Here is the original fake trailer from GRINDHOUSE (rated R - NSFW - boobies)...



"You better make damned sure the badguy isn't you."

- Bill

I've Gone To Hell!

*Blog only* word count for last week: just over 8,000 (half of that was Friday's Hitchcock entry).

In standard pages = over 32 pages.

Number of weeks of similar word count before I'd have a standard book = 7.5 weeks.

So, if I put the same amount of effort into writing a book, I'd have one in 2 months.

Or a screenplay in (under) 3 weeks.

I also did a tretament for my assignment last week and all kinds of other writing.

Must change priorities!

Time to get back to working on the spec...

Sometime last year I started writing this semi-new spec script called 2ND SON, and it kept getting swept aside by other projects. A few times it was swept aside by other specs (which I finished), a couple of times swept aside by assignments... and sometimes I would try to jump back into the script only to have forgotten what the danged thing was supposed to be about.

But over the weekend I placed nose to grindstone and forced myself back into the story... and made some actual progress. The story has now gone to hell... in a good way. I am 15-20 pages from the end, and most of that will take place in Hell. My current problem (which will be fun, so maybe it isn't a problem) is to figure out what sort of hell this will be - the things that make the hell in this script unique. A lot of that will be a play on what is expected in Hell - okay, a 3 headed dog, but what kind of dog? Hey, what if "dog" is "dawg"? All of those decisions - and the first half of today will be designing my own version of Hell - then the second half will be having my characters deal with it.

So, after last week's wall-to-wall blog entries, this week may be a little lighter.

Or not.

I may feel the urge to avoid writing one thing by writing a blog entry.

- Bill
IMPORTANT UPDATE:
TODAY'S SCRIPT TIP: Emotion Pictures - it was the very first Script Tip in 1998.
Dinner: Grand Slam with whole wheat pancakes and turkey bacon.
Bicycle: Yeah - medium rides in NoHo.
Pages: 5 pages yesterday... Yeeees!