Just a quick post to update any of you wondering what's going on with Bill's horror movie for Lifetime... nothing! Lifetime passed - too scary!
So when I return from London, and finish teaching my *seven* classes for Expo, I'll do a rewrite that turns it back into full-out horror...
Just in time for AFM.
- Bill
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Monday, August 28, 2006
Procrastination & Prioritization
This month is almost over... and I’m not even close to finishing all of the things on my to do list. Because I’ve got so many irons in the fire, and it’s easy for me to lose sight of the big picture... and I’m just as lazy as everyone else... I put together a to do list every month. It can be anything from just the script I’m writing and whatever other deadline stuff I need to do, to a day-by-day list that breaks down what tasks I have to do on each day. This month, I had a bunch of different things to do, so I had a day-today list.
Between the website, this blog, screenplays, classes, articles, events, and my career stuff (once again I’m looking for an agent and manager) (oh, and I need to sell a script in case the Lifetime deal falls through) - I have a million things fighting for my attention. Often I feel like that guy who used to be on the Ed Sullivan show who had to keep three dozen plates spinning on top of three dozen pool cues. All I do is run back and forth keeping the plates spinning!
So this month I had three major tasks:
1) A page one rewrite on this ancient sci-fi action script that has been renamed STEEL CHAMELEONS. I plan on producing this one myself (more on that in a later entry) and I need to get the script done and the project moving along before I fly to London at the end of September... because when I come back I have something like 3 days before I jump into wall-to-wall classes at Screenwriting Expo... and right after that is American Film Market (where I plan on finding a distrib and/or funding for the film).
2) Write and fine-tune all of my new CD classes... so that I can record them before I hop the plane to London, because I want to have the new CD Classes for Expo this year.
3) Like a complete fool, I threw out some titles for potential 3 hour classes for the Raindance Festival in London... and they picked a couple. So I have to create those classes before I hop a plane at the end of September.
Now, factor into this that I post a Script Tip five days a week... and sleep.
So, it was going to be a busy month to begin with.... is it any wonder why I’m way the hell behind?
I decided to set up my schedule so that I would alternate between script and classes - that way my mind could be “fresh” for each task. It’s always a choice between momentum and variety. I never know which will work best, but thought my subconscious might do some script work while my conscious was working on the classes. That kind of makes sense, right?
Well, things didn’t work out as planned.
The script rewrite proved to be more work than expected. You see, this was going to be the second time I’ve done this rewrite. A little over a year ago, I was putting this same project together, and spent some time figuring out how to rewrite the script... and got about 3/4 of the way through the rewrite when... my hard drive got wiped. Because I was still working on the rewrite, I hadn’t printed it out... and, like a fool, I had no back up on disc. So I lost the entire rewrite. I was so depressed, I avoided even thinking about the script... until the end of last month. I was originally going to rewrite a crime script - and change it into a *western* crime script... but realized the odds of selling that were about a zillion to one. Even though I had that rewrite completely prepped and ready to go, maybe it would make more sense to rewrite something else? I looked over all of my projects waiting for rewrites and stumbled on STEEL CHAMELEONS. With AFM around the corner, maybe I should try to put that together again? Hey, I’d already re-written it once, so the second time should be easy, right?
Wrong.
This is a page one rewrite. The original was written in 1993 or 1994. The new version would completely change the protagonist and the female lead, and change the plot to take advantage of the advances in CGI effects. When I first wrote the script, it was designed to be made cheap... and there were almost no FX. The audience has changed since then as well, as have my sensibilities. And the original version of the script was written around a specific location that I had access to... in 1993. I don’t even know if that location still exists! I have access to different locations, now, and want to take advantage of them when I make this film. So almost everything is going to be different in this version.
What happened last year was a distrib I met at AFM said he might be interested in helping me set up an action film, what did I have? I pulled out the 1993 script, read it, realized it could probably be made on the unbelievably low budget this guy would provide, and brainstormed up a rewrite that would add a ton of production value without raising the cost. Some of that was just using better ideas, and making the two leads into more interesting characters. I put together a three page synopsis based on these new ideas and delivered it to the distrib, who said “yes!” (as long as you can get Lorenzo Lamas to star... and still bring it in on the dirt cheap budget). When that proved impossible (Lorenzo was booked with a soap opera)... and the rewrite vanished along with everything else on my hard drive... the deal fell apart. But I still had those notes! I still had that 3 page synopsis!
Except over a year later, the notes made no sense to me.
The synopsis would have to be my guide.
So now I have a page one rewrite that was going to be a breeze - but my vague memories of how I did this scene over a year ago are all I have to go on.
So I spend two days, when I should be cranking out pages, just trying to figure out what those pages should be. But on the third day, something amazing happens...
I get a phone call from Movie Maker Magazine asking me to write an article on Realistic Dialogue... and can they have it by Friday? Thursday would be better. It’s *Wednesday*, and I’m already 2 days behind... and by the time I finish the article I’m a week behind and I’ve lost my train of thought on the script...
So I jump into one of the new CD Classes...
Just like the new classes I have to create for London, the new audio classes begin with some subject that I think is interesting and important. I start filing away material on that subject, sometimes writing an article for Script on the subject (but creating an extended version for the class - the horror class is 5 times longer than the article I wrote for Script) as well as writing bits and pieces of the class in my spare time. I usually wait until right before I go into the recording studio to write all of these notes up into a class, so that it will be fresh in my mind when I’m recording. Unfortunately, for well over a year, now, I haven’t been able to get any time in the recording studio. Now it’s time to just do it - even if it means using some other recording studio. That means I have to get these classes written for a possible last minute recording session.
I start to work on one of the classes... then decide I should write a blog entry instead.
After that, I decide to check out the message boards.
And then I spend a couple of days getting my Blue Book and CD orders under control - one of the big thorns in my side is that the place that has printed my Blue Books for years has gone out of business and I have yet to find a good replacement printer. It seems like everyplace screws up the order, which means I have to have them do it all over again... and one place managed to KEEP screwing it up, making the orders really late getting out... and burning up a bunch of my time due to someone else’s screw up. So I’ve been trying out different printers and printing smaller quantities at a time (in case they screw up). This has turned the Blue Books into a major pain in the ass. Oh, and the CDs have become a pain in the ass, too - because I *still* have not found a place that will do the labels. The printer that went out of business used to do that, too. After spending half a day fighting with inept printers, I don’t feel like writing... and I deserve a break, right?
After that, I... oh, boy am I getting behind. And once you get so far behind that you’ll never catch up, it’s pretty easy to just say screw it.
Next thing you know, two weeks have passed and you’ve written an article for Movie Maker and a blog entry and that missing Porn Panel blog entry and a swell new tip or two and fulfilled my Blue Book and CD orders... but haven’t crossed anything off the to do list at all.
Add to that, a manager asked to read a script over a week ago... and I just put it in the mail a couple of days ago. It wasn’t even on the to do list, so I never found time to do it. I’ve had to call another manager back for 2 weeks - again, not on the to do list. I have to get back to that guy! I should put this stuff on the top of my priority list... but all of these other things also need to be on top of the list. Just not enough time!
And I waste a bunch of it hanging around on message boards. Procrastinating. Actually avoiding work. In fact, when I get overwhelmed, I go out of my way to avoid work...
Usually by working on something that has no deadline. Like this blog entry.
That’s my unique way of procrastinating - I work on pointless projects. If there’s some writing I can do that will accomplish nothing - I’d rather do that than the writing that might actually help my career. This makes no sense at all. Some days I answer 20 questions with mini-essays on 5 different message boards... and feel like I’ve done a ton of work... but really have accomplished nothing.
So I can comfort myself by saying I wrote 4 pages today... but later beat myself up because I wrote 4 pages that just don’t matter. They don’t cross anything off the list. So I appear to be working... but I’m really not. It’s just a different kind of procrastination.
Maybe I need to do better at prioritizing - factor in all of these other things that always pop up? Even factor in things like this blog entry. That would be more realistic... but I can’t really see “Avoid Work By Writing A Blog Entry” on the to do list.
The good news is that over the weekend I figured out some of the critical stuff on the STEEL CHAMELEONS rewrite... and managed to get the first 10 pages rewritten.
Oh, and I changed all of the dates on my To Do List so that it starts with this week and ends 3 weeks from now with a rewritten script and all of my classes ready to record (or teach in London). Hopefully this time around I’ll actually cross some stuff off.
Unfortunately, I’ve begin today with a 4 page blog entry.
- Bill
Between the website, this blog, screenplays, classes, articles, events, and my career stuff (once again I’m looking for an agent and manager) (oh, and I need to sell a script in case the Lifetime deal falls through) - I have a million things fighting for my attention. Often I feel like that guy who used to be on the Ed Sullivan show who had to keep three dozen plates spinning on top of three dozen pool cues. All I do is run back and forth keeping the plates spinning!
So this month I had three major tasks:
1) A page one rewrite on this ancient sci-fi action script that has been renamed STEEL CHAMELEONS. I plan on producing this one myself (more on that in a later entry) and I need to get the script done and the project moving along before I fly to London at the end of September... because when I come back I have something like 3 days before I jump into wall-to-wall classes at Screenwriting Expo... and right after that is American Film Market (where I plan on finding a distrib and/or funding for the film).
2) Write and fine-tune all of my new CD classes... so that I can record them before I hop the plane to London, because I want to have the new CD Classes for Expo this year.
3) Like a complete fool, I threw out some titles for potential 3 hour classes for the Raindance Festival in London... and they picked a couple. So I have to create those classes before I hop a plane at the end of September.
Now, factor into this that I post a Script Tip five days a week... and sleep.
So, it was going to be a busy month to begin with.... is it any wonder why I’m way the hell behind?
I decided to set up my schedule so that I would alternate between script and classes - that way my mind could be “fresh” for each task. It’s always a choice between momentum and variety. I never know which will work best, but thought my subconscious might do some script work while my conscious was working on the classes. That kind of makes sense, right?
Well, things didn’t work out as planned.
The script rewrite proved to be more work than expected. You see, this was going to be the second time I’ve done this rewrite. A little over a year ago, I was putting this same project together, and spent some time figuring out how to rewrite the script... and got about 3/4 of the way through the rewrite when... my hard drive got wiped. Because I was still working on the rewrite, I hadn’t printed it out... and, like a fool, I had no back up on disc. So I lost the entire rewrite. I was so depressed, I avoided even thinking about the script... until the end of last month. I was originally going to rewrite a crime script - and change it into a *western* crime script... but realized the odds of selling that were about a zillion to one. Even though I had that rewrite completely prepped and ready to go, maybe it would make more sense to rewrite something else? I looked over all of my projects waiting for rewrites and stumbled on STEEL CHAMELEONS. With AFM around the corner, maybe I should try to put that together again? Hey, I’d already re-written it once, so the second time should be easy, right?
Wrong.
This is a page one rewrite. The original was written in 1993 or 1994. The new version would completely change the protagonist and the female lead, and change the plot to take advantage of the advances in CGI effects. When I first wrote the script, it was designed to be made cheap... and there were almost no FX. The audience has changed since then as well, as have my sensibilities. And the original version of the script was written around a specific location that I had access to... in 1993. I don’t even know if that location still exists! I have access to different locations, now, and want to take advantage of them when I make this film. So almost everything is going to be different in this version.
What happened last year was a distrib I met at AFM said he might be interested in helping me set up an action film, what did I have? I pulled out the 1993 script, read it, realized it could probably be made on the unbelievably low budget this guy would provide, and brainstormed up a rewrite that would add a ton of production value without raising the cost. Some of that was just using better ideas, and making the two leads into more interesting characters. I put together a three page synopsis based on these new ideas and delivered it to the distrib, who said “yes!” (as long as you can get Lorenzo Lamas to star... and still bring it in on the dirt cheap budget). When that proved impossible (Lorenzo was booked with a soap opera)... and the rewrite vanished along with everything else on my hard drive... the deal fell apart. But I still had those notes! I still had that 3 page synopsis!
Except over a year later, the notes made no sense to me.
The synopsis would have to be my guide.
So now I have a page one rewrite that was going to be a breeze - but my vague memories of how I did this scene over a year ago are all I have to go on.
So I spend two days, when I should be cranking out pages, just trying to figure out what those pages should be. But on the third day, something amazing happens...
I get a phone call from Movie Maker Magazine asking me to write an article on Realistic Dialogue... and can they have it by Friday? Thursday would be better. It’s *Wednesday*, and I’m already 2 days behind... and by the time I finish the article I’m a week behind and I’ve lost my train of thought on the script...
So I jump into one of the new CD Classes...
Just like the new classes I have to create for London, the new audio classes begin with some subject that I think is interesting and important. I start filing away material on that subject, sometimes writing an article for Script on the subject (but creating an extended version for the class - the horror class is 5 times longer than the article I wrote for Script) as well as writing bits and pieces of the class in my spare time. I usually wait until right before I go into the recording studio to write all of these notes up into a class, so that it will be fresh in my mind when I’m recording. Unfortunately, for well over a year, now, I haven’t been able to get any time in the recording studio. Now it’s time to just do it - even if it means using some other recording studio. That means I have to get these classes written for a possible last minute recording session.
I start to work on one of the classes... then decide I should write a blog entry instead.
After that, I decide to check out the message boards.
And then I spend a couple of days getting my Blue Book and CD orders under control - one of the big thorns in my side is that the place that has printed my Blue Books for years has gone out of business and I have yet to find a good replacement printer. It seems like everyplace screws up the order, which means I have to have them do it all over again... and one place managed to KEEP screwing it up, making the orders really late getting out... and burning up a bunch of my time due to someone else’s screw up. So I’ve been trying out different printers and printing smaller quantities at a time (in case they screw up). This has turned the Blue Books into a major pain in the ass. Oh, and the CDs have become a pain in the ass, too - because I *still* have not found a place that will do the labels. The printer that went out of business used to do that, too. After spending half a day fighting with inept printers, I don’t feel like writing... and I deserve a break, right?
After that, I... oh, boy am I getting behind. And once you get so far behind that you’ll never catch up, it’s pretty easy to just say screw it.
Next thing you know, two weeks have passed and you’ve written an article for Movie Maker and a blog entry and that missing Porn Panel blog entry and a swell new tip or two and fulfilled my Blue Book and CD orders... but haven’t crossed anything off the to do list at all.
Add to that, a manager asked to read a script over a week ago... and I just put it in the mail a couple of days ago. It wasn’t even on the to do list, so I never found time to do it. I’ve had to call another manager back for 2 weeks - again, not on the to do list. I have to get back to that guy! I should put this stuff on the top of my priority list... but all of these other things also need to be on top of the list. Just not enough time!
And I waste a bunch of it hanging around on message boards. Procrastinating. Actually avoiding work. In fact, when I get overwhelmed, I go out of my way to avoid work...
Usually by working on something that has no deadline. Like this blog entry.
That’s my unique way of procrastinating - I work on pointless projects. If there’s some writing I can do that will accomplish nothing - I’d rather do that than the writing that might actually help my career. This makes no sense at all. Some days I answer 20 questions with mini-essays on 5 different message boards... and feel like I’ve done a ton of work... but really have accomplished nothing.
So I can comfort myself by saying I wrote 4 pages today... but later beat myself up because I wrote 4 pages that just don’t matter. They don’t cross anything off the list. So I appear to be working... but I’m really not. It’s just a different kind of procrastination.
Maybe I need to do better at prioritizing - factor in all of these other things that always pop up? Even factor in things like this blog entry. That would be more realistic... but I can’t really see “Avoid Work By Writing A Blog Entry” on the to do list.
The good news is that over the weekend I figured out some of the critical stuff on the STEEL CHAMELEONS rewrite... and managed to get the first 10 pages rewritten.
Oh, and I changed all of the dates on my To Do List so that it starts with this week and ends 3 weeks from now with a rewritten script and all of my classes ready to record (or teach in London). Hopefully this time around I’ll actually cross some stuff off.
Unfortunately, I’ve begin today with a 4 page blog entry.
- Bill
Monday, August 14, 2006
Finally Finished!
Saturday, I finished the Lifetme script and sent e-mail copies to both the producer and director. I had planned on finishing it Friday, but just ran out of energy. I was right at the big confrontation, and realized that I would be doing a crappy job if I continued writing, so I called it a day. Saturday I woke up ready to go - and exploded the villain into a million pieces, then did a double creepy epilogue scene where we introduce a potential *new* horror creature (for a potential sequel) and hint that maybe the dude from this story may still be out there (to scare the audience after the movie is over).
Once I finished the script, I did a second save of it under a different title and added some of the scenes I had cut because they were too violent for Lifetime. The plan is to do a rewrite that turns the script back into what *I* intended (reversing the Lifetime notes) in case Lifetime decides the toned down version is still too violent. It’s difficult to figure out what they want - and I’m not sure they know what they want. I think the whole idea of a horror script is something that sounds good to them, but on paper it may not fit what they want to make.
I always advise people to reward themselves after they write FADE OUT, because this is a business where rewards from others are few and far between. I fully expect to get a bunch of notes from the producer and director about the things they absolutely HATE in the script. Not much of a reward, huh? So I had planned on celebrating Friday night... except I finished on Saturday. I already had plans on Saturday night - my friend Rolfe has a new movie called NIGHTMARE MAN that was playing on a double bill with his very first movie, THERE’S NOTHING OUT THERE, at the Fine Arts Cinema in Beverly Hills.
Okay, I’ve seen some of Rolfe’s movies in the past - PRETTY COOL and TOMORROW BY MIDNIGHT - and wasn’t really thrilled. Both were made on limited budgets, and were kind of cheesy. But Rolfe told me this was the best film he has ever made, and both L.A. Weekly and L.A. Times gave it a mixed review (good, considering it’s a low budget genre film shot on DV), and the guy’s a friend (and you support your friends, right?) - so after e-mailing my script I zoomed over the hill to Beverly Hills to see his movies. Because I didn’t want to be late, I didn’t stop for dinner. Thought if I got there early enough, I’d eat in Beverly Hills. Might be expensive, but I just finished a script! I was celebrating! Unfortunately, I arrived only half an hour before the movie, and didn’t have time for a restaurant. And there’s no fast food in Beverly Hills... so that meant I had a theater hot dog and popcorn for dinner. Not exactly celebration food, but I was going to see 2 movies - and I love movies.
Um, I didn’t love these movies. Rolfe and his investors had rented a screen at the Sunset 5 the week before, and this weekend they rented the Fine Arts Cinema for Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the double bill. Though I don’t know what they actually paid to rent the place, the cinema has a rental price list... and some addition would put the cost at $15,000 for the three days. About $5,000 a night - and on Saturday night there were about a dozen people in the house. I recognized most of them as other friends of Rolfe.
The biggest problem with both movies was the script. Though both films had major plotting issues, one thing that completely ruined them was the complete lack of characterization, theme, and drama. NIGHTMARE MAN has 4 people in a cabin who might as well been named VICTIM #1, VICTIM #2, VICTIM #3, and VICTIM #4 - they seemed to exist only to be killed. None of them had any *character* and none had any *character growth* - they only existed to be killed. Their dialogue was interchangeable - they had no relationships with each other (even though they were two couples, Vasquez and Gorman in ALIENS have 100 times more relationship that these couples had). Rolfe is a horror movie fan, and there's often talk about "horror movies by fans for fans" - but I'm not sure just being a fan is enough to make a good horror movie. A fan can regurgitate horror scenes, but they may not have anything to say. They end up with a hollow film - a paint-by-number horror flick that's hollow and bland. Not film about real people struggling with emotional problems. You know, movies are about *people* - even horror movies.
Please look at your screenplays and make sure you are writing about people, not future victims.
You know, when I pump out a horror script like GatorBaby, I’m exploring some theme (age) and writing about *characters* trapped in dramatic situations where they have to make life changing decisions. I want you to believe in these people, because that makes the horror of the situation more frightening. I’m also using the horror genre to explore characters, rather than using some characters as pawns in the horror story. It’s about the people, not the genre.
Anyway, Saturday - no celebration. Sunday - one of those days where everything goes wrong... no celebration. Today (Monday) - I’m already bak to work on a new project.
So, take my advice (I’m not using it) - when you finish a script, celebrate.
- Bill
Once I finished the script, I did a second save of it under a different title and added some of the scenes I had cut because they were too violent for Lifetime. The plan is to do a rewrite that turns the script back into what *I* intended (reversing the Lifetime notes) in case Lifetime decides the toned down version is still too violent. It’s difficult to figure out what they want - and I’m not sure they know what they want. I think the whole idea of a horror script is something that sounds good to them, but on paper it may not fit what they want to make.
I always advise people to reward themselves after they write FADE OUT, because this is a business where rewards from others are few and far between. I fully expect to get a bunch of notes from the producer and director about the things they absolutely HATE in the script. Not much of a reward, huh? So I had planned on celebrating Friday night... except I finished on Saturday. I already had plans on Saturday night - my friend Rolfe has a new movie called NIGHTMARE MAN that was playing on a double bill with his very first movie, THERE’S NOTHING OUT THERE, at the Fine Arts Cinema in Beverly Hills.
Okay, I’ve seen some of Rolfe’s movies in the past - PRETTY COOL and TOMORROW BY MIDNIGHT - and wasn’t really thrilled. Both were made on limited budgets, and were kind of cheesy. But Rolfe told me this was the best film he has ever made, and both L.A. Weekly and L.A. Times gave it a mixed review (good, considering it’s a low budget genre film shot on DV), and the guy’s a friend (and you support your friends, right?) - so after e-mailing my script I zoomed over the hill to Beverly Hills to see his movies. Because I didn’t want to be late, I didn’t stop for dinner. Thought if I got there early enough, I’d eat in Beverly Hills. Might be expensive, but I just finished a script! I was celebrating! Unfortunately, I arrived only half an hour before the movie, and didn’t have time for a restaurant. And there’s no fast food in Beverly Hills... so that meant I had a theater hot dog and popcorn for dinner. Not exactly celebration food, but I was going to see 2 movies - and I love movies.
Um, I didn’t love these movies. Rolfe and his investors had rented a screen at the Sunset 5 the week before, and this weekend they rented the Fine Arts Cinema for Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the double bill. Though I don’t know what they actually paid to rent the place, the cinema has a rental price list... and some addition would put the cost at $15,000 for the three days. About $5,000 a night - and on Saturday night there were about a dozen people in the house. I recognized most of them as other friends of Rolfe.
The biggest problem with both movies was the script. Though both films had major plotting issues, one thing that completely ruined them was the complete lack of characterization, theme, and drama. NIGHTMARE MAN has 4 people in a cabin who might as well been named VICTIM #1, VICTIM #2, VICTIM #3, and VICTIM #4 - they seemed to exist only to be killed. None of them had any *character* and none had any *character growth* - they only existed to be killed. Their dialogue was interchangeable - they had no relationships with each other (even though they were two couples, Vasquez and Gorman in ALIENS have 100 times more relationship that these couples had). Rolfe is a horror movie fan, and there's often talk about "horror movies by fans for fans" - but I'm not sure just being a fan is enough to make a good horror movie. A fan can regurgitate horror scenes, but they may not have anything to say. They end up with a hollow film - a paint-by-number horror flick that's hollow and bland. Not film about real people struggling with emotional problems. You know, movies are about *people* - even horror movies.
Please look at your screenplays and make sure you are writing about people, not future victims.
You know, when I pump out a horror script like GatorBaby, I’m exploring some theme (age) and writing about *characters* trapped in dramatic situations where they have to make life changing decisions. I want you to believe in these people, because that makes the horror of the situation more frightening. I’m also using the horror genre to explore characters, rather than using some characters as pawns in the horror story. It’s about the people, not the genre.
Anyway, Saturday - no celebration. Sunday - one of those days where everything goes wrong... no celebration. Today (Monday) - I’m already bak to work on a new project.
So, take my advice (I’m not using it) - when you finish a script, celebrate.
- Bill
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Honesty Is Such A Lonely Word
The strange part about blogging is that it’s a diary that anyone can read. Anyone. There are all kinds of things I want to write about, that will probably bring my career to a premature end. I don’t want to burn any bridges in front of me - I still want to do lunch in this town. But I also want to share some of the stranger experiences.
This creates a problem.
How can I tell you what *really* happened?
One of the guys from the Done Deal boards started blogging, and I linked his blog before reading it... only to discover that he’d deleted it. Seems he was a little too honest and worried about people reading his blog and discovering all of his secrets.
All of us have secrets. And all of us have different degrees of honesty and sharing depending on who we’re talking to. There are things in my life that I’ve never told *anyone*. There’s a big, life changing event in my life that I only talk about with the other people who were involved in that event - no one else knows about it. Other things are pretty well known by my friends, but I don’t discuss with strangers - usually because it would bore them, but sometimes there are things that probably would hurt whatever image I might have. And I sometimes "print the legend" - there are stories that I've told so many times that they only exist in a "mentally edited" version (all of the dull stuff cut out and some things added for flavor).
I used to not care if people knew how old I was, but as the gray begins to show in my hair, I’m starting to think that being an old screenwriter may not help me land jobs... so my age is now going to be a secret (not a very well hidden one - but it’s been erased from the resume and I'm 100 yerars old on MySpace). But most things I’m more than happy to share. I confess to all kinds of things many people would rather keep secret. The second time I lost my virginity was in the frozen food section of Safeway.... of course, it wasn’t a Safeway, then, it was a drive in movie theater... and the "second time" thing is what makes it an amusing story. This is a screenwriting blog, so you probably won’t read that story here... but I’m not shy about telling it. And I’ve never been shy about telling stories that make me look stupid - there are way too many of those. I may get into my personal life now and then, but mostly I’ll be talking movies on this blog.
And talking about all of the crazy things that happen to me while trying to continue earning a living as a screenwriter.
But the problem comes when I’m telling a story about something that happened on a film set or in a meeting. If I name names, I could be killing my career. This blog is probably going to come back to haunt me, anyway. I don’t think I’ll be invited back to Denmark, and there’s a pretty good chance I won’t work with the folks who made that Steven Seagal movie... even though what happened is their fault, not mine. Heck. I was the last to know they were remaking my script! There’s a very good chance I’m going to burn a couple of bridges when I discuss some of my films - and how they came to be so crappy - but there are other people I’d rather not offend. I may want to work with them again.
I’m about to embark on a new quest for an agent or manager... and I’m trying to put together some deals and maybe make my own movie. I want to share those experiences with you... but it’s going to be hard to be honest and name names and work in this town again.
So I’m going to change the names to protect the guilty. And I may change a detail or two, because sometimes even when you change the names, it’s still pretty obvious who you are talking about. I hope these small lies allow me to be more honest about the big stuff. There are still going to be some stories that I just can’t tell. Some of those are *great* stories! I have one on-set story that I often tell in public, but would never put in print - the people involved would be angry and offended. These are people I like, who happen to be involved in a funny event on set that they probably don’t want anyone to know about.
I’ve finally figured out the answer to the "great story that will end my career" problem, which I’ll talk about in *tomorrow’s* entry... but for today, I’m going to do my best to be honest about the big stuff while changing the names and some of the details so that I can continue this so-called career. In a couple of days I will post an entry completely trashing some people I know... and hopefully they won’t figure out I’m talking about them...
Because a man hears what he wants to hear, and disregards the rest.
- Bill
This creates a problem.
How can I tell you what *really* happened?
One of the guys from the Done Deal boards started blogging, and I linked his blog before reading it... only to discover that he’d deleted it. Seems he was a little too honest and worried about people reading his blog and discovering all of his secrets.
All of us have secrets. And all of us have different degrees of honesty and sharing depending on who we’re talking to. There are things in my life that I’ve never told *anyone*. There’s a big, life changing event in my life that I only talk about with the other people who were involved in that event - no one else knows about it. Other things are pretty well known by my friends, but I don’t discuss with strangers - usually because it would bore them, but sometimes there are things that probably would hurt whatever image I might have. And I sometimes "print the legend" - there are stories that I've told so many times that they only exist in a "mentally edited" version (all of the dull stuff cut out and some things added for flavor).
I used to not care if people knew how old I was, but as the gray begins to show in my hair, I’m starting to think that being an old screenwriter may not help me land jobs... so my age is now going to be a secret (not a very well hidden one - but it’s been erased from the resume and I'm 100 yerars old on MySpace). But most things I’m more than happy to share. I confess to all kinds of things many people would rather keep secret. The second time I lost my virginity was in the frozen food section of Safeway.... of course, it wasn’t a Safeway, then, it was a drive in movie theater... and the "second time" thing is what makes it an amusing story. This is a screenwriting blog, so you probably won’t read that story here... but I’m not shy about telling it. And I’ve never been shy about telling stories that make me look stupid - there are way too many of those. I may get into my personal life now and then, but mostly I’ll be talking movies on this blog.
And talking about all of the crazy things that happen to me while trying to continue earning a living as a screenwriter.
But the problem comes when I’m telling a story about something that happened on a film set or in a meeting. If I name names, I could be killing my career. This blog is probably going to come back to haunt me, anyway. I don’t think I’ll be invited back to Denmark, and there’s a pretty good chance I won’t work with the folks who made that Steven Seagal movie... even though what happened is their fault, not mine. Heck. I was the last to know they were remaking my script! There’s a very good chance I’m going to burn a couple of bridges when I discuss some of my films - and how they came to be so crappy - but there are other people I’d rather not offend. I may want to work with them again.
I’m about to embark on a new quest for an agent or manager... and I’m trying to put together some deals and maybe make my own movie. I want to share those experiences with you... but it’s going to be hard to be honest and name names and work in this town again.
So I’m going to change the names to protect the guilty. And I may change a detail or two, because sometimes even when you change the names, it’s still pretty obvious who you are talking about. I hope these small lies allow me to be more honest about the big stuff. There are still going to be some stories that I just can’t tell. Some of those are *great* stories! I have one on-set story that I often tell in public, but would never put in print - the people involved would be angry and offended. These are people I like, who happen to be involved in a funny event on set that they probably don’t want anyone to know about.
I’ve finally figured out the answer to the "great story that will end my career" problem, which I’ll talk about in *tomorrow’s* entry... but for today, I’m going to do my best to be honest about the big stuff while changing the names and some of the details so that I can continue this so-called career. In a couple of days I will post an entry completely trashing some people I know... and hopefully they won’t figure out I’m talking about them...
Because a man hears what he wants to hear, and disregards the rest.
- Bill
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Progress Report
There is no progress to report.
I’m finishing up the Lifetime script, that should have been finished long ago. Big problem has been the notes on the treatment - many of them didn’t sound like they would be difficult to deal with, but have ended up creating huge problems. Oddly, a minor note from the director asking that I combine the ex-husband character and cop character has been the biggest problem. I thought the whole horror-severed tongues / beheaded-pets thing was going to be the biggest issue... but that ended up being just a matter of toning down the bloodshed (and later deciding to return the full amount of gore for the DVD & foreign versions). Though Lifetime may read my gore version and blanch, all of the offensive stuff can easily be removed in the editing room. I think the producer and director would rather shoot that stuff for the post-Lifetime markets.
But the cop / ex-husband thing is kicking my ass. See, now one character is:
A) The cop investigating the killings.
B) Brother of a murder victim.
C) Ex-husband of our leading lady.
D) Father of the leading lady’s kid.
F) On the killer’s hit list.
He has become the center of the universe! Now, every crime scene is also a "What happened to our marriage" scene and a "You need to spend more time with your son" scene. These scenes just topple over under the weight of all that! Because the relationship between the cop and the leading lady has changed dramatically, all of those scenes became completely different than what was in the treatment... and all of the leading lady and son scenes changed... and all of the leading lady and ex-husband scenes changed... and.... well, the 33% of the story that was the horror stuff changed a little, and the 67% that was relationships became a page one rewrite! Every single scene where people weren’t getting killed had to be re-thought, re-planned, and sometimes there was that domino effect where a small change on page 15 created massive changes down the line. Who knew a minor note would have such a major effect?
Actually, I knew. That’s part of my job - to imagine the impact of each note. But it ended up being even more of a problem than I expected. I really wish that people would consider their notes - think of how it will impact the entire script - before they open their mouths. That’s one of the most frustrating parts of this job - a director or producer or development exec who may have only done a quick read of the script will come up with some idea off the top of their heads without ever considering the ramifications. They just throw this stuff out without really thinking about it... and it’s up to me to figure out how to make it work. Sometimes, it can’t work.
Sometimes, in the story meeting, I say: "This note won’t work because..." and explain how the dominoes will start falling. But usually, they can’t really imagine the dominoes falling, and want me to use that note anyway. If it doesn’t work, I’ll just do another rewrite to undo it. Problem is (at least from my POV) that the time and effort and brain cells that go into making the change that can’t work would be better used on some other change that can work... or even writing another script. Sometimes the pointless rewrites take as much time and energy as writing a whole new script! In fact, the worst notes are the most difficult... and most likely to not work at all even after you’ve tried every single way to make them work. The producer or director or Devo scraps that draft of the script and you go back to square one. I wish I’d spent that time writing a new script!
I have this huge stack of scripts waiting to be written (actually, a stack of blank paper). Every one of these pointless drafts is one more script I won't have time to write in my life.
Do you know how much time (and work and brain cells) I’ve wasted on rewrites that never had a chance? A couple of minutes to think through the notes first would save us *all* a lot of time... but I don’t see that ever happening. Producers and directors and Devos are never responsible for their notes. I have to justify every single frigging word in my script, but the "what if they’re cowboys?" notes can be "just a thought I think you should explore". Sometimes, I think this town would run smoother if the producers and directors and devos had to pay for each rewrite that doesn't work out of their own pockets. Then they’d think twice before coming up with some note off the top of their heads. There would be fewer wasted drafts and scripts might actually improve with each new draft.
But, then, I’m a dreamer.
Of course, part of my "no progress" has been a handful of brand new script tips, some blog entries, some prep work on a new screenwriting book, an article for Script Magazine, and several other writing related things that don't add a single page to the script I'm working on.
Anyway - Lifetime script will be finished tomorrow or the next day, then I’m writing up some new classes on audio CD and also doing a page one rewrite on my DIE ROBOT script which will now be called STEEL CHAMELEONS - it’s over a dozen years old... but has a very similar plot to I ROBOT... but with an INVASION OF THE BODYSNATCHERS thing - the androids have "liquid skin technology" and can change to "become" anyone they touch. They are part of plot to take over the government... by replicating the President!
After that... probably one of the "stockpile" scripts I’m writing for a big studio spec sale.
Oh... and there’ll be a new blog entry tomorrow.
- Bill
I’m finishing up the Lifetime script, that should have been finished long ago. Big problem has been the notes on the treatment - many of them didn’t sound like they would be difficult to deal with, but have ended up creating huge problems. Oddly, a minor note from the director asking that I combine the ex-husband character and cop character has been the biggest problem. I thought the whole horror-severed tongues / beheaded-pets thing was going to be the biggest issue... but that ended up being just a matter of toning down the bloodshed (and later deciding to return the full amount of gore for the DVD & foreign versions). Though Lifetime may read my gore version and blanch, all of the offensive stuff can easily be removed in the editing room. I think the producer and director would rather shoot that stuff for the post-Lifetime markets.
But the cop / ex-husband thing is kicking my ass. See, now one character is:
A) The cop investigating the killings.
B) Brother of a murder victim.
C) Ex-husband of our leading lady.
D) Father of the leading lady’s kid.
F) On the killer’s hit list.
He has become the center of the universe! Now, every crime scene is also a "What happened to our marriage" scene and a "You need to spend more time with your son" scene. These scenes just topple over under the weight of all that! Because the relationship between the cop and the leading lady has changed dramatically, all of those scenes became completely different than what was in the treatment... and all of the leading lady and son scenes changed... and all of the leading lady and ex-husband scenes changed... and.... well, the 33% of the story that was the horror stuff changed a little, and the 67% that was relationships became a page one rewrite! Every single scene where people weren’t getting killed had to be re-thought, re-planned, and sometimes there was that domino effect where a small change on page 15 created massive changes down the line. Who knew a minor note would have such a major effect?
Actually, I knew. That’s part of my job - to imagine the impact of each note. But it ended up being even more of a problem than I expected. I really wish that people would consider their notes - think of how it will impact the entire script - before they open their mouths. That’s one of the most frustrating parts of this job - a director or producer or development exec who may have only done a quick read of the script will come up with some idea off the top of their heads without ever considering the ramifications. They just throw this stuff out without really thinking about it... and it’s up to me to figure out how to make it work. Sometimes, it can’t work.
Sometimes, in the story meeting, I say: "This note won’t work because..." and explain how the dominoes will start falling. But usually, they can’t really imagine the dominoes falling, and want me to use that note anyway. If it doesn’t work, I’ll just do another rewrite to undo it. Problem is (at least from my POV) that the time and effort and brain cells that go into making the change that can’t work would be better used on some other change that can work... or even writing another script. Sometimes the pointless rewrites take as much time and energy as writing a whole new script! In fact, the worst notes are the most difficult... and most likely to not work at all even after you’ve tried every single way to make them work. The producer or director or Devo scraps that draft of the script and you go back to square one. I wish I’d spent that time writing a new script!
I have this huge stack of scripts waiting to be written (actually, a stack of blank paper). Every one of these pointless drafts is one more script I won't have time to write in my life.
Do you know how much time (and work and brain cells) I’ve wasted on rewrites that never had a chance? A couple of minutes to think through the notes first would save us *all* a lot of time... but I don’t see that ever happening. Producers and directors and Devos are never responsible for their notes. I have to justify every single frigging word in my script, but the "what if they’re cowboys?" notes can be "just a thought I think you should explore". Sometimes, I think this town would run smoother if the producers and directors and devos had to pay for each rewrite that doesn't work out of their own pockets. Then they’d think twice before coming up with some note off the top of their heads. There would be fewer wasted drafts and scripts might actually improve with each new draft.
But, then, I’m a dreamer.
Of course, part of my "no progress" has been a handful of brand new script tips, some blog entries, some prep work on a new screenwriting book, an article for Script Magazine, and several other writing related things that don't add a single page to the script I'm working on.
Anyway - Lifetime script will be finished tomorrow or the next day, then I’m writing up some new classes on audio CD and also doing a page one rewrite on my DIE ROBOT script which will now be called STEEL CHAMELEONS - it’s over a dozen years old... but has a very similar plot to I ROBOT... but with an INVASION OF THE BODYSNATCHERS thing - the androids have "liquid skin technology" and can change to "become" anyone they touch. They are part of plot to take over the government... by replicating the President!
After that... probably one of the "stockpile" scripts I’m writing for a big studio spec sale.
Oh... and there’ll be a new blog entry tomorrow.
- Bill
Friday, July 21, 2006
A Lifetime In Vegas
A large part of this working vacation is finishing the horror script for Lifetime. It was supposed to be finished on the 1st of July, with holiday that means the 10th. You see, the 4th is a holiday in the middle of the week, and that pretty much closes down the biz for the whole week. Even if I turned in the script on the 5th, no one would get around to even looking at it until the 10th.
The good news about writing in Vegas - nobody here knows my name. I don’t have all of the distractions of home, where even in a random Starbucks there is someone who knows me and wants to talk. Let alone, my normal haunts. I am a creature of habit, and those habits lead to nothing getting done. For a long time I wrote at Priscilla’s in Toluca Lake... until I realized I was spending 95% of my time chatting with friends and only 5% actually writing. Unfortunately that’s what’s happening at my new writing places. It’s nice to have friends around - I go to dinner with the same revolving group almost every night - but sometimes I spend more time talking than writing. If I stay home, I spend more time doing all of those work avoidance tasks. So the good thing about Vegas is, no one here to distract me from writing. A slight problem is that the Starbucks with wifi (some don’t have it) that I need to post my daily tips closes at 6pm and isn’t open on the weekend. That means I can’t put off going on line until my work is done... and the internet is a powerful lure away from work. But I’m sort of doing okay.
The bad news about writing in Vegas is that it’s Vegas. It’s a 24 hour city and I am an insomniac. 3 of my days here have been wasted because, well, I was wasted. For instance, a few nights ago I actually finished my pages, put up my script tip, did a little thinking about my next day of writing, and went to see PIRATES again at a late show. The movie is about two and a half hours long, maybe three hours once you put in trailers and commercials and stuff. Anyway, I got back to the hotel really late. But instead of going to bed, I thought I’d have a couple of beers. Free beers. Free beers that come with gambling. The bad news was that the cocktail waitress was kind of slow making the rounds, so I had to gamble a lot to get 3 free beers. The good news is that I didn’t lose money, well, not much money. I basically paid for my 3 free beers. But the worse news was that there are no clocks in casinos, and I really had no idea how late it was... or, rather, *early* it was when I finally decided to call it quits and go up to my room. Most of the next day was spent sleeping. I raced down to put up my tip, but really didn’t get any work done on the script. I *did* waste time online, though. So I’m sort of behind on the script.
This whole horror script for Lifetime doesn’t make any sense. It began with my COMPLEX script, which has been to Lifetime 3 times. The last time it had a producer and director and the director actually went to Montreal and scouted locations - brought me back photos of the apartment building we’d be shooting at - indoor pool instead of outdoor pool, and more New York urban than the very So-Cal suburban building in my script. But after getting that far is was a victim of quotas - Lifetime had made enough genre films for the year and were only interested in women’s issues.
The script fell back into my hands, and I tried to set it up in a strange deal - a supporting actress wanted to star in a movie and had found the money to make the film... all she needed was a script. I didn’t know this woman, a pair of writers I know did. But they didn’t have a female lead script. But, since I knew they wanted a chance to direct, and this woman would allow them to direct this film, I told them they could use my script to close this directing deal. They said that was nice, but they’d really rather at least co-write something. I know these guys - they have egos the size of Jupiter. They want it all to be about them. I never co-write with anyone, but thought why not? The woman *has* the money, so the film will get made. I’ve had a frustrating few years where nothing got made, and this might start the ball rolling.
So I agreed.... and then realized why I hated co-writing. They expected me to be the typing monkey while they threw completely nonsensical ideas at me. And they never wanted to work! Weeks pass between meetings. They keep putting things off... until it has been *months* since we first started talking about this, and all we really have is the treatment I banged out for free and some talk. After a while, I asked if all of time we had wasted was working against us - was she finding another script? They said "no", but she had a different answer. She was tired of waiting for them to find or write a script, and took her money somewhere else. They wasted a chance to direct because they wanted to be the writer-director-producer-Gods on the project. I think they were afraid if they went with COMPLEX and the film was successful, I’d get all the credit. Like I care?
So when the Lifetime producer called me about COMPLEX, asking if it was sill available, it was. There was a new person in charge of Lifetime Movies, and they had done a little research. Seems the genre films attracted more viewers than the issue films. And the genre films cost less to make - they didn’t need that Emmy-bait cast the issue films needed. So Lifetime was gearing up to make more genre films. And with the Lifetime Movie Channel (all abusive ex-husbands all the time!) they needed *more* genre films and different genres. When I met with the (same) director about COMPLEX, he asked me what I was working on. I said I was just starting this horror film about a single mother who... And he cuts me off. Single mother? Lifetime might want this! I pitch him the rest of the story, and he asks if I have a one page synopsis and if he can show it to Lifetime. Well, of course.
The next week, I have a meeting with producer and director. Lifetime loves the idea - horror is hot and they want to jump on the horror bandwagon. In fact, they’d love to see a 15-20 page detailed treatment. Now, the bad news is that Lifetime does not pay to develop scripts, so I would have to write this on spec... but I was already doing that, right? So now I’d be writing a script on spec with a deal at the end of the rainbow. But Lifetime would like to read a treatment, just to see where the story is going, and make suggestions on where they would like it to go. Would that be okay?
I decide it would. I was writing the script anyway - might as well have a producer who makes movies and buys scripts waiting with a checkbook.
Mistake.
I spend a week and a half writing a treatment. Should probably have taken me less time, but I was preparing for Denmark and Hong Kong at the same time. Somewhere along the line, I ask if the new folks at Lifetime ever got around to reading COMPLEX... and the director tells me no. In fact, it was never sent to them - they were so excited with the horror story that they’re focusing on that. I finish my treatment and deliver it before Denmark....
They read my 23 page treatment and we have a meeting after I’m back from Hong Kong. "Do people have to die in this script? Do there have to be victims other than the leading lady (who survives)? Can there be a love story? Can more of it be about parenting? Can the cop be the love interest... and her ex-husband? Do we really need this "letting go of anger" theme? (It means characters have to be angry.) I don’t understand the supernatural element - can we get rid of that? Too many suspense scenes - there’s one ever 15 minutes (right before the commercial breaks, I explained). This whole first act has to go - we hate it."
Some of the notes were from not paying attention - the director questioned a supernatural element in the middle of the treatment that had been set up in two earlier scenes. When I pointed this out to him, he became defensive and told me he though the set up material had been a joke. This is one of the things I hate most about these meetings - the ego issues. Look, he skimmed the treatment and missed something - no big deal, just admit it. We’re all busy people. But instead he wants me to either lose the supernatural element or spend more time setting it up. Right. Same skim & ego issue with the little bit of dialogue in the treatment - he hated it. Except what he hated was the opening scene dialogue that was part of a crime show reinactment... and written trite on purpose.
Oh, and then we had the kind of note I hate the most - the ones that show lack of imagination. The ones that require you to take them step by step through something that everyone in the audience will instantly understand. In this case, it was an *in scene* segue from reality to reinactment. I swiped this from a DePalma film called SISTERS which opens with a guy in a gym changing room watching a hot blind woman enter by mistake and begin taking her clothes off. At first we think it’s really happening, then it’s revealed as a CANDID CAMERA type game show. I wanted to do the same thing - open with the serial killer attacking a victim, then after the horror stuff was over, the trite dialogue pops up and the lighting turns crappy and we realize we are watching a reinactment. If you were to ask me if this is real or reinactment, I’d say BOTH. It changes at the end. But the director couldn’t see how that was possible and hadn’t seen SISTERS. He also hadn’t seen many of the horror movies I brought up as example - this is going to become a much larger issue later on. So I have to make all of these changes that do not improve the screenplay...
"Oh, and can we still get the script by July 1st?"
So I throw away the whole first act and now have to start from scratch with the same deadline. And their notes really make no sense - they are turning a horror story into a woman in jeopardy thriller (Lifetime staple). With no victims other than the leading lady, this guy isn’t much of a serial killer, is he?
I decide that since I’m not being paid, I’m going to ignore the really stupid notes and see how may of the others I can work in. Problem is, now some scenes that worked with the cop being just a cop are not going to work if he’s the ex-husband and the love interest and the father of her child. This guy is now the center of the universe! What an amazing coincidence that he’s assigned to the case! I do some fancy footwork and hide as many coincidences as I can. But this is hard work. Time consuming. I had solved all of the story problems in my outline stage, and now they had given me more problems. I had to solve these on the fly - as I’m cranking out pages.
So, the script missed its deadline and I’m in Vegas playing catch up... and slowly coming to realize that this script is going to suck. Because their notes have destroyed it. The characters were all reflecting the "letting go of anger" theme - but now they’re not. Now they aren’t characters at all - just names. And the relationship between the female lead and cop doesn’t work at all. I have a way to make it work with him being her ex-husband, but it’s 100 times darker than the original version. Lifetime just isn’t going to stand for it. And I’ve toned down the horror so much it’s bland.
This script isn’t going to make Lifetime happy, and it doesn’t make me happy.
That kind of adds to the lure of the gambling tables. I could be down there getting free beers right now! I started out writing a spec, then I was working on a script for Lifetime, now I think I’m writing for nothing. Just wasting my time....
Well, not really. I still have my original first act (with human tongue removal) and I think with a week or two of rewrites can turn this thing into a real creepy, scary horror script. The idea was always really good - and most of the writing can be salvaged.
So the current plan is to finish the script in the next week, send it to Lifetime, wait for them to reject it, and then start turning back into what it would have been without their notes - an easy to sell spec horror script that’s kind of THE RING (characters) meets NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (story elements).
Lesson learned: write specs the way you want to write them. Hmm, I already knew that!
Oh, and if anyone is interested in a really creepy female lead thriller that Lifetime keeps *almost* buying called THE COMPLEX... I guess it’s still available.
- Bill
PS: I've decided to rewrite a couple of scenes and let the blood flow. If Lifetime *does* want it, they'll make me cut it... but at least there is some horror in this horror script!
The good news about writing in Vegas - nobody here knows my name. I don’t have all of the distractions of home, where even in a random Starbucks there is someone who knows me and wants to talk. Let alone, my normal haunts. I am a creature of habit, and those habits lead to nothing getting done. For a long time I wrote at Priscilla’s in Toluca Lake... until I realized I was spending 95% of my time chatting with friends and only 5% actually writing. Unfortunately that’s what’s happening at my new writing places. It’s nice to have friends around - I go to dinner with the same revolving group almost every night - but sometimes I spend more time talking than writing. If I stay home, I spend more time doing all of those work avoidance tasks. So the good thing about Vegas is, no one here to distract me from writing. A slight problem is that the Starbucks with wifi (some don’t have it) that I need to post my daily tips closes at 6pm and isn’t open on the weekend. That means I can’t put off going on line until my work is done... and the internet is a powerful lure away from work. But I’m sort of doing okay.
The bad news about writing in Vegas is that it’s Vegas. It’s a 24 hour city and I am an insomniac. 3 of my days here have been wasted because, well, I was wasted. For instance, a few nights ago I actually finished my pages, put up my script tip, did a little thinking about my next day of writing, and went to see PIRATES again at a late show. The movie is about two and a half hours long, maybe three hours once you put in trailers and commercials and stuff. Anyway, I got back to the hotel really late. But instead of going to bed, I thought I’d have a couple of beers. Free beers. Free beers that come with gambling. The bad news was that the cocktail waitress was kind of slow making the rounds, so I had to gamble a lot to get 3 free beers. The good news is that I didn’t lose money, well, not much money. I basically paid for my 3 free beers. But the worse news was that there are no clocks in casinos, and I really had no idea how late it was... or, rather, *early* it was when I finally decided to call it quits and go up to my room. Most of the next day was spent sleeping. I raced down to put up my tip, but really didn’t get any work done on the script. I *did* waste time online, though. So I’m sort of behind on the script.
This whole horror script for Lifetime doesn’t make any sense. It began with my COMPLEX script, which has been to Lifetime 3 times. The last time it had a producer and director and the director actually went to Montreal and scouted locations - brought me back photos of the apartment building we’d be shooting at - indoor pool instead of outdoor pool, and more New York urban than the very So-Cal suburban building in my script. But after getting that far is was a victim of quotas - Lifetime had made enough genre films for the year and were only interested in women’s issues.
The script fell back into my hands, and I tried to set it up in a strange deal - a supporting actress wanted to star in a movie and had found the money to make the film... all she needed was a script. I didn’t know this woman, a pair of writers I know did. But they didn’t have a female lead script. But, since I knew they wanted a chance to direct, and this woman would allow them to direct this film, I told them they could use my script to close this directing deal. They said that was nice, but they’d really rather at least co-write something. I know these guys - they have egos the size of Jupiter. They want it all to be about them. I never co-write with anyone, but thought why not? The woman *has* the money, so the film will get made. I’ve had a frustrating few years where nothing got made, and this might start the ball rolling.
So I agreed.... and then realized why I hated co-writing. They expected me to be the typing monkey while they threw completely nonsensical ideas at me. And they never wanted to work! Weeks pass between meetings. They keep putting things off... until it has been *months* since we first started talking about this, and all we really have is the treatment I banged out for free and some talk. After a while, I asked if all of time we had wasted was working against us - was she finding another script? They said "no", but she had a different answer. She was tired of waiting for them to find or write a script, and took her money somewhere else. They wasted a chance to direct because they wanted to be the writer-director-producer-Gods on the project. I think they were afraid if they went with COMPLEX and the film was successful, I’d get all the credit. Like I care?
So when the Lifetime producer called me about COMPLEX, asking if it was sill available, it was. There was a new person in charge of Lifetime Movies, and they had done a little research. Seems the genre films attracted more viewers than the issue films. And the genre films cost less to make - they didn’t need that Emmy-bait cast the issue films needed. So Lifetime was gearing up to make more genre films. And with the Lifetime Movie Channel (all abusive ex-husbands all the time!) they needed *more* genre films and different genres. When I met with the (same) director about COMPLEX, he asked me what I was working on. I said I was just starting this horror film about a single mother who... And he cuts me off. Single mother? Lifetime might want this! I pitch him the rest of the story, and he asks if I have a one page synopsis and if he can show it to Lifetime. Well, of course.
The next week, I have a meeting with producer and director. Lifetime loves the idea - horror is hot and they want to jump on the horror bandwagon. In fact, they’d love to see a 15-20 page detailed treatment. Now, the bad news is that Lifetime does not pay to develop scripts, so I would have to write this on spec... but I was already doing that, right? So now I’d be writing a script on spec with a deal at the end of the rainbow. But Lifetime would like to read a treatment, just to see where the story is going, and make suggestions on where they would like it to go. Would that be okay?
I decide it would. I was writing the script anyway - might as well have a producer who makes movies and buys scripts waiting with a checkbook.
Mistake.
I spend a week and a half writing a treatment. Should probably have taken me less time, but I was preparing for Denmark and Hong Kong at the same time. Somewhere along the line, I ask if the new folks at Lifetime ever got around to reading COMPLEX... and the director tells me no. In fact, it was never sent to them - they were so excited with the horror story that they’re focusing on that. I finish my treatment and deliver it before Denmark....
They read my 23 page treatment and we have a meeting after I’m back from Hong Kong. "Do people have to die in this script? Do there have to be victims other than the leading lady (who survives)? Can there be a love story? Can more of it be about parenting? Can the cop be the love interest... and her ex-husband? Do we really need this "letting go of anger" theme? (It means characters have to be angry.) I don’t understand the supernatural element - can we get rid of that? Too many suspense scenes - there’s one ever 15 minutes (right before the commercial breaks, I explained). This whole first act has to go - we hate it."
Some of the notes were from not paying attention - the director questioned a supernatural element in the middle of the treatment that had been set up in two earlier scenes. When I pointed this out to him, he became defensive and told me he though the set up material had been a joke. This is one of the things I hate most about these meetings - the ego issues. Look, he skimmed the treatment and missed something - no big deal, just admit it. We’re all busy people. But instead he wants me to either lose the supernatural element or spend more time setting it up. Right. Same skim & ego issue with the little bit of dialogue in the treatment - he hated it. Except what he hated was the opening scene dialogue that was part of a crime show reinactment... and written trite on purpose.
Oh, and then we had the kind of note I hate the most - the ones that show lack of imagination. The ones that require you to take them step by step through something that everyone in the audience will instantly understand. In this case, it was an *in scene* segue from reality to reinactment. I swiped this from a DePalma film called SISTERS which opens with a guy in a gym changing room watching a hot blind woman enter by mistake and begin taking her clothes off. At first we think it’s really happening, then it’s revealed as a CANDID CAMERA type game show. I wanted to do the same thing - open with the serial killer attacking a victim, then after the horror stuff was over, the trite dialogue pops up and the lighting turns crappy and we realize we are watching a reinactment. If you were to ask me if this is real or reinactment, I’d say BOTH. It changes at the end. But the director couldn’t see how that was possible and hadn’t seen SISTERS. He also hadn’t seen many of the horror movies I brought up as example - this is going to become a much larger issue later on. So I have to make all of these changes that do not improve the screenplay...
"Oh, and can we still get the script by July 1st?"
So I throw away the whole first act and now have to start from scratch with the same deadline. And their notes really make no sense - they are turning a horror story into a woman in jeopardy thriller (Lifetime staple). With no victims other than the leading lady, this guy isn’t much of a serial killer, is he?
I decide that since I’m not being paid, I’m going to ignore the really stupid notes and see how may of the others I can work in. Problem is, now some scenes that worked with the cop being just a cop are not going to work if he’s the ex-husband and the love interest and the father of her child. This guy is now the center of the universe! What an amazing coincidence that he’s assigned to the case! I do some fancy footwork and hide as many coincidences as I can. But this is hard work. Time consuming. I had solved all of the story problems in my outline stage, and now they had given me more problems. I had to solve these on the fly - as I’m cranking out pages.
So, the script missed its deadline and I’m in Vegas playing catch up... and slowly coming to realize that this script is going to suck. Because their notes have destroyed it. The characters were all reflecting the "letting go of anger" theme - but now they’re not. Now they aren’t characters at all - just names. And the relationship between the female lead and cop doesn’t work at all. I have a way to make it work with him being her ex-husband, but it’s 100 times darker than the original version. Lifetime just isn’t going to stand for it. And I’ve toned down the horror so much it’s bland.
This script isn’t going to make Lifetime happy, and it doesn’t make me happy.
That kind of adds to the lure of the gambling tables. I could be down there getting free beers right now! I started out writing a spec, then I was working on a script for Lifetime, now I think I’m writing for nothing. Just wasting my time....
Well, not really. I still have my original first act (with human tongue removal) and I think with a week or two of rewrites can turn this thing into a real creepy, scary horror script. The idea was always really good - and most of the writing can be salvaged.
So the current plan is to finish the script in the next week, send it to Lifetime, wait for them to reject it, and then start turning back into what it would have been without their notes - an easy to sell spec horror script that’s kind of THE RING (characters) meets NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (story elements).
Lesson learned: write specs the way you want to write them. Hmm, I already knew that!
Oh, and if anyone is interested in a really creepy female lead thriller that Lifetime keeps *almost* buying called THE COMPLEX... I guess it’s still available.
- Bill
PS: I've decided to rewrite a couple of scenes and let the blood flow. If Lifetime *does* want it, they'll make me cut it... but at least there is some horror in this horror script!
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Hong Kong Adventure (part 2)
Friday, the day before my big 2 day class, and Richard’s 87 year old mom is going to take me sight seeing in Hong Kong. Their condo (which has a beautiful view of the city) has it’s own little bus that goes to the Central District and back every hour. We hopped on the bus, and a few minutes later we were in the Central District.
Hong Kong is an island filled with HUNDREDS of towering skyscrapers. The Central District is a dense concentration of buildings... and people. One of the amusing things about the Central District is that they have double decker buses in the streets filled with people... and double decker sidewalks! There are enclosed walkways connecting all of the buildings. The streets are so crowded, you *need* the overhead walkway. And they are airconditioned - something else that you need. Hong Kong is hot and humid in May. Even on the second floor sidewalk, you are pushed along by the river of people. Everything is double or triple decker in Hong Kong - they build *up* because there is no land available to build *out*.
And they build using old fashioned technology. A few buildings away from Richard’s mom’s is a building under renovation... and the workers are using bamboo scaffolding. In fact, the workers seem to have no fear of heights - I see them carrying heavy equipment and building supplies as they jump from one piece of scaffolding to another like monkeys. I know a few stunt men in Hollywood - and they wouldn’t do the things these workers are doing without being cabled in. These guys are crazy!
Richard’s mom leads me across the Central District on that second level of sidewalk until we come to the ferry building. We’re going to take a ferry boat across the harbor to Kowloon and have lunch at the harbor. The Octopus Pass works here, too. We get onboard the ferry and start across the harbor, passing all kinds of interesting ships. At Kowloon we walk through the packed, hot streets passing bunch of tourist type places. The cruise ships dock there, so most of the businesses cater to them. Lots of souvenir places. Richard’s mom leads me into a tall building filled with a dozen restaurants, and we climb stairs until we find one she likes. We step inside... and it’s freezing! They have the air conditioning blasting, and the sudden change in temperature from really hot to cool is shocking. It’s a dim sum place, so we order a handful of different items from the menu and will grab some stuff off the cart if we’re still hungry. The food is amazing - the dumplings (some with interesting savory vegetables) have thin skins made of rice flour, rather than the thicker flour based skins. You could see what was inside the dumplings. Interesting. This was an upscale restaurant, lots of businessmen...And it was so chilly Richard’s mom waved over a waitress and asked for a shawl. I thought this was weird. The waitress returns with a warm looking shawl with the restaurant logo and drapes it over her shoulders. The house shawl - they way they have house ties and house jackets. I look around, and there are a dozen women wearing house shawls.
The food was great, and we did grab a couple of things off the carts moving through the restaurant. Then a really strange dessert cart rolled by - dessert *soups*. I had to have the red bean dessert soup! Just too weird! The soup is served hot, and it’s... red bean soup. Sweetened with cane sugar. A strange idea for a dessert, but it tasted okay. You should try it sometime.
Oh, I left out the strangest thing about Hong Kong! Every single elevator has a thin plastic sheet over the buttons for hygiene - and a note above the plastic tells you that this sheet is changed every hour or every three hours or whatever. They don’t want their fingers to touch a button that someone else’s fingers have touched. Because all of the buildings are so tall, I must have been in a hundred elevators while I was in Hong Kong and they all had the plastic over the buttons.... But in that chilly restaurant at every table were people sticking their chopsticks into community bowls of food and then putting them in their mouths. Double dipping. So touch: spreads germs, but mouth to mouth: no germs. Makes no sense to me.
After lunch (they took that shawl back at the door) we walked to another ferry terminal and took a ferry to the terminal near the Peak Tram. The tram has been in operation since 1888, taking people up the steep side of the peak - through neighborhoods, past houses and very tall buildings, until you come to the peak overlooking all of Hong Kong.
At the peak, we walk around, looking at various views of Hong Kong below us. I ask Richard’s mom if she would like to stop and take a rest... she says she’s fine. *I* would like to stop and take a rest! I’ve been walking all over the place! I’m tired! Richard’s mom is a mountain goat or something - climbing the side of the hill, to get a better look. We walk all over the place - and a rickshaw driver asks if I would like a ride. “No.” “You want a picture in the rickshaw?” “Sure.” I sit in the rickshaw, and his partner takes some pictures (my camera) and then he tells me it will be a bunch of money Hong Kong. I should have taken the rickshaw ride.
We get a cold drink at a McDonalds at the Peak shopping center (tourist trap). The McDonalds have strange things - rice cakes instead of bread-buns, and “You’ll love the red cabbage!” and some kind of beef in sauce thing between the rice cakes. They also have Big Macs.
Just as it’s getting dark, we take a bus down the hill to the Central District and take the private bus back up to the condo, where Emily the maid has prepared dinner. Emily is very nice - she always has coffee ready for me in the morning. The first morning, she made me a plate of really soft fried eggs and some toast. I’m not really fan of eggs, but I ate them... then told Emily I don’t usually eat breakfast (I don’t) and would just like some coffee. From then on, when I stepped into the living room she would be there - waiting - with a cup of coffee. Like she was psychic.
One morning I wanted a refill, and didn’t want to bother Emily, so I went through the door into the kitchen and servants area and poured a cup from the coffee maker. Emily walked into the kitchen and freaked - I’m not allowed in the kitchen! I should just call her next time, she would bring me more coffee - that is her job. It’s strange that the doorway into the servants area of the house (and the kitchen) is like the Berlin Wall. Later, I was talking to someone and found out that *all* of the maids in Hong Kong are from the Philippines, and they all have Sunday off. There’s a park section in the Central District that turns into Manilla on Sunday afternoon. All of the maids congregate there.
After dinner, Richard wants to take me someplace special. We drive to Central and park, then he starts walking up these steep streets - we’re climbing the peak! We go from street to street to street, and I have no idea where we are going or why. At every intersection I have to turn around so that I can see what direction Richard is pointing - he’s still walking a few paces behind me. We climb up into an area filled with night clubs - packed with young tourists. It’s like some college party the stretches for blocks - Spring Break in Hing Kong. We keep climbing. I’m exhausted. I’ve done my walking for the day, I want to sleep. We climb higher and higher up the hill, I keep asking where we are going and Richard finally says he’s taking me to a trendy night club. Swell - tomorrow morning at the crack of frigging dawn I’ve got to get up and tech a class, and the night before I’m going to get drunk. That’s if we ever make it to the night club - we’re passing dozens, maybe hundreds of clubs and bars, but Richard has one at the top of the hill he wants to go to.
We manage to get there before my legs give out... barely. They are throbbing like crazy due to all of the climbing, and my feet *hurt*. I’ve spent the entire day walking up hill! We take a seat, I ask what kind of beers they have - Carlsbourg is the answer.... beer from Denmark. So I sit in some Westernized night club in Hong Kong surrounded by 20 and 30 year old white people and drink Danish beer. The Hong Kong experience! I really don’t understand why we are here. Not much conversation happening - I get the feeling this whole thing is Richard trying to impress me by taking me to some trendy club... as if I’m Paris Hilton or some celebrity. I don’t care about trendy clubs - I’ve drank beer in parking lots and had a good time.
After having a few beers, I tell Richard that I am tired and need to get some sleep before I teach my class. He asks if I would like to take the escalator back. Huh? We go one street over from the street we came up, and there is an *escalator* instead of a sidewalk. Going up and going down. See, we didn’t have to *walk* up that steep hill, we could have just taken the escalator like everyone else. It’s really strange that there’s an escalator on a regular street - not part of a shopping center or business. It’s a city escalator. Another unusual think about Hong Kong. The problem with going down by escalator is that there are patches with only one escalator beside stairs - and at this hour the escalator is going up. So I end up doing a bunch of walking anyway.
I drag myself back to the garage, we get the car, and drive back to Richard’s mom’s condo. The exercise has me exhausted, but also has the blood flowing. I can’t sleep. I lay there, listening to the air conditioner, trying to sleep. Finally, my eyes drift closed... and too soon after that my alarm goes off. Time to teach my class. We have to be there by 8am, and Richard wants to be there an hour before that to get breakfast... I don’t really eat breakfast, but I’m up at 6:30am so that I can be ready to go by 7.
Guess what? The only place open for breakfast is McDonalds. I drink coffee and wonder why people love the red cabbage so much.
Richard has been telling me that sign ups are slow because Hong Kong isn’t much of a seminar city, but the place I’m teaching the class is a huge building - a couple of floors of which are rentable class rooms and auditoriums for seminars. There are bunch of Learning Annex type classes going on, and a big video screen that lists them all (including mine). The room itself is nice - there’s even a built in video projector that I attach to my laptop. Problem is, I can’t get my DVD of clips to work in my laptop. Some clips play, others don’t. Kind of frustrating.
When we ride the elevator up to the room, I put mark on the plastic. When I ride down at lunch, there really is a new sheet of plastic over the buttons.
At lunch, I tell Richard and the rest of the class that I need to rest my voice, so I will be eating alone - please don’t take offense. Here’s the strange thing - this will be the first meal I have eaten on my own. I walk down the street toward the tunnel (used in a Jean Claude Van Damme movie produced by Ashok Amritraj, who produced many of my films) - this takes me away from big business and toward small businesses - car repair shops and neighborhood grocers and... little restaurants. I walk until I find a restaurant without any English on the sign and go inside.
Everyone inside is Chinese. They bring me a menu - in Chinese - and some warm green tea. The waitress says something in Chinese, I smile. I look over the menu and figure the lower the price, the less likely I’m going to get some “delicacy” that I wouldn’t want to eat. I point to two low price items, and the waitress goes away. I look around at the families and workers in the restaurant - just regular folks. There’s a soccer match on TV, and everyone is watching. A few minutes later the waitress returns with my food - something that seems to be Chicken with vegetables in a tangy sauce and some dumplings. There is also white rice... that has eggs in it. I guess everything in Hong Kong has eggs in it. I look around for silverware and notice a wood box with wood chopsticks sticking out of it. Used wood chopsticks. Stained wood used chopsticks. Washed, I guess, but the wood has absorbed food, liquid, germs. Well, everybody else is using them... I grab a couple and eat my lunch. The food is great.
Next day I do the same thing in a different Chinese restaurant. Same kind of families and working guys on a lunch break. This time a Jet Li movie on the TV. I end up ordering squid and rice and some fish cakes. I would never have ordered the squid on my own - not much of a fan of rubbery seafoods, but I ate it anyway. Using wooden chopsticks that hundreds of other people have used before me. Maybe that mechanic watching the Jet Li movie used them yesterday. I was either going to die or I wasn’t. It still seems strange that they don’t want to touch an *elevator button* that someone else touched, but they will eat out of the same bowl and use the same chopsticks that dozens of other people have used. I don’t die, so maybe they know something that we don’t?
The class goes well - small (so I’m not making any money other than my advance) but good students. They’ve seen a bunch of movies and asked good questions. One of the students hd her birthday on Sunday, and Richard bought her a cake . We had a little birthday party.
After the class, one of the students wanted to buy me a drink and talk to me about project. I usually don’t want to talk about other people’s projects - 99% of the time the conversation goes something like “Can you get my script to Kate Hudson?” Hey, if I could get *my* script to Kate Hudson, don’t you think I’d do that first? But Richard insists I talk with this woman. She’s Stanley Tong’s *sister*. Um, okay! Stanley Tong is the guy who directed all of those great Jackie Chan Hong Kong movies. Oh, and she used to be married to the guy who starred in FIVE FINGERS OF DEATH - probably the first kung fu movie I ever saw. So we have a drink or two after class in the fancy Italian restaurant where everyone in class had lunch on both days. She has a project about Christian winemaking that she’s trying to set up, wants to know if I have any suggestions. Christian winemaking? She tells me the story (in detail) and I have no suggestions at all afterwards. It’s a really odd project. I don’t know how many people want to see a movie about *pagan* winemaking, let alone a winemaking movie with a strong Christian message. Anyway, I give her some basic advice, thank her for the Carlsbourg and Richard and I leave.
The next morning we drive to the airport at dawn, and I have the longest day of my life! I start at, like 6am on Monday in Hong Kong and arrive in Los Angeles at, like, 10am Monday. I could sleep for a week!
Which is why I’ll never get rich doing these classes... heck, I don’t even make a decent wage when you take all of the time into account. Whenever I fly somewhere to do one of these things, it’s usually a full week (time to get over my jet lag) and I usually do some sort of preview class. So that’s a week... plus a few days before that week when I’m preparing for the class and a few days (often a full week) after when I’m recovering from the class (and the jet lag). So that’s over two weeks of my time spent on the class... for which I receive, well, about what my buddy Louis makes as an Executive Assistant for a VP at Fox in a week. Would have made more if we’d had a bigger crowd - but that wasn’t in my control. Obviously, I’m not doing this for the money... Las Vegas Screenwriting Conference still owes me for a year ago! Denmark will probably never pay me.
It’s cool to travel to places like Hong Kong and Denmark, and if there’s a film festival I usually get to see a lot of movies I wouldn’t normally get to see. And teaching the class forces me to think about screenwriting - and that improves my own writing. I could make a lot more if I just stayed at home and wrote scripts... but then I wouldn’t know about “house shawls” and plastic sheets over elevator buttons that are changed every hour for hygiene. That’s cool stuff to know!
- Bill
Friday, June 30, 2006
Hong Kong Adventure (part 1)
By now, a bunch of you are wondering when (and maybe if) I’ll ever get around to telling you about my Hong Kong Adventure... Well, here it is!
Denmark ended up being a nightmare, but Hong Kong was a little different. I never know how these people find me to attebnd their Film Festivals or teach classes, I don’t advertize that I teach classes and try to keep a low profile. I think what happens is that one Festival reads the brochure for some other Festival and sees my name and tracks me down.
So in the middle of last year I get an e-mail from a guy named Richard with the Hong Kong Film Academy asking if I would like to do my 2 day class as part of the Hong Kong Film Festival /Market in March of 2006. They will reimburse my airfare and pick up all of my expenses, guarantee me $Xk and give me 50% of everything after expenses. This is a huge established film festival in March with hundreds of people attending. If I get 50 people, I can make more money than London (unless their expenses are... expensive). I’ve had 50 people when I put on the class myself in Vancouver with *no* film festival going on at the same time. So this is a good deal...
Except I’m dealing with a communist country and they have more rules than you can imagine. I need a work visa to do a 2 day class. They send me the forms over the Christmas holiday when I’m in Concord visiting my folks and need them returned right away. At the same time, Denmark sends me a contract which I sign and return. I return from the holidays, and book my flight to Denmark but hold off on Hong Kong until my visa is granted by those pesky communists.
February comes and my visa has still not been granted. I’m e-mailing these guys like crazy, and they say it should be any day. Problem is, I’m going to miss the 3 week cheap airfare window and pay some outrageous price. Sure, it’s reimbursed, but the cheap price is over $1k and the expensive price is over $3k - a lot of money out of my pocket and it makes the expenses higher (and less $ for me). A week before the festival - no visa. Richard in Hong Kong e-mails me that the visa won’t be ready until *after* the film festival. This makes no sense. After the film festival I’m granted a 10 day visa. Richard suggests I come in May. Won’t be part of the film festival, but as long as I have a 10 day visa why not use it? Hey, I’ve never been to Hong Kong. We pick a weekend in May and I buy my plane tickets for just over $1k.
Two weeks after returning from Denmark I’m back at LAX flying to Hong Kong.
Another really long flight. This time, the Hong Kong guy (Richard) is waiting in the airport. So I’m not lost in a foreign country again. And, he has US $ in his pocket to reimburse me for my airfare and to pay me the advance on the class. Completely unlike Denmark!
The bad news is, almost no one has signed up for the class (6 people) and he wants me to do a 3 hour preview class that night. Oh, and to cut costs, instead of putting me up in a hotel, I’m going to stay at his mother’s house. His mother’s house? He tells me it’s okay, he lives there, too. This is a mid-40s guy, living with his mom. I’m thinking “Mega-loser”. Okay, later I find out that’s normal in China. A family buys a house and every generation lives in it. And, to tell you the truth, the idea of living in someone’s home instead of some hotel (that looks the same as some other hotel) is kind of cool. So we go to his mother’s house... which is really half a floor of a condo on the side of a hill overlooking the city of Hong Kong. 4 bedrooms plus servants quarters. And they have a servant named Emily from the Philippines. I have my own room (which was an office before I arrived).
Wait, I forgot something. Walking to Richard’s car at the airport, he walks *behind* me. I have to keep turning around to find out which direction we are going in. I suggest he walk ahead of me or beside me, but he just points in the direction of his car every time. For a while I think that this is custom, too... but it’s *not*. Not a single other person I meet in Hong Kong walks behind me. His *mother* walks in front of me. The servant, Emily, walks in front of me. I think Richard may have self esteem issues.
So I take a short nap and shower before my 3 hour preview class. This class is not going to be hosted by the Film Academy, Richard is footing the bill for my seminar, it’s his personal money in my pocket. That’s bad news because he doesn’t have an institution behind him to help advertize the class. The preview class is going to be at some production space in the very tall building that houses his company (and a million others).
We go to dinner first, and Richard’s partner in the production company says he’ll order for me. His wife speaks Chinese to the waiter... and I’m served some sliced beef, mashed potatoes and gravy. I tell Richard that next time I’d rather eat authentic food. I mean, half the fun on traveling is experiencing another world. I eat Chinese food in America, I might as well eat *real* Chinese food in China. I do the preview class and we sign up 6 more people afterwards.
The next day Richard dumps me at a shopping mall (the same everywhere) while he goes to work. I watch 2 Chinese films (both good - a gangster movie and a comedy - I may do tips on them later) and check my e-mail at an internet café. While I’m online I discover a Hong Kong Screenwriting group’s website and e-mail the leader about the class. The next day at the same café, I get return e-mail from the leader of the group... who knows who I am and is very excited that I’m in Hong Kong. Really late notice, but he’ll e-mail everyone in his group. Because the class is only a couple days away, little chance of anyone signing up. I tell Richard about this and he doesn’t seem excited about more people coming. I get the feeling he has only told people he wants to impress about the class. This is strange.
Some interesting things in Hong Kong: The streets are steep and curved and banked and resemble a roller-coaster. Because they were a British colony, the driver sits on the right hand side of the car - every time Richard took me somewhere and I was on what *should be* the driver’s side, it was all I could do to keep my feet from hitting the brakes (that weren’t there) - so it was really like riding in the first car of a roller coaster! A roller coaster with hundreds of other cars that aren’t attached to yours.
And the streets are filled with millions of red taxi cabs. All of the taxis in Hong Kong are red, and sometimes it looks like blood flowing through the veins of the city.
Richard has an “Octopus Pass” which is like a Mobil Speed Pass that’s good for everything you can imagine, from toll roads to parking garages to buses and trains. It’s such a cool idea, you wonder why they don’t have something like that here - an everything card.
Thursday night I tell Richard I want to go to dinner someplace where there are no tourists. He takes me to the other side of Hong Kong where there’s a beach resort. Chinese surfers. A bunch of outdoor restaurants. We had a good meal of seafood Chinese food - seafood fried rice and sweet & sour fish and stuff. Everyone else in the restaurant was Chinese - on vacation. The restaurant had a dog who guarded the place. Kind of weird - the dog let us past and let most other people past but barked at one guy and wouldn’t let him near the outdoor tables. I wonder why? Anyway, it was a great meal and experience. I’d been carrying my cell phone with me and snapping pictures with it - no signal in Denmark or Hong Kong - but walking along the beach after dinner... I got a signal! Weird! I tried calling a number, and got a Chinese operator saying something I didn’t understand. I figure the frequencies that Verizon uses in the USA are used by some Chinese company, too. By the way, the surfer thing was kind of strange - you think of surfers as Southern Californian or Hawaiian, not Chinese. These guys looked and surfed just like anyone else.
On the way back we stopped at this tourist turn around overlooking the city - there was a photo map of the city identifying all of the buildings. Cool seeing the city at night. While we were there, a car pulls up and these two guys jump out and set up a digital camera and photo printer. A few minutes later, a tour bus stops at the turn around and all of the tourists crowd the observation area... and the two guys with the camera jump into action selling pictures of you with the city behind you. They sell a bunch of pictures, then the tourists climb back on board the bus and it drives away. The two guys count their money, pack the equipment back in their car and drive away. Maybe driving to the next tourist spot.
The next day Richard was going to be in meetings again, so his mother offers to be my tour guide. She’s 87 years old, and speaks better English than Richard. I asked her about that, and she told me that she was actually born of Chinese-American parents in the USA and married a man form China, then moved to his country. Even though she speaks Chinese, English was her first language. Her son Richard was born in China, and English is his second language. Strange, huh?
Friday she’s going to take me on a walking tour of Hong Kong.... and Saturday is my class. I wonder what the turn out is going to be, and wonder what an 87 year old’s walking tour of Hong Kong is like. Probably slow...
Boy was I wrong.
- Bill
Monday, June 05, 2006
The Full Plate
You may wonder why it’s been so long between posts. After returning from Hong Kong (recap coming soon), I had a meeting on a project for Lifetime TV... not just any project, a *horror script* for Lifetime. Women’s issues and decapitations? Yes! I wasn’t even over my Hong Kong jet lag, and I already had a job... plus, I had a contract waiting for me to sign on another horror project, JUST BEFORE DAWN (a zom-rom-com about “space herpes” - the good news is that it makes every woman want to have sex with you, the bad news is that it kills them first). At least JUST BEFORE DAWN is a completed script (actually - it's over a decade old) - but it will eventually go through some production rewrites.
So, I had to write a detailed treatment for the Lifetime project and finish up a piece for Scr(i)pt Magazine and work on my new Audio Classes (most of which are in rough form and really need a major rewrite before I go into the recording booth) and write up some new tips for the website from all of these summer movies I’ve been seeing (saw POSEIDON in Hong Kong - along with 2 really great HK movies)... and now I have a new deadline for another Script Mag article (which will be called SYNCHRONIZED SCREENWRITING)...
And I had to do that pitch panel for the Alameda Writers Group... and in a couple of weeks I’m teaching a class for Scriptwriter’s Network in Los Angeles.
So I’ve been a bit busy. This treatment is late, and I’m already supposed to be working on the screenplay. So what do I decide to do? Spend the weekend at the Fangoria Weekend Of Horrors in Burbank. I’ve gone to the Fango conventions for years - since the old days when we used to sell our DEAD BEAT VIDEOZINEs there - it was the Entertainment Tonight of horror movies. In those days, the event was at the LAX Airport Hilton, now it’s at the Burbank Airport Hilton. We’d spend a year doing interviews with everyone in horror and then spend two days selling the tapes. What’s strange is how many of the people from back then I bumped into over the weekend. The core horror fans and still the core horror fans.
What’s changed is the amount of new fans - the event was sold out, and there were people standing in line in 100+ degree weather waiting for someone to leave so that they could enter (room was at capacity). And many of these new fans are hot goth women. Years ago the convention was 98% guys. Now there is a pretty good mix of male and female - and lots of couples. Horror may not exactly be mainstream, but the fan base is more diverse.
These days I’m not in the vendors’s room selling tapes, I’m just there as a fan. It was cool to see Bob Clark, who made BLACK CHRISTMAS - the film that inspired HALLOWEEN and all of the other slasher pix. Cool to see an entire panel of horror writers including Stephen Susco (THE GRUDGE - his website is linked on mine). And the most exciting guest ended up being Guillermo Del Toro who showed clips from his new film PAN’S LABYRINTH - it looks amazing. As always, Bruce Campbell rocks. After he did a couple hours of funny Q&A, I went to the hotel bar to drink with friends from the Thursday Night Crowd (film folks from my local bar - Residuals) and some other people I know in the biz. After several beers I wondered if I had eaten that day. My friend Jeff said that a group was going to head to Residuals and drink with Bruce Campbell, and since that *is* my neighborhood bar, my buddy Paul (who directed SLAUGHTERHOUSE MASSACRE and DOWN TO THE BONE - now called BLOOD PREDATOR) decided to join them. First, we got a pizza.
At Residuals, it was a packed Saturday night crowd - no one realizing that the guy at the corner table was Ash from the EVIL DEAD movies, Bruce Campbell. We had some beers and listened to Bruce tell even more hysterical stories of working as a low budget star. Then I bumped into my friend Chuck - producer of a bunch of movies including BUBBAHOTEP... who had no idea that Bruce Campbell was on the other side of the bar! Chuck has a new movie coming out on 6/6/6 that stars David Warner from the original OMEN.... directed by my friend Jeff Burr (who made LEATHERFACE: TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 3) called...
STRAIGHT INTO DARKNESS.
It got amazing reviews from the LA Times when it played film festivals - and even got great reviews around the world when it played at a bunch of international festivals (winning a few places). It’s a strange mix of arthouse film and horror about maimed children in WW2 that become revenge seeking commandoes. Kind of SAVING PRIVATE RYAN meets FREAKS. From Universal Home Video.... RENT IT!
Anyway, Chuck and Bruce caught up with each other... then it was time for me to stop drinking and start sleeping so that I could go back to the Fango convention the following morning. So, today I’m a mess.... and still have deadlines up the wazoo (which is painful) and have to finish this treatment so that I can start on the script... and write two pages a day on the new Script Magazine article in order to get it finished by the end of this week, so that I can spend a couple of hours a day *next week* on the new audio classes.
I guess I’ll sleep when I’m dead.
- Bill
So, I had to write a detailed treatment for the Lifetime project and finish up a piece for Scr(i)pt Magazine and work on my new Audio Classes (most of which are in rough form and really need a major rewrite before I go into the recording booth) and write up some new tips for the website from all of these summer movies I’ve been seeing (saw POSEIDON in Hong Kong - along with 2 really great HK movies)... and now I have a new deadline for another Script Mag article (which will be called SYNCHRONIZED SCREENWRITING)...
And I had to do that pitch panel for the Alameda Writers Group... and in a couple of weeks I’m teaching a class for Scriptwriter’s Network in Los Angeles.
So I’ve been a bit busy. This treatment is late, and I’m already supposed to be working on the screenplay. So what do I decide to do? Spend the weekend at the Fangoria Weekend Of Horrors in Burbank. I’ve gone to the Fango conventions for years - since the old days when we used to sell our DEAD BEAT VIDEOZINEs there - it was the Entertainment Tonight of horror movies. In those days, the event was at the LAX Airport Hilton, now it’s at the Burbank Airport Hilton. We’d spend a year doing interviews with everyone in horror and then spend two days selling the tapes. What’s strange is how many of the people from back then I bumped into over the weekend. The core horror fans and still the core horror fans.
What’s changed is the amount of new fans - the event was sold out, and there were people standing in line in 100+ degree weather waiting for someone to leave so that they could enter (room was at capacity). And many of these new fans are hot goth women. Years ago the convention was 98% guys. Now there is a pretty good mix of male and female - and lots of couples. Horror may not exactly be mainstream, but the fan base is more diverse.
These days I’m not in the vendors’s room selling tapes, I’m just there as a fan. It was cool to see Bob Clark, who made BLACK CHRISTMAS - the film that inspired HALLOWEEN and all of the other slasher pix. Cool to see an entire panel of horror writers including Stephen Susco (THE GRUDGE - his website is linked on mine). And the most exciting guest ended up being Guillermo Del Toro who showed clips from his new film PAN’S LABYRINTH - it looks amazing. As always, Bruce Campbell rocks. After he did a couple hours of funny Q&A, I went to the hotel bar to drink with friends from the Thursday Night Crowd (film folks from my local bar - Residuals) and some other people I know in the biz. After several beers I wondered if I had eaten that day. My friend Jeff said that a group was going to head to Residuals and drink with Bruce Campbell, and since that *is* my neighborhood bar, my buddy Paul (who directed SLAUGHTERHOUSE MASSACRE and DOWN TO THE BONE - now called BLOOD PREDATOR) decided to join them. First, we got a pizza.
At Residuals, it was a packed Saturday night crowd - no one realizing that the guy at the corner table was Ash from the EVIL DEAD movies, Bruce Campbell. We had some beers and listened to Bruce tell even more hysterical stories of working as a low budget star. Then I bumped into my friend Chuck - producer of a bunch of movies including BUBBAHOTEP... who had no idea that Bruce Campbell was on the other side of the bar! Chuck has a new movie coming out on 6/6/6 that stars David Warner from the original OMEN.... directed by my friend Jeff Burr (who made LEATHERFACE: TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 3) called...
STRAIGHT INTO DARKNESS.
It got amazing reviews from the LA Times when it played film festivals - and even got great reviews around the world when it played at a bunch of international festivals (winning a few places). It’s a strange mix of arthouse film and horror about maimed children in WW2 that become revenge seeking commandoes. Kind of SAVING PRIVATE RYAN meets FREAKS. From Universal Home Video.... RENT IT!
Anyway, Chuck and Bruce caught up with each other... then it was time for me to stop drinking and start sleeping so that I could go back to the Fango convention the following morning. So, today I’m a mess.... and still have deadlines up the wazoo (which is painful) and have to finish this treatment so that I can start on the script... and write two pages a day on the new Script Magazine article in order to get it finished by the end of this week, so that I can spend a couple of hours a day *next week* on the new audio classes.
I guess I’ll sleep when I’m dead.
- Bill
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Aarhus (part 8) - The Porn Panel
I wake up late, groggy, and probably hung over. When you do events like this, you’re always living on minimum sleep. You usually have to get up early and teach a class... after a big party the night before. Add in the jet lag and there’s always one day where it all catches up and you crash and burn. This was that day... I had just slept through the free breakfast (the only meal I don't have to pay for), so when I stumbled into the lobby in desperate need of coffee (with the restaurant closed until lunch) I ended up at the hotel bar... drinking expensive coffee. Why is it that coffee in a bar is five times more expensive than in a restuarant?
I had one of my surprise consultations today, plus I would be on “the big panel” with the head of the Danish Film Ministry and a major distrib from Denmark as well as a couple of other VIPs. I would be the sole creative person on the panel... and I hope I would be awake enough to make a contribution. I was drinking gallons of coffee and it didn’t seem to be doing much.
I finally reached a point where my blood was about 85% coffee and could *almost* think and speak... which was good because I had a consult.
The consultation was with a guy from Greece who had taken the class, and he started out by telling me that my class had really answered all of his main questions, but he wanted to talk with me about his story idea - especially the ending. His story was from a personal event in his life - his father becoming too old to drive, yet still driving. A good basis for a story because it’s emotional, yet has lots of room for comic adventures. We talked over the end - and I gave him the feel-good Hollywood ending idea... that he probably won’t use. That’s okay, it’s his story and he knows what works in Greek Cinema much better than I do. I also came up with a non-Hollywood ending suggestion... partly because he wanted to jump from comedy to tragedy at the end, and I didn’t think that was a good idea. I liked this story - and want to see how it turns out (he’s making it himself).
The consultation ended with enough time for me to walk briskly to a cinema and see a program of shorts. Hey! I get to see movies! Cool! I've seen so few movies at this festival due to the surprise consults, etc... and the ones I have seen have been iffy at best.
I actually bump into a group of filmmakers on my way to the cinema, one has a film in the program... the most vocal member of my class. This should be interesting....
The shorts program was called POWER OF THE SURREAL and was the typical hit and miss mix... but the “hits” were the best things I saw at the film festival. The standout was THE DEATH OF SALVADORE DALI - where Dali seeks help from Sigmund Freud... in a story that plays like a Dali painting - strange and yet familiar. Even in my groggy state, I laughed outloud several times watching the film.
The short by my vocal student was a 10 minute opera that didn’t seem to have a story - just a bunch of great production design and costumes. So much for that "story by instinct" theory. Afterwards, they wanted to know how much I loved it. “Well, it had great costumes.” They didn’t like that answer and continued to ask how much I loved it. Did I love this part and that part and....
I decided to change the subject with a question about the Filmmaker’s Party. Seems it was crowded. I mentioned that I went to the party of stairs.... and they said that apartment is where some of the filmmakers were staying. You know why they had so many filmmakers at the festival? They paid for travel and lodging! I have not been reimbursed for my airplane ticket, train ticket, taxi, let alone all of my daily expenses... let alone my fee for teaching the class. This event is costing me *thousands* and I didn’t even have enough people in my class to make up for it by selling *one* class on CD. I sure hope they have check waiting for me when I leave...
But I’m not holding my breath.
After the shorts, I had a brisk walk back to the hotel to drink some more coffee and prepare for the panel... where Marina introduces me to some of my fellow panelists. I had coffee with the Film Ministry guy and the distributor guy. Both were suits. The Film Minister dude was a politician rather than a film maker - I wondered how he was going to go over with this *very* artsie anti-commercial, anti-rules, anti-anything-that-is-not-pure-self-expression film crowd.
This is the last panel discussion of the festival, and *nothing* is scheduled opposite it. No films are showing, no classes, no consultations. It’s just the panel. And it’s an all-star panel (except for me). So I expect this to be standing room only when I enter the room along with the other panelists. But there were maybe a dozen people in the audience. That’s all? The other panelists - much more important than myself - seemed disappointed. I wondered if the poor turn out meant that the Film Makers Party the night before was one I shouldn’t have missed - maybe all of those folks are still sleeping?
So we start with introductions, then the Film Ministry guy talks about Denmark’s film funding program. Like most non-USA countries, the government actually funds films as part of an arts program. An American film maker asked if she could get the money... and the answer was no. The money is only for Danish film makers. Oddly, she got mad at this and begins arguing with the Film Minister guy.... Hey, if someone’s giving away money, they get to decide who to give it to. After that, the Film Ministry dude dropped the bomb-shell.
Danish film aren’t doing very well outside of Denmark, so they were looking to fund more *commercial* films that will actually earn money, rather than films that are only art pieces or have no audience outside of Denmark. I think all of the dozen people in the audience felt as if they were slapped in the face. One of them decided to argue with “So, you’re saying we should just make porn?”
And got an unusual answer from the up-tight Film Ministry guy.
He took the question seriously... and answered that Danish porn had been very popular in the past, and had brought a great deal of money and even prestige to the Danish film industry. There was a time when Danish porn was seen worldwide - and the Ministry would not be opposed to funding porn. If the film makers had some porn film projects they should definitely submit them for consideration. His door is always open to porn.
The distrib guy chimed in that sex is still an element that sells, and they would consider any erotic films submitted to them. Yikes! Next thing you know, the panel is talking about how great porn is, and the dozen overly serious filmmakers in the audience are shocked and puzzled... as I am. I thought we were going to talk about film financing and distribution... but we’re talking about porn.
Myself and a couple of the others on the panel try to steer us back on course with discussion of film festivals or *other* genres that might be of interest to the Danish Film Ministry...
But every time we get back on course someone in the audience comes up with some smart-alec question like “Gay porn or straight porn?” And they get an actual detailed answer about financial returns on various different erotic subgenres just as if we were discussing non-porn films. The whole panel has skidded off the rails into a *business* discussion of various physical acts you might find in a porn film. And which of these physical acts provides the best financial return. It’s more surreal than any of the short films I saw earlier.
I chime in with my usual advice that your personal story can be told in a commercial form that satisfies both the artist and the audience... even the porn audience. I get a laugh... but we seem to stay on the subject of porn until the panel is over. This could have been a discussion of what’s required to get funding from the Danish government, but the overly-artsie audience completely rejects the idea of commercialism - it’s all porn to them. And, well, porn seems to sell. This is the strangest discussion of film I have ever had in my life... But I don’t think the audience heard what they wanted to hear at all. Heck, they were angry at the *commercial* aspect, let alone the *porn* part!
And here is the strangest thing about film festivals - it’s the place where art and commerce collide. Because you have a bunch of artsie-fartsie filmmakers whose completely anti-commercial films are being screened... for a paying audience. The film festival wants to be cutting edge, but they also want to sell tickets. I think this is where Elliot at Raindance is a scheduling genius - he screens a good mix of films at his festival. And he also selects *films* that are good mix - when I was there a couple of years ago I saw a US indie film called SURVIVAL TRAINING FOR GIRLS which was both a thriller and a coming of age film - and the two mixed really well. The folks at the porn panel would have seen it as a serious art house coming of age film, but folks off the street could see it as a tense thriller. That’s the kind of film that I think the Danish Film Ministry might want to fund... but we spent a couple of hours talking about Danish sex positions (and there is Danish Position, by the way - the things you learn at film festivals!).
After the porn panel, I find Marina and ask about my check: Airplane ticket, train and other travel expenses, and my class... I'm not going to be paid for all of those surprise consultations. She tells me with all of the festival stuff, she won’t be able to get to the bank before I leave... so could I leave her my banking info so that they can wire me the money? Sure. I’ve heard that one before. I’m never going to see a cent.
That night there’s one last party. It’s in this bar near the Slaughterhouse Cinema, and the bar looks like it might have been an apartment at one point in time - it’s this shotgun set up - a handful of rooms with connecting doorways. The bar itself is in the center room (the largest) and the other rooms are like little private rooms. Tables and chairs in the first room, then the bar, then a room filled with sofas. There are a couple of plates of food in the bar room, and I heard a rumor that some drink was free, but it wasn’t what I ordered (local beer). All of the film makers are there, as well as the jury. I finally get to talk to many of the filmmakers I hadn’t met, yet. Bought a round, someone else bought a round, next thing you know we’re all drunk and talking film.
And I’m in heaven.
After days of not seeing enough films and doing too many side things, I’m arguing with some Italian filmmaker about Kubrick’s best film. I think it’s PATHS OF GLORY, he thinks it’s BARRY LYNDON... and we’ve both seen all the films and can passionately make the point for each of our cases. That’s the great thing about film - it’s a popular medium. Someone on the other side of the world has seen the same films that I’ve seen. And even if I think BARRY LYNDON is a great movie about boredom... that is boring in the process... I can understand this Italian fellow’s passion. I have the same passion about some other movie. Films touch us. Make us feel and think and sometimes have a life altering effect on us.
I’m on beer # I don’t know, discussing the movies that made us want to make movies with a group of filmmakers from every continent, and I check the time... realizing that it’s late and I have to get up at dawn in order to catch the 4 hour train ride back to Copenhagen so I can hang around at the airport for 3 hours before that really long flight home. Just when I’m really enjoying myself, I have to call it a night. I say goodbye to my new friends, tell many of them that I hope to catch their films at the next festival, and leave the bar....
I do that long walk back to the hotel, stopping at a 7-11 for a slice of pizza (I had a couple of crackers and some veggies at the bar... but that wasn’t quite a meal), entered my room, set the alarm, and fell asleep. The alarm went off a couple hours later, I packed, checked out... and headed home.
In Los Angeles, after another close to 24 hours of being awake and traveling, I get back to my apartment, take a shower, go to bed at 2am... and wake up at 8.
8? That’s only 6 freaking hours of sleep!
Until I realize that it’s 8 at night - I have slept through an entire day! It takes me about a week to get re-acclimated to the Pacific Time Zone... which means I’ve spent about 2.5 weeks prepping for the Festival, at the Festival, and recovering from the Festival. They eventually paid me for my airplane ticket, but never paid for my train ticket or taxi or for teaching my class... or any of my expenses. Marina e-mails me that the festival wasn’t as successful as they had hoped, and the reimbursement for my airplane ticket is coming out of her pocket. But the good news is that the Danish Film guys are happy with the way it went, so would I be interested in coming back next year?
Well, would I, punk?
- Bill
I had one of my surprise consultations today, plus I would be on “the big panel” with the head of the Danish Film Ministry and a major distrib from Denmark as well as a couple of other VIPs. I would be the sole creative person on the panel... and I hope I would be awake enough to make a contribution. I was drinking gallons of coffee and it didn’t seem to be doing much.
I finally reached a point where my blood was about 85% coffee and could *almost* think and speak... which was good because I had a consult.
The consultation was with a guy from Greece who had taken the class, and he started out by telling me that my class had really answered all of his main questions, but he wanted to talk with me about his story idea - especially the ending. His story was from a personal event in his life - his father becoming too old to drive, yet still driving. A good basis for a story because it’s emotional, yet has lots of room for comic adventures. We talked over the end - and I gave him the feel-good Hollywood ending idea... that he probably won’t use. That’s okay, it’s his story and he knows what works in Greek Cinema much better than I do. I also came up with a non-Hollywood ending suggestion... partly because he wanted to jump from comedy to tragedy at the end, and I didn’t think that was a good idea. I liked this story - and want to see how it turns out (he’s making it himself).
The consultation ended with enough time for me to walk briskly to a cinema and see a program of shorts. Hey! I get to see movies! Cool! I've seen so few movies at this festival due to the surprise consults, etc... and the ones I have seen have been iffy at best.
I actually bump into a group of filmmakers on my way to the cinema, one has a film in the program... the most vocal member of my class. This should be interesting....
The shorts program was called POWER OF THE SURREAL and was the typical hit and miss mix... but the “hits” were the best things I saw at the film festival. The standout was THE DEATH OF SALVADORE DALI - where Dali seeks help from Sigmund Freud... in a story that plays like a Dali painting - strange and yet familiar. Even in my groggy state, I laughed outloud several times watching the film.
The short by my vocal student was a 10 minute opera that didn’t seem to have a story - just a bunch of great production design and costumes. So much for that "story by instinct" theory. Afterwards, they wanted to know how much I loved it. “Well, it had great costumes.” They didn’t like that answer and continued to ask how much I loved it. Did I love this part and that part and....
I decided to change the subject with a question about the Filmmaker’s Party. Seems it was crowded. I mentioned that I went to the party of stairs.... and they said that apartment is where some of the filmmakers were staying. You know why they had so many filmmakers at the festival? They paid for travel and lodging! I have not been reimbursed for my airplane ticket, train ticket, taxi, let alone all of my daily expenses... let alone my fee for teaching the class. This event is costing me *thousands* and I didn’t even have enough people in my class to make up for it by selling *one* class on CD. I sure hope they have check waiting for me when I leave...
But I’m not holding my breath.
After the shorts, I had a brisk walk back to the hotel to drink some more coffee and prepare for the panel... where Marina introduces me to some of my fellow panelists. I had coffee with the Film Ministry guy and the distributor guy. Both were suits. The Film Minister dude was a politician rather than a film maker - I wondered how he was going to go over with this *very* artsie anti-commercial, anti-rules, anti-anything-that-is-not-pure-self-expression film crowd.
This is the last panel discussion of the festival, and *nothing* is scheduled opposite it. No films are showing, no classes, no consultations. It’s just the panel. And it’s an all-star panel (except for me). So I expect this to be standing room only when I enter the room along with the other panelists. But there were maybe a dozen people in the audience. That’s all? The other panelists - much more important than myself - seemed disappointed. I wondered if the poor turn out meant that the Film Makers Party the night before was one I shouldn’t have missed - maybe all of those folks are still sleeping?
So we start with introductions, then the Film Ministry guy talks about Denmark’s film funding program. Like most non-USA countries, the government actually funds films as part of an arts program. An American film maker asked if she could get the money... and the answer was no. The money is only for Danish film makers. Oddly, she got mad at this and begins arguing with the Film Minister guy.... Hey, if someone’s giving away money, they get to decide who to give it to. After that, the Film Ministry dude dropped the bomb-shell.
Danish film aren’t doing very well outside of Denmark, so they were looking to fund more *commercial* films that will actually earn money, rather than films that are only art pieces or have no audience outside of Denmark. I think all of the dozen people in the audience felt as if they were slapped in the face. One of them decided to argue with “So, you’re saying we should just make porn?”
And got an unusual answer from the up-tight Film Ministry guy.
He took the question seriously... and answered that Danish porn had been very popular in the past, and had brought a great deal of money and even prestige to the Danish film industry. There was a time when Danish porn was seen worldwide - and the Ministry would not be opposed to funding porn. If the film makers had some porn film projects they should definitely submit them for consideration. His door is always open to porn.
The distrib guy chimed in that sex is still an element that sells, and they would consider any erotic films submitted to them. Yikes! Next thing you know, the panel is talking about how great porn is, and the dozen overly serious filmmakers in the audience are shocked and puzzled... as I am. I thought we were going to talk about film financing and distribution... but we’re talking about porn.
Myself and a couple of the others on the panel try to steer us back on course with discussion of film festivals or *other* genres that might be of interest to the Danish Film Ministry...
But every time we get back on course someone in the audience comes up with some smart-alec question like “Gay porn or straight porn?” And they get an actual detailed answer about financial returns on various different erotic subgenres just as if we were discussing non-porn films. The whole panel has skidded off the rails into a *business* discussion of various physical acts you might find in a porn film. And which of these physical acts provides the best financial return. It’s more surreal than any of the short films I saw earlier.
I chime in with my usual advice that your personal story can be told in a commercial form that satisfies both the artist and the audience... even the porn audience. I get a laugh... but we seem to stay on the subject of porn until the panel is over. This could have been a discussion of what’s required to get funding from the Danish government, but the overly-artsie audience completely rejects the idea of commercialism - it’s all porn to them. And, well, porn seems to sell. This is the strangest discussion of film I have ever had in my life... But I don’t think the audience heard what they wanted to hear at all. Heck, they were angry at the *commercial* aspect, let alone the *porn* part!
And here is the strangest thing about film festivals - it’s the place where art and commerce collide. Because you have a bunch of artsie-fartsie filmmakers whose completely anti-commercial films are being screened... for a paying audience. The film festival wants to be cutting edge, but they also want to sell tickets. I think this is where Elliot at Raindance is a scheduling genius - he screens a good mix of films at his festival. And he also selects *films* that are good mix - when I was there a couple of years ago I saw a US indie film called SURVIVAL TRAINING FOR GIRLS which was both a thriller and a coming of age film - and the two mixed really well. The folks at the porn panel would have seen it as a serious art house coming of age film, but folks off the street could see it as a tense thriller. That’s the kind of film that I think the Danish Film Ministry might want to fund... but we spent a couple of hours talking about Danish sex positions (and there is Danish Position, by the way - the things you learn at film festivals!).
After the porn panel, I find Marina and ask about my check: Airplane ticket, train and other travel expenses, and my class... I'm not going to be paid for all of those surprise consultations. She tells me with all of the festival stuff, she won’t be able to get to the bank before I leave... so could I leave her my banking info so that they can wire me the money? Sure. I’ve heard that one before. I’m never going to see a cent.
That night there’s one last party. It’s in this bar near the Slaughterhouse Cinema, and the bar looks like it might have been an apartment at one point in time - it’s this shotgun set up - a handful of rooms with connecting doorways. The bar itself is in the center room (the largest) and the other rooms are like little private rooms. Tables and chairs in the first room, then the bar, then a room filled with sofas. There are a couple of plates of food in the bar room, and I heard a rumor that some drink was free, but it wasn’t what I ordered (local beer). All of the film makers are there, as well as the jury. I finally get to talk to many of the filmmakers I hadn’t met, yet. Bought a round, someone else bought a round, next thing you know we’re all drunk and talking film.
And I’m in heaven.
After days of not seeing enough films and doing too many side things, I’m arguing with some Italian filmmaker about Kubrick’s best film. I think it’s PATHS OF GLORY, he thinks it’s BARRY LYNDON... and we’ve both seen all the films and can passionately make the point for each of our cases. That’s the great thing about film - it’s a popular medium. Someone on the other side of the world has seen the same films that I’ve seen. And even if I think BARRY LYNDON is a great movie about boredom... that is boring in the process... I can understand this Italian fellow’s passion. I have the same passion about some other movie. Films touch us. Make us feel and think and sometimes have a life altering effect on us.
I’m on beer # I don’t know, discussing the movies that made us want to make movies with a group of filmmakers from every continent, and I check the time... realizing that it’s late and I have to get up at dawn in order to catch the 4 hour train ride back to Copenhagen so I can hang around at the airport for 3 hours before that really long flight home. Just when I’m really enjoying myself, I have to call it a night. I say goodbye to my new friends, tell many of them that I hope to catch their films at the next festival, and leave the bar....
I do that long walk back to the hotel, stopping at a 7-11 for a slice of pizza (I had a couple of crackers and some veggies at the bar... but that wasn’t quite a meal), entered my room, set the alarm, and fell asleep. The alarm went off a couple hours later, I packed, checked out... and headed home.
In Los Angeles, after another close to 24 hours of being awake and traveling, I get back to my apartment, take a shower, go to bed at 2am... and wake up at 8.
8? That’s only 6 freaking hours of sleep!
Until I realize that it’s 8 at night - I have slept through an entire day! It takes me about a week to get re-acclimated to the Pacific Time Zone... which means I’ve spent about 2.5 weeks prepping for the Festival, at the Festival, and recovering from the Festival. They eventually paid me for my airplane ticket, but never paid for my train ticket or taxi or for teaching my class... or any of my expenses. Marina e-mails me that the festival wasn’t as successful as they had hoped, and the reimbursement for my airplane ticket is coming out of her pocket. But the good news is that the Danish Film guys are happy with the way it went, so would I be interested in coming back next year?
Well, would I, punk?
- Bill
Aarhus (part 7) - Party Of Stairs
Not *stars*, but *stairs*.
Downstairs we all come together - I’m a little bit confused that the film festival jury is invited to the Filmmakers Party, isn’t there a conflict of interest there somewhere? I mean, what if one filmmaker decides to buy all of the judges drinks... wouldn’t that sway their decision? Well, maybe these jury members have already made their decision. I know the times I’ve been on the Raindance Film Festival jury in London most of the other jurors saw the films on DVD instead of in the cinema, so maybe the jury already has picked a winner? But that brings up a different problem - what if one of the jury members gets drunk and spills the beans? What if they accidentally announce the winner when the festival is only half over?
I should be excited to meet all of the film makers, but instead I’m worried that the jury members are going to the party, too. The coolest thing about the festival so far is that Marina (fest director) has told me they have something like 40 film makers at the festival - too bad they seem to only be going to their own movies. I’d love to talk with them - no matter how bad the films seem to be, these folks actually worked their butts off to make the movies. They had a passion for that story and just had to tell it. My best times at film festivals are when I get to meet or hang out with the film makers. At Raindance I’ve hung out with the makers of the comedy film DON’T ASK DON’T TELL where they took a 1950s alien invasion movie and turned it into a comedy about aliens with a Gay ray. At Temecula I met the guys who made KILLING MICHAEL BAY and have since had many beers with them when they were in town. I bumped into the crazy Canucks who made JESUS CHRIST: VAMPIRE HUNTER when they were in LA a few months ago setting up their new film BLACK KISSINGER. So I really look forward to meeting these 40 film makers, even though I really haven’t had any free time to see movies since I’ve been here.
We all pile in a couple of taxis and drive to the far side of town near the docks - about a 35 minute walk from the hotel. The taxis pull up next to a building overlooking a bunch of crane equipment and we all get out. This isn’t a bar or restaurant or night club, this is a *very tall* apartment building.
Marina leads us through a gate to the building’s front door, which she unlocks.
Behind the door is a stairway, which Marina starts up. This is a very narrow, very steep stairway. Almost a ladder.
We climb a couple of flights and I’m getting winded... One of the guys on the jury, the college film prof, isn’t young - and he’s lagging a bit behind.
We climb a few more flights - will these stairs ever end? We've climbed a dozen flights so far and we haven't reached wherever this darned party is. I wonder how many more flights we have to climb when we come to the end of the stairs and a locked door. Finally!
Marina unlocks the door and beyond it - more stairs.
More stairs? I almost break down. Is this some Danish form of torture? "You will continue to climb stairs until we break you!"
We start climbing flight after steep and narrow flight, and it’s explained to me that these are the ritzy luxury apartments.
Apartments? I thought we were going to a party? I know this isn’t Marina’s apartment - I went there on my $500 kroner cab ride on the day I arrived. So whose apartment is this, and why are we going there?
We keep climbing flight after flight of stairs - passing doors to the other luxury apartments. By now I’m sweating like crazy and can barely catch my breath. When we get to the end of the stairs and another locked door, I know that if Marina unlocks it and there are more stairs - I’m going to have a heart attack. My heart is pounding so hard right now that it’s going to burst out of my chest like that thing in ALIEN.
Marina unlocks the door and....
More stairs!
But just one steep narrow fight leading up to the penthouse living room. A beautiful view and a sofa to collapse on. "Would anyone like a drink?" "Water for me - bring a pitcher." They don't understand the joke.
The strange thing is that there are no film makers here. It’s only us, and a couple of guys in the kitchen and Siggy. I ask if the film makers are coming and Marina says they’ve decided to fix us a special dinner instead of having us just go to the bar where the film makers are.
Okay.
So we have a few drinks while the two guys are preparing dinner, and talk about movies and stories and all sorts of other things. The jury members and the other guest speakers and panelists are great people - all passionate about movies. We all like different kinds of movies, but the cool thing about film folks is that we all have certain films in common. In Denmark you can discuss TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE and everyone has seen it.
Dinner is served and it’s... interesting. You see, they’ve gone all out to impress us, so we’re getting a meal of amazing delicacies. There’s coconut and limes. Of course, those are delicacies in Denmark. In Los Angeles there’s a guy with a pick up truck serving fresh coconuts on the street every Sunday afternoon to the Mexican families when they get out of church. And there are guys selling bags of limes on the freeway onramp, as well as guys selling lemons and guys selling oranges. But I pretend to be impressed and eat all of the “exotic” foods. The meal is actually really good and I had a good time even though there were no film makers. I found out the penthouse was owned by one of the festival’s patrons - it’s usually vacant, place for visiting businessmen to stay.
They keep filling my wine glass throughout the night, and I’m getting hammered. As it gets closer to midnight, I realize I’d better get going. I have my postponed consultations tomorrow morning, plus a panel on making Indie Films, plus I’d like to see a couple more movies. Others are saying goodnight, so I join the exodus....
Drunk.
Climbing down that very narrow and very steep never ending staircase. A couple of times I almost trip. I imagine falling down those stairs. I know Chuck Waters, the stuntman who did that big stair roll at the end of THE EXORCIST. The day after doing that stunt he flew to Seattle to fall off the top of the Space Needle for PARALLAX VIEW. Chuck is amazing - still doing stunts at... well, he’s had his AARP card for a while. I am not a stunt man, and rolling down this steep narrow staircase would kill me.
I get to the bottom unharmed and must walk the 35 minutes back to the hotel. I’m exhausted and drunk and alone in 30' weather on dark cobble stone streets. It seems to take me forever to get back to the hotel. I set my alarm and fall into bed. Sleep envelops me.
Tomorrow is my last full day at the festival. Hopefully, I’ll get to see some movies.
- Bill
Downstairs we all come together - I’m a little bit confused that the film festival jury is invited to the Filmmakers Party, isn’t there a conflict of interest there somewhere? I mean, what if one filmmaker decides to buy all of the judges drinks... wouldn’t that sway their decision? Well, maybe these jury members have already made their decision. I know the times I’ve been on the Raindance Film Festival jury in London most of the other jurors saw the films on DVD instead of in the cinema, so maybe the jury already has picked a winner? But that brings up a different problem - what if one of the jury members gets drunk and spills the beans? What if they accidentally announce the winner when the festival is only half over?
I should be excited to meet all of the film makers, but instead I’m worried that the jury members are going to the party, too. The coolest thing about the festival so far is that Marina (fest director) has told me they have something like 40 film makers at the festival - too bad they seem to only be going to their own movies. I’d love to talk with them - no matter how bad the films seem to be, these folks actually worked their butts off to make the movies. They had a passion for that story and just had to tell it. My best times at film festivals are when I get to meet or hang out with the film makers. At Raindance I’ve hung out with the makers of the comedy film DON’T ASK DON’T TELL where they took a 1950s alien invasion movie and turned it into a comedy about aliens with a Gay ray. At Temecula I met the guys who made KILLING MICHAEL BAY and have since had many beers with them when they were in town. I bumped into the crazy Canucks who made JESUS CHRIST: VAMPIRE HUNTER when they were in LA a few months ago setting up their new film BLACK KISSINGER. So I really look forward to meeting these 40 film makers, even though I really haven’t had any free time to see movies since I’ve been here.
We all pile in a couple of taxis and drive to the far side of town near the docks - about a 35 minute walk from the hotel. The taxis pull up next to a building overlooking a bunch of crane equipment and we all get out. This isn’t a bar or restaurant or night club, this is a *very tall* apartment building.
Marina leads us through a gate to the building’s front door, which she unlocks.
Behind the door is a stairway, which Marina starts up. This is a very narrow, very steep stairway. Almost a ladder.
We climb a couple of flights and I’m getting winded... One of the guys on the jury, the college film prof, isn’t young - and he’s lagging a bit behind.
We climb a few more flights - will these stairs ever end? We've climbed a dozen flights so far and we haven't reached wherever this darned party is. I wonder how many more flights we have to climb when we come to the end of the stairs and a locked door. Finally!
Marina unlocks the door and beyond it - more stairs.
More stairs? I almost break down. Is this some Danish form of torture? "You will continue to climb stairs until we break you!"
We start climbing flight after steep and narrow flight, and it’s explained to me that these are the ritzy luxury apartments.
Apartments? I thought we were going to a party? I know this isn’t Marina’s apartment - I went there on my $500 kroner cab ride on the day I arrived. So whose apartment is this, and why are we going there?
We keep climbing flight after flight of stairs - passing doors to the other luxury apartments. By now I’m sweating like crazy and can barely catch my breath. When we get to the end of the stairs and another locked door, I know that if Marina unlocks it and there are more stairs - I’m going to have a heart attack. My heart is pounding so hard right now that it’s going to burst out of my chest like that thing in ALIEN.
Marina unlocks the door and....
More stairs!
But just one steep narrow fight leading up to the penthouse living room. A beautiful view and a sofa to collapse on. "Would anyone like a drink?" "Water for me - bring a pitcher." They don't understand the joke.
The strange thing is that there are no film makers here. It’s only us, and a couple of guys in the kitchen and Siggy. I ask if the film makers are coming and Marina says they’ve decided to fix us a special dinner instead of having us just go to the bar where the film makers are.
Okay.
So we have a few drinks while the two guys are preparing dinner, and talk about movies and stories and all sorts of other things. The jury members and the other guest speakers and panelists are great people - all passionate about movies. We all like different kinds of movies, but the cool thing about film folks is that we all have certain films in common. In Denmark you can discuss TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE and everyone has seen it.
Dinner is served and it’s... interesting. You see, they’ve gone all out to impress us, so we’re getting a meal of amazing delicacies. There’s coconut and limes. Of course, those are delicacies in Denmark. In Los Angeles there’s a guy with a pick up truck serving fresh coconuts on the street every Sunday afternoon to the Mexican families when they get out of church. And there are guys selling bags of limes on the freeway onramp, as well as guys selling lemons and guys selling oranges. But I pretend to be impressed and eat all of the “exotic” foods. The meal is actually really good and I had a good time even though there were no film makers. I found out the penthouse was owned by one of the festival’s patrons - it’s usually vacant, place for visiting businessmen to stay.
They keep filling my wine glass throughout the night, and I’m getting hammered. As it gets closer to midnight, I realize I’d better get going. I have my postponed consultations tomorrow morning, plus a panel on making Indie Films, plus I’d like to see a couple more movies. Others are saying goodnight, so I join the exodus....
Drunk.
Climbing down that very narrow and very steep never ending staircase. A couple of times I almost trip. I imagine falling down those stairs. I know Chuck Waters, the stuntman who did that big stair roll at the end of THE EXORCIST. The day after doing that stunt he flew to Seattle to fall off the top of the Space Needle for PARALLAX VIEW. Chuck is amazing - still doing stunts at... well, he’s had his AARP card for a while. I am not a stunt man, and rolling down this steep narrow staircase would kill me.
I get to the bottom unharmed and must walk the 35 minutes back to the hotel. I’m exhausted and drunk and alone in 30' weather on dark cobble stone streets. It seems to take me forever to get back to the hotel. I set my alarm and fall into bed. Sleep envelops me.
Tomorrow is my last full day at the festival. Hopefully, I’ll get to see some movies.
- Bill
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Aarhus Film Fest (part 6)
CLASS OR TUTOR?
In Los Angeles, I usually wake up around 10am - sometimes as late as noon (if I closed the bar the night before). When ever I teach a class, it usually starts at 9 or 10am, so I have to get up earlier... usually by sacrificing some sleep. My class in Aarhus begins at 8:30, which means I’m up at 7am. Add the jet lag to all of this and I’m seriously in need of coffee. I go downstairs to the restaurant and grab some breakfast, tell the waiter I’d like a carafe of coffee... and he gets side tracked with other people. By the time I get my coffee I have time for one cup before the class.
I never set out to teach classes. I only wanted to write screenplays and make films. But afer my book came out I got a couple of phone calls, one from the Santa Fe Screenwriting Conference and one from the Raindance Film Festival. Both with similar offers, but Raindance’s was best. They asked if I would like to come to London and teach screenwritng. I told them I don’t teach screenwriting, I just write scripts. They’d read my book and my articles in Scr(i)pt Magazine and I was teaching on paper, why not do it in person? Well, I’m kind of a writer... you know, shy, not good at public speaking... I turn into Albert Brooks in BROADCAST NEWS when I have to speak in public. Well, maybe teaching a class would help me deal with that? They would pay my airfare, my hotel, a flat rate for the class, buy meals *and* buy my drinks. "You’re going to buy my drinks?" "Sure." "Okay, I’m there." So, whenever anyone cals or e-mails me about teaching screenwriting, I usually go. I don’t *look* for any of these gigs, I don’t advertize or e-mail film festivals or anything like that... They have to find me. I don’t know how Aarhus found me, but they did.
Just as the audience for each screening seems to be a handful of people, the turn out for my class was handful of people. I think this is he fewest people who have ever shown up for my class.
The thing I have learned about classes - the fewer people, the more vocal that one person who wants to take over the class will be. When I’m in the big room at Expo and have 300-500 people listening to me, everyone is very well mannered and listens to the class. No one would ever think about trying to steer the class to whatever they want to talk about. When I’m in a smaller room a Expo or at Raindance or some other event and I have 100 people, that one person keeps raising their hand (or - more likely - just butts in) and asks questions about their personal script or wants to debate some point that really doesn’t matter. I’ve had times when I’m doing my class for 50 people, when that person becomes even more vocal and interrupts a couple of times an hour with some comment that has nothing to do with the class or a question designed to take us so far off track that we are now talking about their script instead of scriptwriting in general. I think this is rude to the other 49 people in the class and try to nip it in the bud... almost never works. No matter how politely I ask to hold questions until the end of a segment or to please phrase questions so they are about general screenwriting not about your script, these interrupters usually continue. Some actually increase their interruptions. I’ve had times where students try to take over the class by just standing up and talking about whatever *they* want to talk about. They seem to have no regard at all for the other 49 class members - they want to be the star and the center of attention.
So imagine what happens in a class of 8 people.
With 8 people, you don’t have a group, you have 8 individuals. Everyone sees themselves as an individual, rather than a member of the class. And that one person in every class? They think they are having a dialogue with you that the other 7 are listening to. I’m in a difficult position, because I kind of represent the film festival, and this person has paid to take the class. So I can’t just tell them to shut up or kick them out of the class. I have to be diplomatic and subtle... and subtle never works with these people. So my class got steered so far off course that I have to skip whole sections and constantly fight to get us back on course.
The worst part about these folks: their ego is so massive that they believe they know more than anyone else... but from their discussions it’s obvious that they don’t even know the basics... and they are often so pushy they get their scripts places I would be afraid to try with mine. Result: people in power read this crap and build even higher walls. Or they push their way into getting a film made, and wonder why it gets bad reviews or no distribution at all. Have you seen the movie OVERNIGHT about the guy behind BOONDOCK SAINTS? Mandatory viewing! Don't let your ego get in the way of your judgement. Listen to others sometimes and actually consider what they are saying. They might be right. If I have time at events like this, I like to sit in on someone else's class to get a "second opinion" and maybe learn something I didn't know. There's too much to know - you can never know it all.
So I finally get to the end of my class and end up giving away a class on CD to every member of the class (all 8) because with 8 students, odds of selling any aren’t good and I don’t want to drag all of those CDs home with me. Damned things get heavy after a while.
I’m also concerned that the turn out may create problems when it comes time to reimburse me for my airplane ticket, train ticket, and pay me for teaching the class. These things are contracted, but if they don’t pay me I think I’d have to sue them in Danish court (and that would cost more than I’m owed). This happens every once in a while - I’m still owed money from the last Las Vegas Conference, even though I went out of my way to teach a special one day class when the folks who were supposed to teach that day didn’t show (or maybe were cancelled because there wasn’t enough money for their hotel room). If anyone thinks I’m making loads of money doing this, think again. I may have just paid to visit Denmark out of my own pocket... and spent 90% of my time in that country teaching classes and doing panels and consultations instead of sight seeing.
After ten hours of talking, my voice is ragged and I want to sleep.
I retire to my room for a half hour before the party starts, and finish up yesterday’s blog entry. Then the phone rings - Marina from the lobby. They are getting a taxi to take us to the party in ten minutes, can I come down now? Sure. I don’t have to walk 20-25 minutes after a very long day of teaching.
- Bill
In Los Angeles, I usually wake up around 10am - sometimes as late as noon (if I closed the bar the night before). When ever I teach a class, it usually starts at 9 or 10am, so I have to get up earlier... usually by sacrificing some sleep. My class in Aarhus begins at 8:30, which means I’m up at 7am. Add the jet lag to all of this and I’m seriously in need of coffee. I go downstairs to the restaurant and grab some breakfast, tell the waiter I’d like a carafe of coffee... and he gets side tracked with other people. By the time I get my coffee I have time for one cup before the class.
I never set out to teach classes. I only wanted to write screenplays and make films. But afer my book came out I got a couple of phone calls, one from the Santa Fe Screenwriting Conference and one from the Raindance Film Festival. Both with similar offers, but Raindance’s was best. They asked if I would like to come to London and teach screenwritng. I told them I don’t teach screenwriting, I just write scripts. They’d read my book and my articles in Scr(i)pt Magazine and I was teaching on paper, why not do it in person? Well, I’m kind of a writer... you know, shy, not good at public speaking... I turn into Albert Brooks in BROADCAST NEWS when I have to speak in public. Well, maybe teaching a class would help me deal with that? They would pay my airfare, my hotel, a flat rate for the class, buy meals *and* buy my drinks. "You’re going to buy my drinks?" "Sure." "Okay, I’m there." So, whenever anyone cals or e-mails me about teaching screenwriting, I usually go. I don’t *look* for any of these gigs, I don’t advertize or e-mail film festivals or anything like that... They have to find me. I don’t know how Aarhus found me, but they did.
Just as the audience for each screening seems to be a handful of people, the turn out for my class was handful of people. I think this is he fewest people who have ever shown up for my class.
The thing I have learned about classes - the fewer people, the more vocal that one person who wants to take over the class will be. When I’m in the big room at Expo and have 300-500 people listening to me, everyone is very well mannered and listens to the class. No one would ever think about trying to steer the class to whatever they want to talk about. When I’m in a smaller room a Expo or at Raindance or some other event and I have 100 people, that one person keeps raising their hand (or - more likely - just butts in) and asks questions about their personal script or wants to debate some point that really doesn’t matter. I’ve had times when I’m doing my class for 50 people, when that person becomes even more vocal and interrupts a couple of times an hour with some comment that has nothing to do with the class or a question designed to take us so far off track that we are now talking about their script instead of scriptwriting in general. I think this is rude to the other 49 people in the class and try to nip it in the bud... almost never works. No matter how politely I ask to hold questions until the end of a segment or to please phrase questions so they are about general screenwriting not about your script, these interrupters usually continue. Some actually increase their interruptions. I’ve had times where students try to take over the class by just standing up and talking about whatever *they* want to talk about. They seem to have no regard at all for the other 49 class members - they want to be the star and the center of attention.
So imagine what happens in a class of 8 people.
With 8 people, you don’t have a group, you have 8 individuals. Everyone sees themselves as an individual, rather than a member of the class. And that one person in every class? They think they are having a dialogue with you that the other 7 are listening to. I’m in a difficult position, because I kind of represent the film festival, and this person has paid to take the class. So I can’t just tell them to shut up or kick them out of the class. I have to be diplomatic and subtle... and subtle never works with these people. So my class got steered so far off course that I have to skip whole sections and constantly fight to get us back on course.
The worst part about these folks: their ego is so massive that they believe they know more than anyone else... but from their discussions it’s obvious that they don’t even know the basics... and they are often so pushy they get their scripts places I would be afraid to try with mine. Result: people in power read this crap and build even higher walls. Or they push their way into getting a film made, and wonder why it gets bad reviews or no distribution at all. Have you seen the movie OVERNIGHT about the guy behind BOONDOCK SAINTS? Mandatory viewing! Don't let your ego get in the way of your judgement. Listen to others sometimes and actually consider what they are saying. They might be right. If I have time at events like this, I like to sit in on someone else's class to get a "second opinion" and maybe learn something I didn't know. There's too much to know - you can never know it all.
So I finally get to the end of my class and end up giving away a class on CD to every member of the class (all 8) because with 8 students, odds of selling any aren’t good and I don’t want to drag all of those CDs home with me. Damned things get heavy after a while.
I’m also concerned that the turn out may create problems when it comes time to reimburse me for my airplane ticket, train ticket, and pay me for teaching the class. These things are contracted, but if they don’t pay me I think I’d have to sue them in Danish court (and that would cost more than I’m owed). This happens every once in a while - I’m still owed money from the last Las Vegas Conference, even though I went out of my way to teach a special one day class when the folks who were supposed to teach that day didn’t show (or maybe were cancelled because there wasn’t enough money for their hotel room). If anyone thinks I’m making loads of money doing this, think again. I may have just paid to visit Denmark out of my own pocket... and spent 90% of my time in that country teaching classes and doing panels and consultations instead of sight seeing.
After ten hours of talking, my voice is ragged and I want to sleep.
I retire to my room for a half hour before the party starts, and finish up yesterday’s blog entry. Then the phone rings - Marina from the lobby. They are getting a taxi to take us to the party in ten minutes, can I come down now? Sure. I don’t have to walk 20-25 minutes after a very long day of teaching.
- Bill
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