Because I had two films released on DVD on the same day, my friend Tina arranged a screening of the movies at Lola’s Martini Bar in Hollywood - a great place. The management did an amazing job - setting us up with a private room with big screen TV, DVD player and surround sound speakers. And we had a pretty good crowd - maybe 50 people. Though none of the Thursday night crowd showed, we had folks who flew in from the UK and Texas! We all got drunk and watched the two new movies...
But they aren’t really *my* movies. My name is on both of them. They both began with my screenplays. But what ended up on screen bears no resemblance to the screenplays I wrote. Oddly enough, the one that I was a co-producer on is probably less like my script than the other one - they even changed the *concept* on that one.
I like the idea of celebrating the accomplishment of having two movies made. I always recommend celebrating your accomplishments, because we are in a business where writers don’t get enough respect, don’t get enough praise, and usually don’t even get noticed. I advise celebrating every time you finish a screenplay - that’s a big accomplishment! Reward yourself! In fact, I recommend giving yourself some small reward for finishing your pages for the day - treat yourself to a desert, or movie, or *something* - writing is not easy, and no one is going to pat you on the head, tell you did a great job, and give you a doggie treat. You have to give yourself the doggie treat.
Years ago, before moving to Los Angeles, I had a hot new script called RECALL about the auto industry - and my then-agent (the worst agent in the world) loved it and was going to send it out to a bunch of big producers. So I decided to throw a party to celebrate, and made up a stack of copies of the script and sent them to everyone I knew along with an invitation. The booze and food was on me. I have to confess, I was hoping that all of my friends would show up and tell me how much they liked the script - how they laughed at the funny parts and were excited by the action scenes and found the suspense portions real page turners. People began showing up at my house, booze was flowing, everyone was having a great time... except me. Not a single person had even read the first page of the script. Maybe I was expecting too much of my friends? They were a mix of folks who wanted to break into the film biz and civilians. But I had hoped that at least the film biz folks might have taken a look at what I was so proud of.
Well, my awful agent couldn’t get anything going with the script... maybe it was the script, maybe it was his lack of letterhead and crappy manual typewritten cover letter.
I had a much better party when I sold my script to Paramount... but that was basically a going away party. It had nothing to do with my writing. The writing was the reason why I was going away, but nobody was saying "Congratulations on your writing!" they were saying "We’re gonna miss you!" Maybe I shouldn’t be picky about stuff like that. These folks came to the now-defunct Velvet Turtle Restaurant in Pleasant Hill to show me love. That’s cool.
And everyone who showed up Sunday night was there to show me love - and that’s fantastic.
But how do we celebrate the *screenplay* when the film is so much different?
In this case, both films completely suck. How can I subject my friends to crap like this? How can watching these wretched films be celebrating the much better scripts they came from?
One of the reviews of CROOKED says the films problems stem from a bland script from William C. Martell... except the movie doesn’t resemble my script at all. They stripped away all of the cool stuff. I sent the reviewer a link to the script... but I’m pretty sure he hasn’t read it, and the review still blames me for dialogue I didn’t write. Welcome to Hollywood! I remember watching an episode of Siskel & Ebert where Roger praised an actor for a specific action in a film, and having read the screenplay, I knew that the *writer* had come up with that amazing bit. Because I had Roger’s e-mail (and was a regular contributor to his Film Answer Man column) I sent him an e-mail about this... and nothing happened. Roger is a great guy, but his paper isn’t going to print a retraction about a bit of business in a film... and Buena Vista isn’t going to let him talk about some past film review flub on the TV show. Plus - who really cares? Film Critics don’t have the time to read the scripts for every film they review, let alone all of those versions of the script that came before. If there is a problem with the story or the dialogue, they blame the name listed on the screen as the writer. As writers, we have to sort it out for ourselves. That means we don’t take any of that stuff personally - hey, it might have been the dozen uncredited rewriters or the awful notes from the director we had to implement or some other reason. We have to just be happy knowing that we did a good job - even if the resulting film completely sucks.
One of the things that helps me deal with having my work screwed up on screen is that I still have the screenplays (that nobody reads) - and I post them. In fact, I post the *first drafts* typos and all. Now, if you read my *script* and think it sucks, that’s fine. You are judging *my work*. I can live with that. It’s particularly easy to live with when someone has pulled the screenplay out of some huge stack (half a million scripts in circulation at any one time) and bought it... then invested the millions to make the movie. I’m not saying that everything I wrote is perfect... or even good... but when someone buys my script instead of one of the other 499,999 out there, *something* was good about it. And that decision to buy and make my script is something I should celebrate...
But how?
As we watched the dreadful films Sunday night, I felt like we were celebrating bad rewrites and poor direction and awful acting. That wasn’t my script up there.
My friends were trying to like the movies - and *I* don’t even like them.
About 3/4 through one of the films, I thought we had had enough - and I popped out the DVD and popped in the *other* version of the script so that we could do a scene-to- scene comparison. This was better - that other film is much more like my original script, and the scene from that version was more exciting, more interesting, and actually looked much more expensive (on 1/6th the budget). At lest these were my characters. And the scene itself was my scene. (If you’re wondering - it was the STAGECOACH inspired fruit truck vs. motorcycle chase... which became a boring car chase in the new version.) By showing both scenes, my friends could *see* the difference in writing. They could appreciate my work - by comparing it to the rewritten version.
After that I just plugged in CROOKED, turned the English subtitles on and the volume down... and we had a party with the movie in the background. This ended up being the best choice - we could just hang out and have fun, and every once in a while I could point out something happening on the big screen and comment on it. We had a great time, and when it got late I scooped up the DVDs, thanked everyone, and drove back over the hill to the Valley.
I still don’t know the best way to celebrate a script. The problem is that what we do is *written* and to appreciate it, you have to read it. That means we aren’t going to get much appreciation for our work - nobody is really going to read our scripts. Even when the films get made, the writer gets the blame if the film sucks and the director and stars get the praise when the film is good. Critics don’t read scripts. They never will. Writers are always going to be behind the scenes and unnoticed. The world is never going to even notice that we exist... unless they’re complaining. That means we can’t expect anyone else to appreciate all of our hard work... we have to practice "self appreciation".
Next time, I think the DVD will just be playing in the background as I just hang out with my friends. Having the friends is the important part. Having the script sold and made is what is important - not whatever the heck is on that DVD.
Maybe next time I’ll just show my credit on the big screen... Then spend the rest of the night celebrating that credit, but not necessarily the film that comes after it.
- Bill
Monday, March 12, 2007
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Backstory On The 2 New Films...
Because I gave no idea how many people who visit this blog even know that I have a website with a different screenwriting article every day, I'm going to post some links to recent material about the actual writing of the scripts on these new films...
CROOKED
The orginal screenplay:
http://www.scriptsecrets.net/screenplays/target.pdf
How it was written:
http://www.scriptsecrets.net/tips/tip196.htm
BLACK THUNDER
The original screenplay:
http://www.scriptsecrets.net/screenplays/thunder1.pdf
How it was written (in 3 weeks):
http://www.scriptsecrets.net/tips/tip104.htm
http://www.scriptsecrets.net/tips/tip105.htm
What I found interesting is how much the scripts and the films are comletely different. As if a drunk read the original script, told the story to another drunk in a bar who told it to another drunk in a bar who told it to... well, dozen drunks later they typed it up and filmed it.
- Bill
CROOKED
The orginal screenplay:
http://www.scriptsecrets.net/screenplays/target.pdf
How it was written:
http://www.scriptsecrets.net/tips/tip196.htm
BLACK THUNDER
The original screenplay:
http://www.scriptsecrets.net/screenplays/thunder1.pdf
How it was written (in 3 weeks):
http://www.scriptsecrets.net/tips/tip104.htm
http://www.scriptsecrets.net/tips/tip105.htm
What I found interesting is how much the scripts and the films are comletely different. As if a drunk read the original script, told the story to another drunk in a bar who told it to another drunk in a bar who told it to... well, dozen drunks later they typed it up and filmed it.
- Bill
Friday, February 16, 2007
FAITH RENEWED - SORT OF...
I believe in good movies. There’s a tip floating around my website about the two kinds of “good” in movies - good for critics and good for the mass audience. I don’t think a movie like JACKASS was mentioned during Oscar season, but I laughed my butt off when I saw it. That’s the mass audience good.
I try to write the best mass audience films possible - though I don’t expect to ever have to wake up at 5am on that Tuesday when Oscar nominees are announced. I believe that an entertaining genre movie doesn’t have to be stupid. My favorite films are mostly genre junk that ended up becoming art with the passage of time. These were the best films in their genres, and eventually even the critics forgot that they were just mass audience movies and realized that they were just great films. I sit down to write, that’s my goal - both kinds of good. I want to write an entertaining film that also has meaning.
Lately, I’ve been having a crisis of faith. Big time.
May have mentioned this in another post... One of my favorite books was bought for the screen - first in a series, destined to be big summer tentpole movie. The #1 or #2 male star in the world signed on to play the lead. I was excited. They were still searching for a director when the film was supposed to go into production, and because this is a huge star - he had another project and this film was postponed. A friend of mine snagged a copy of the script, and over the holidays I attempted to read it. This was *the* script written for the star - tailored to him. And it sucked. The first ten pages were talking heads exposition - and then it got worse. Much of the writing stumbled around as if English was their second language - or maybe it was one of those Chinese to English translations. And the story? I knew the story from the book - and we just weren’t getting there. I couldn’t make it past page 40... and I was sticking it out because I loved the book so much! I wanted to bail out after the first couple of pages.
Now, I have no idea how these two guys got the writing job on this big summer tentpole movie - but this was terrible writing. And I’ll bet they got paid huge money - since they were doing the rewrite for the star.
Unfortunately, this isn’t the only bad big money script I’ve read. Have you read STAY? I know you haven’t seen the movie - nobody did. The writing was okay, but the story made no sense at all. That was a huge money sale.
I’ve also been seeing all of these dreadful horror films that I chronicled in my Trilogy Of Terror entries - and they suck big time. Though I’ll probably do a stand-alone post on the latest, let me just say that it’s awful. It’s two kinds of bad. And, even though the film has yet to find a distrib, they are going to make 2 more (private funding). They don’t seem to care about the scripts. This is the director-driven horror film, and I think he wants to be able to control the writer after years of TV work where the writer is in control. So they seem to *purposely* look for inferior scripts. This confuses me.
Meanwhile - some of the other folks from those horror films (like the screenwriter with the PR company) are getting new projects - even though the films they made have yet to find a distrib and suck. This confuses me.
I have coffee with my producer friend (from the Hype & Glory entry) who is still plagued with people who have projects that have Billy Bob attached... in their minds.... and he’s got a dilemma. Someone has brought him a horror project with $5 million attached. (Horror films are hot.) No stars spuriously attached, but the money is real. They want him to physically produce the film - which is his job. And he’s been turning down all of these bogus projects lately - and that means he needs to get something going. Everyone has bills to pay, even producers. So he reads the script - and it is awful. He actually pulls the script from his bag and reads me couple of pages - yikes!
He reads a line of action that is one run-on sentence that is half a page long. After finishing the sentence (he had to pause to breathe every so often) I had no idea what the sentence meant. Then he read some dialogue of the “Hello, I’m John Cavandish, your younger brother, when I was five you stole my favorite toy and I have never forgiven you” type. There seemed to be lots of that. I asked him if the script was scary - maybe it’s that other kind of good. No. There were a couple of places where the characters were walking around in the dark with the monster on the loose that were *potentially* scary with a good director... but this is a first time director.
I ask about the lead character... and he laughed. You see, this script has a bunch of potential lead characters and he was at page 60 before he figured out who the lead was supposed to be and it took him until page 70 to figure out the *concept* of the script! Oh, and that guy he thought was the lead? Killed by the monster. Someone else kills the monster - someone who is introduced a page before the final battle! Anyway, the script is a mess.
Now, this producer is my friend, so the next time he talks to the $5 million man he mentions that the script seems to need a lot of work, and he knows a writer... in fact, that writer has a couple of horror scripts that can be made for $5 million and are ready to go *now*. A long pause before the $5 million man replies - this is the script he is shooting and he isn’t changing a word. He’s also the writer (my friend didn’t know this).
Now, I’m sure that all of you are wondering what my producer friend and I were wondering: how did this guy get $5 million?
Anyway - my producer friend would love to get a pay check, but he’s afraid that things are only going to get worse on this project. He joked that the lack of the bogus Billy Bob attachment probably means this guy thinks he’s going to make this movie for $5 million without a star - that he’s going to spend everything on below the line and shoot for 4 months or something.
Folks, the reason why the average Hollywood film costs $100 million by the time it reaches the screen is not because films cost a lot to make, it’s because *stars* cost a lot to hire. A star costs $25 million plus, maybe another $10 million for perks like first class travel and accommodations for family and entourage and other BS. Add some co-stars and probably half the budget or more is going to stars. That’s how movies work - even on a low budget film you will probably spend half the budget on stars. My friend is afraid this guy doesn’t want to spend anything on cast - which will make the script impossible to sell *at that budget*. Look at a film like SAW - made for $1.2 million in a dozen days at Lacy Street studios - and much of the budget went to cast.
Another big issue is that this guy is married to a bad script and *refuses* to budge. My friend suggested he get some coverage on the script, and suggested a couple of readers who regularly read for some big indie companies - the very same companies who might distribute this film. Nope - this is the script they are shooting and they aren’t going to change a word. Yikes! I think *anyone* who is going to spend $5 million on a movie ought to spend $50 for some coverage. And if they don’t like the coverage, spend another $50 to get a second opinion. And if both think the script stinks - it may actually stink. This $5 million man is so sure that his script is brilliant, he’s probably going to flush $5 million down the toilet.
Why? Why is the world so unfair? Why do these crappy writers get work when people like you and I are not? Why?
My crisis of faith really kicked in with that new film that doesn’t have my name on it.
There is a UK writer who will get the credit, and who actually did some rewrite work on the script. Because the original script was about an Air Force test pilot and the star doesn’t match that description, new scenes that introduce the star as an ex-CIA agent were written, along with the scenes that get him into the story. This UK writer has written the star’s last few films - which I have not seen. But I look him up on IMDB, and danged if he doesn’t have 3 gigs writing sequels to studio films... plus the next couple of films for the star. Now, these sequels are DVD originals - but they are studio films. Man, I want those jobs!
Then a strange thing happened... the first few reviews of this film without my name start to pop up on IMDB and other sites. These are reviews from the star’s fans. His core group. And the reviews all say the same thing - this film is much better than the star’s recent films (written by the UK dude) - and they all cite the *script* and the *story*. In fact, the reviews trash the UK writer’s past scripts and praise this one... even though most of these reviews have no idea that anyone else was involved in the writing of this script. They are all praising this UK writer for finally getting it right.
And that makes me laugh and gives me renewed faith.
You may find that strange, but this is proof that the QUALITY OF THE SCRIPT means something. These people - the star’s loyal fans - who have no idea that I had anything to do with this script, think the writing is superior. Complete civilians who have no idea about the entertaining good, let alone the quality good, an easily see distinction between writing they like and writing they do not like. The audience really is paying attention to the quality of the script - even if they don’t know it.
To add to the fun - these reviews trash part of the script.... the opening scenes. The stuff the UK guy wrote!
That makes me feel good. They can even see the difference between good writing and bad writing *within the same script* - and even pinpoint when the bad writing stops and the good writing begins. . This means that good writing actually matters. The audience for a dopey direct to video action film actually cares about the writing and can tell good writing from bad writing from one scene to the next.
The target audience for this dopey action film thinks *my* writing is superior.
Don’t get me wrong - this film is not getting great reviews. I’m not even claiming that my writing is great... just that people who had no idea that I was involved have mentioned that it’s better than the previous stuff. They noticed the difference.
Many producers I have worked with in the past don’t care all that much about the scripts. They may want “good scripts” - but only because it means they can get those stars to sign to their project (sometimes even for less than their quote). But I think over the years they care less-and-less about script quality - if they can get John Travolta to star in BATTLEFIELD EARTH, who cares if the script sucks? They have a big star! The big star will attract the audience. So if you buy some piece of crap script and buy the stars, you are also buying a hit. Well, we’ve seen films with big stars flop because the story sucked. Sure, sometimes a NORBET comes along that is probably not a very good movie but stars Eddy Murphy and may have enough laughs to become a hit - that’s the other kind of good tipping the scales. And there are stars, like Murphy, who can make inferior material enjoyable. But folks, I think this is proof that even the audience for a dumb action movie cares about the quality of the writing.
Anyway - I’m claiming this as a victory for good writing. My faith is renewed.
Recently, Summer Redstone (who owns the half of Hollywood that Rupert Murdock doesn’t own) said in an interview: “We are paying the talent (actors) too much. Because it is not the talent that makes the movie, it is the script. The play's the thing, as someone once said. And if you have a great script, the talent rushes to appear in it and not at too heavy a price.”
Obviously the producers of big budget films know that all of the Tom Cruises in the world can’t make a bad script good.
Now, if we could get those producers of the studio DVD sequels to care more about the quality of the writing than... well, whatever reasons they have for buying crappy scripts. For those DVD “stars” the script is even more important - and even the audience for those films seems to know this. When you are spending $5 million on the DVD star (as these guys did) why not just spend the time to find a good script? It would even benefit the stars of these films to go out of their way to find better scripts... or just leave the writing to the writers. It’s their face up there on screen. Time for the producers to wake up and smell the coffee - scripts matter.
- Bill
I try to write the best mass audience films possible - though I don’t expect to ever have to wake up at 5am on that Tuesday when Oscar nominees are announced. I believe that an entertaining genre movie doesn’t have to be stupid. My favorite films are mostly genre junk that ended up becoming art with the passage of time. These were the best films in their genres, and eventually even the critics forgot that they were just mass audience movies and realized that they were just great films. I sit down to write, that’s my goal - both kinds of good. I want to write an entertaining film that also has meaning.
Lately, I’ve been having a crisis of faith. Big time.
May have mentioned this in another post... One of my favorite books was bought for the screen - first in a series, destined to be big summer tentpole movie. The #1 or #2 male star in the world signed on to play the lead. I was excited. They were still searching for a director when the film was supposed to go into production, and because this is a huge star - he had another project and this film was postponed. A friend of mine snagged a copy of the script, and over the holidays I attempted to read it. This was *the* script written for the star - tailored to him. And it sucked. The first ten pages were talking heads exposition - and then it got worse. Much of the writing stumbled around as if English was their second language - or maybe it was one of those Chinese to English translations. And the story? I knew the story from the book - and we just weren’t getting there. I couldn’t make it past page 40... and I was sticking it out because I loved the book so much! I wanted to bail out after the first couple of pages.
Now, I have no idea how these two guys got the writing job on this big summer tentpole movie - but this was terrible writing. And I’ll bet they got paid huge money - since they were doing the rewrite for the star.
Unfortunately, this isn’t the only bad big money script I’ve read. Have you read STAY? I know you haven’t seen the movie - nobody did. The writing was okay, but the story made no sense at all. That was a huge money sale.
I’ve also been seeing all of these dreadful horror films that I chronicled in my Trilogy Of Terror entries - and they suck big time. Though I’ll probably do a stand-alone post on the latest, let me just say that it’s awful. It’s two kinds of bad. And, even though the film has yet to find a distrib, they are going to make 2 more (private funding). They don’t seem to care about the scripts. This is the director-driven horror film, and I think he wants to be able to control the writer after years of TV work where the writer is in control. So they seem to *purposely* look for inferior scripts. This confuses me.
Meanwhile - some of the other folks from those horror films (like the screenwriter with the PR company) are getting new projects - even though the films they made have yet to find a distrib and suck. This confuses me.
I have coffee with my producer friend (from the Hype & Glory entry) who is still plagued with people who have projects that have Billy Bob attached... in their minds.... and he’s got a dilemma. Someone has brought him a horror project with $5 million attached. (Horror films are hot.) No stars spuriously attached, but the money is real. They want him to physically produce the film - which is his job. And he’s been turning down all of these bogus projects lately - and that means he needs to get something going. Everyone has bills to pay, even producers. So he reads the script - and it is awful. He actually pulls the script from his bag and reads me couple of pages - yikes!
He reads a line of action that is one run-on sentence that is half a page long. After finishing the sentence (he had to pause to breathe every so often) I had no idea what the sentence meant. Then he read some dialogue of the “Hello, I’m John Cavandish, your younger brother, when I was five you stole my favorite toy and I have never forgiven you” type. There seemed to be lots of that. I asked him if the script was scary - maybe it’s that other kind of good. No. There were a couple of places where the characters were walking around in the dark with the monster on the loose that were *potentially* scary with a good director... but this is a first time director.
I ask about the lead character... and he laughed. You see, this script has a bunch of potential lead characters and he was at page 60 before he figured out who the lead was supposed to be and it took him until page 70 to figure out the *concept* of the script! Oh, and that guy he thought was the lead? Killed by the monster. Someone else kills the monster - someone who is introduced a page before the final battle! Anyway, the script is a mess.
Now, this producer is my friend, so the next time he talks to the $5 million man he mentions that the script seems to need a lot of work, and he knows a writer... in fact, that writer has a couple of horror scripts that can be made for $5 million and are ready to go *now*. A long pause before the $5 million man replies - this is the script he is shooting and he isn’t changing a word. He’s also the writer (my friend didn’t know this).
Now, I’m sure that all of you are wondering what my producer friend and I were wondering: how did this guy get $5 million?
Anyway - my producer friend would love to get a pay check, but he’s afraid that things are only going to get worse on this project. He joked that the lack of the bogus Billy Bob attachment probably means this guy thinks he’s going to make this movie for $5 million without a star - that he’s going to spend everything on below the line and shoot for 4 months or something.
Folks, the reason why the average Hollywood film costs $100 million by the time it reaches the screen is not because films cost a lot to make, it’s because *stars* cost a lot to hire. A star costs $25 million plus, maybe another $10 million for perks like first class travel and accommodations for family and entourage and other BS. Add some co-stars and probably half the budget or more is going to stars. That’s how movies work - even on a low budget film you will probably spend half the budget on stars. My friend is afraid this guy doesn’t want to spend anything on cast - which will make the script impossible to sell *at that budget*. Look at a film like SAW - made for $1.2 million in a dozen days at Lacy Street studios - and much of the budget went to cast.
Another big issue is that this guy is married to a bad script and *refuses* to budge. My friend suggested he get some coverage on the script, and suggested a couple of readers who regularly read for some big indie companies - the very same companies who might distribute this film. Nope - this is the script they are shooting and they aren’t going to change a word. Yikes! I think *anyone* who is going to spend $5 million on a movie ought to spend $50 for some coverage. And if they don’t like the coverage, spend another $50 to get a second opinion. And if both think the script stinks - it may actually stink. This $5 million man is so sure that his script is brilliant, he’s probably going to flush $5 million down the toilet.
Why? Why is the world so unfair? Why do these crappy writers get work when people like you and I are not? Why?
My crisis of faith really kicked in with that new film that doesn’t have my name on it.
There is a UK writer who will get the credit, and who actually did some rewrite work on the script. Because the original script was about an Air Force test pilot and the star doesn’t match that description, new scenes that introduce the star as an ex-CIA agent were written, along with the scenes that get him into the story. This UK writer has written the star’s last few films - which I have not seen. But I look him up on IMDB, and danged if he doesn’t have 3 gigs writing sequels to studio films... plus the next couple of films for the star. Now, these sequels are DVD originals - but they are studio films. Man, I want those jobs!
Then a strange thing happened... the first few reviews of this film without my name start to pop up on IMDB and other sites. These are reviews from the star’s fans. His core group. And the reviews all say the same thing - this film is much better than the star’s recent films (written by the UK dude) - and they all cite the *script* and the *story*. In fact, the reviews trash the UK writer’s past scripts and praise this one... even though most of these reviews have no idea that anyone else was involved in the writing of this script. They are all praising this UK writer for finally getting it right.
And that makes me laugh and gives me renewed faith.
You may find that strange, but this is proof that the QUALITY OF THE SCRIPT means something. These people - the star’s loyal fans - who have no idea that I had anything to do with this script, think the writing is superior. Complete civilians who have no idea about the entertaining good, let alone the quality good, an easily see distinction between writing they like and writing they do not like. The audience really is paying attention to the quality of the script - even if they don’t know it.
To add to the fun - these reviews trash part of the script.... the opening scenes. The stuff the UK guy wrote!
That makes me feel good. They can even see the difference between good writing and bad writing *within the same script* - and even pinpoint when the bad writing stops and the good writing begins. . This means that good writing actually matters. The audience for a dopey direct to video action film actually cares about the writing and can tell good writing from bad writing from one scene to the next.
The target audience for this dopey action film thinks *my* writing is superior.
Don’t get me wrong - this film is not getting great reviews. I’m not even claiming that my writing is great... just that people who had no idea that I was involved have mentioned that it’s better than the previous stuff. They noticed the difference.
Many producers I have worked with in the past don’t care all that much about the scripts. They may want “good scripts” - but only because it means they can get those stars to sign to their project (sometimes even for less than their quote). But I think over the years they care less-and-less about script quality - if they can get John Travolta to star in BATTLEFIELD EARTH, who cares if the script sucks? They have a big star! The big star will attract the audience. So if you buy some piece of crap script and buy the stars, you are also buying a hit. Well, we’ve seen films with big stars flop because the story sucked. Sure, sometimes a NORBET comes along that is probably not a very good movie but stars Eddy Murphy and may have enough laughs to become a hit - that’s the other kind of good tipping the scales. And there are stars, like Murphy, who can make inferior material enjoyable. But folks, I think this is proof that even the audience for a dumb action movie cares about the quality of the writing.
Anyway - I’m claiming this as a victory for good writing. My faith is renewed.
Recently, Summer Redstone (who owns the half of Hollywood that Rupert Murdock doesn’t own) said in an interview: “We are paying the talent (actors) too much. Because it is not the talent that makes the movie, it is the script. The play's the thing, as someone once said. And if you have a great script, the talent rushes to appear in it and not at too heavy a price.”
Obviously the producers of big budget films know that all of the Tom Cruises in the world can’t make a bad script good.
Now, if we could get those producers of the studio DVD sequels to care more about the quality of the writing than... well, whatever reasons they have for buying crappy scripts. For those DVD “stars” the script is even more important - and even the audience for those films seems to know this. When you are spending $5 million on the DVD star (as these guys did) why not just spend the time to find a good script? It would even benefit the stars of these films to go out of their way to find better scripts... or just leave the writing to the writers. It’s their face up there on screen. Time for the producers to wake up and smell the coffee - scripts matter.
- Bill
Thursday, February 01, 2007
February Is Martell Movie Month
Happy Groundhog Day!
No, this is not a holiday honoring Jimmy Dean sausage... it honors a rodent’s shadow. Now that’s a good reason for a holiday! It’s also the shortest month of the year, and Black History Month... so rent some Spike Lee movies like SCHOOL DAZE. And SHAFT’S BIG SCORE. And SOUNDER, even though it was directed by a white guy it’s still a really good movie.
This is going to be a strange month for me, because I have two films coming to DVD. Used to be one was coming out on the 20th and the other on the 27th, but now it looks like both are hitting the shelves on the 20th. I’ve never had two films come out in the same month before, let alone the same *day*. Of course, you should rent SHAFT’S BIG SCORE instead - it’s a much better movie than either (and I’ve only seen one of them).
The count is now 19 films - and I have no idea how many other screenwriters have 19 films... but I can tell you that the guys who wrote THE ISLAND and the second ZORRO movie and M:I-3 have been handed the STAR TREK franchise. Can’t wait to see what they do with Kirk & Spock. I’m hoping that having 2 films come out in the same month on the same day might help me find an agent or manager or maybe a well-connected dentist. I’ve been writing all of these new specs for the studio stockpile, and it would be nice to have someone who could get them out there before the potential strike. A potential strike usually means lots of people buying scripts... and I have lots of new scripts.
By the way - I’ve done a whole bunch of those things on my to-do list: producers have finally gotten their scripts and directors have gotten notes and scripts. I currently have a whole bunch of people reading - but the odds of having one of these things go would be better with an agent or manager or well connected dentist pushing a little.
This year I plan on getting a bunch of stuff set up - to make up for the past few years where nothing ended up on film... and don’t know whether that will be easier with these two new films or not. I’m going to make the most of it - use this as a good excuse to get out there and hustle and try to find some representation. I have to admit to that I’m easily discouraged every time I go out looking for an agent or manager... I seem to think that if I’m selling things and getting work, why wouldn’t someone want to represent me?
What frustrates me are the agents or managers who insist on a referral. I can understand this if I’m someone off the street - it’s a screening process. But I can bring bag of DVDs with my name on them and dump them on their desk - shouldn’t that count for something? Not to them. It’s a situation where the rules are more important than the reason behind the rules. I can only imagine how tough it is for you guys.
The weird thing is that I have been at Film Festivals and at Writers Conferences with Agents and Managers who have been so kind as to refer me to their firms and ask someone to read my screenplays. In many cases it's the *boss* - the head of the management firm - who asks a junior manager to read one of my screenplays. Great! I'm in! The ultimate referal!
Except that Junior Manager then refuses to read me. They tell me that they are swamped and don't have time.
Putting me in a weird position where I can either narc on the Junior Manager and tell his or her boss that they refused to read me or just accept it and go on to the next possibility. I always do the latter, because I can't imagine getting a good read from someone who is pissed off at me for ratting them out to their boss. That Junior Agent is liable to tell their boss that they read my screenplay and it sucked. That would be worse than just walking away!
Almost every time I go to one of these things, I get the name of some junior manager or agent who is supposed to read my screenplay... and doesn't. So I just let it go. It would be nice if one of them actually did what the boss asked...
A couple of months ago I was recommended to a manager, who read a script... then I never heard from him. After a while I started peppering him with phone calls - which he eventually returned - asking to read another script. He couldn’t find the script I had sent him and didn’t remember it. So, I sent a second script (one that had studio interest at one time)... and haven’t heard back from him. I’ve decided that someone who screws up twice isn’t someone I want as my manager... and if he read and hated both scripts, he doesn’t want me. This kind of stuff frustrates me.
Meanwhile, actual real live producers - one who has made a movie that I know you have seen (everyone has) - are cycling through scripts based on reading other scripts by me. All kinds of people are reading my scripts right now. And this is what makes no sense to me - that the people who *buy* the scripts are easier to get scripts to than the middle-men. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?
Now, part of this is me. I want my past success to count for something and I want the quality of my scripts (which seems to work when it comes to producers I’ve never met before) to be more important than who I know. I don’t like the idea of referrals - that seems like cronyism to me. Yes, yes, I know that’s how the whole world works. I have freakin’ tips about how important it is to network - but I still want to believe that the material should be more important than anything else. I’m a stubborn moron when it comes to this - and I’m going to try to stop being such a moron and get on with my career. In my ideal Hollywood scripts would all have numbers instead of writer’s names and agency covers and it would all be about the script.
Some of you may think that is at odds with my wanting to be treated special for having a big stack of movies with my name on them. Except all of those sales were about the material. Oddly, one of these new films is actually a remake of one of my old films - that script sold twice. The other new film - a producer I sent that script to *years ago* called a few weeks ago to see if it was still available. Man, that company would have made much much bigger film and probably not screwed it up like the guys who made it. I had zero connection with that company - they asked to read the script off a cold query. Then I never heard from them and wrote them off. My entire career is some accident - people passing around a script or some script sitting on a shelf until someone gets around to reading it.
So - I’m looking at these two films on one day as chance to improve my career. But I also looked at January 1 as a chance to improve my career - I made a list of things that needed to be done to help my career and started to do them. In fact, I took my birthday as a good excuse to improve my career. Anything is a good excuse to get off my butt and do something. And whether I see instant results or some long-range results - whenever I do something there are eventual results.
When these two new films pop up on February 20th, will it mean a spring-like rebirth of my career? Or more dark and gloomy weather on my horizon?
- Bill
No, this is not a holiday honoring Jimmy Dean sausage... it honors a rodent’s shadow. Now that’s a good reason for a holiday! It’s also the shortest month of the year, and Black History Month... so rent some Spike Lee movies like SCHOOL DAZE. And SHAFT’S BIG SCORE. And SOUNDER, even though it was directed by a white guy it’s still a really good movie.
This is going to be a strange month for me, because I have two films coming to DVD. Used to be one was coming out on the 20th and the other on the 27th, but now it looks like both are hitting the shelves on the 20th. I’ve never had two films come out in the same month before, let alone the same *day*. Of course, you should rent SHAFT’S BIG SCORE instead - it’s a much better movie than either (and I’ve only seen one of them).
The count is now 19 films - and I have no idea how many other screenwriters have 19 films... but I can tell you that the guys who wrote THE ISLAND and the second ZORRO movie and M:I-3 have been handed the STAR TREK franchise. Can’t wait to see what they do with Kirk & Spock. I’m hoping that having 2 films come out in the same month on the same day might help me find an agent or manager or maybe a well-connected dentist. I’ve been writing all of these new specs for the studio stockpile, and it would be nice to have someone who could get them out there before the potential strike. A potential strike usually means lots of people buying scripts... and I have lots of new scripts.
By the way - I’ve done a whole bunch of those things on my to-do list: producers have finally gotten their scripts and directors have gotten notes and scripts. I currently have a whole bunch of people reading - but the odds of having one of these things go would be better with an agent or manager or well connected dentist pushing a little.
This year I plan on getting a bunch of stuff set up - to make up for the past few years where nothing ended up on film... and don’t know whether that will be easier with these two new films or not. I’m going to make the most of it - use this as a good excuse to get out there and hustle and try to find some representation. I have to admit to that I’m easily discouraged every time I go out looking for an agent or manager... I seem to think that if I’m selling things and getting work, why wouldn’t someone want to represent me?
What frustrates me are the agents or managers who insist on a referral. I can understand this if I’m someone off the street - it’s a screening process. But I can bring bag of DVDs with my name on them and dump them on their desk - shouldn’t that count for something? Not to them. It’s a situation where the rules are more important than the reason behind the rules. I can only imagine how tough it is for you guys.
The weird thing is that I have been at Film Festivals and at Writers Conferences with Agents and Managers who have been so kind as to refer me to their firms and ask someone to read my screenplays. In many cases it's the *boss* - the head of the management firm - who asks a junior manager to read one of my screenplays. Great! I'm in! The ultimate referal!
Except that Junior Manager then refuses to read me. They tell me that they are swamped and don't have time.
Putting me in a weird position where I can either narc on the Junior Manager and tell his or her boss that they refused to read me or just accept it and go on to the next possibility. I always do the latter, because I can't imagine getting a good read from someone who is pissed off at me for ratting them out to their boss. That Junior Agent is liable to tell their boss that they read my screenplay and it sucked. That would be worse than just walking away!
Almost every time I go to one of these things, I get the name of some junior manager or agent who is supposed to read my screenplay... and doesn't. So I just let it go. It would be nice if one of them actually did what the boss asked...
A couple of months ago I was recommended to a manager, who read a script... then I never heard from him. After a while I started peppering him with phone calls - which he eventually returned - asking to read another script. He couldn’t find the script I had sent him and didn’t remember it. So, I sent a second script (one that had studio interest at one time)... and haven’t heard back from him. I’ve decided that someone who screws up twice isn’t someone I want as my manager... and if he read and hated both scripts, he doesn’t want me. This kind of stuff frustrates me.
Meanwhile, actual real live producers - one who has made a movie that I know you have seen (everyone has) - are cycling through scripts based on reading other scripts by me. All kinds of people are reading my scripts right now. And this is what makes no sense to me - that the people who *buy* the scripts are easier to get scripts to than the middle-men. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?
Now, part of this is me. I want my past success to count for something and I want the quality of my scripts (which seems to work when it comes to producers I’ve never met before) to be more important than who I know. I don’t like the idea of referrals - that seems like cronyism to me. Yes, yes, I know that’s how the whole world works. I have freakin’ tips about how important it is to network - but I still want to believe that the material should be more important than anything else. I’m a stubborn moron when it comes to this - and I’m going to try to stop being such a moron and get on with my career. In my ideal Hollywood scripts would all have numbers instead of writer’s names and agency covers and it would all be about the script.
Some of you may think that is at odds with my wanting to be treated special for having a big stack of movies with my name on them. Except all of those sales were about the material. Oddly, one of these new films is actually a remake of one of my old films - that script sold twice. The other new film - a producer I sent that script to *years ago* called a few weeks ago to see if it was still available. Man, that company would have made much much bigger film and probably not screwed it up like the guys who made it. I had zero connection with that company - they asked to read the script off a cold query. Then I never heard from them and wrote them off. My entire career is some accident - people passing around a script or some script sitting on a shelf until someone gets around to reading it.
So - I’m looking at these two films on one day as chance to improve my career. But I also looked at January 1 as a chance to improve my career - I made a list of things that needed to be done to help my career and started to do them. In fact, I took my birthday as a good excuse to improve my career. Anything is a good excuse to get off my butt and do something. And whether I see instant results or some long-range results - whenever I do something there are eventual results.
When these two new films pop up on February 20th, will it mean a spring-like rebirth of my career? Or more dark and gloomy weather on my horizon?
- Bill
Monday, January 22, 2007
Memorials: Gary Graver and Ron Carey
A couple of people I know have passed away, Gary Graver and Ron Carey.
On Sunday there was a tribute to Gary Graver, who shot my INVISIBLE MOM movie and some other things I did some writing on, at the Egyptian Theater in Hollywood. He died at the end of last year of cancer (1938-2006). We had the same birthday.
Gary shot *hundreds* of movies. He's probably best known for his work with Orson Welles. Welles was kind of a washed up has-been, and Gary cold called him and offered to shoot his next film... then hung around Welles until there *was* a next film. For the next 15 or so years of Welles' life, Gary shot *everything* he did. Movies, TV shows, Japanese booze commercials... you name it, Gary shot it. Welles did this interesting documentary called F IS FOR FAKE (critereon, I think) about forgery - from a world famous art forger to Clifford Irving's fake biography of Howard Hughes (in fact, there's a new Richard Gere movie coming out about that). What was interesting about F is that Irving is their art forgery expert... as the fake bio story was breaking! So Irving becomes the subject of the movie - and I'm sure the Gere movie used F as ref (where else can you get Irving himself on film talking about it?). And the unused trailer for F... starred Gary!
Would Welles have made another film without Gary? Probably not. Gary was a bundle of energy, and Welles' #1 fan. He also worked for *free* for Welles. Anytime Welles wanted to shoot anything, he could just call up Gary and he'd show up with his equipment and a pick-up crew. People were telling stories about Gary calling them to crew at the last minute... for Orson Welles. Gary shot Welles' last film, starring John Huston, which he was editing and shooting pick ups for at the time of his death (Gary's - his devotion to Welles continued after Welles' death).
Gary also did 2nd unit on Cassavettes' A WOMAN UNDER THE INFLUENCE... and Speilberg's little film RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK. Gary shot GRAND THEFT AUTO for Ron Howard. Gary was cinematographer on over 200 movies, and directed over 100 himself. He did second unit or additional photog on zillions of movies - he worked on THE COLOR PURPLE! Name the movie - I'll bet Gary worked on it. Someone told a funny story on Sunday about getting a phone call from Gary asking if they could help with some insert shots - and it ended up being all of Gary's friends holding weapons for close ups in some movie that Gary got called to do inserts on. Who knows what movie that was?
I wasn't really a friend of Gary's - he just shot some stuff I wrote. But I'd bump into him at screenings sometimes and we'd talk for a while. He might mention something he shot from the past in passing - but mostly he talked about what he was doing now or what film he'd seen that he liked. Normal conversation with someone who you have *film* in common with. Sometimes I'd sit with him if I wasn't with friends. I remember bumping into him at some cinema, and he introduced me to his friend Curtis... and it took me a while to realize it was *Curtis Harrington* - director of one of my favorite movies GAMES. Gary knew everyone... and all kinds of people. He was always full of energy and excited about whatever he was working on. Someone on Sunday described him as a golden retriever - and that fits perfectly: he seemed to always be full of energy (and had this golden hair - natural - until the day he died). Running around the set doing last minute tweaks. Gary was also a loyal friend - we heard that from everyone who spoke. I didn't know he'd been ill, saw him a couple of years ago, and he'd slowed down. As if age had finally caught up with him... but he had some potential project and was looking for a script... and practically dragged me over to the producer. The excitment was still there - he wanted to make a movie! Nothing was going to stop him.
At the tribute they showed slides from Gary's films - so many films! So many different kinds of films - from art house to grind house to blockbuster. I looked at all of those films and felt that I am misusing my time - and that Gary was *constantly* doing the thing he loved. You'd see over a dozen films made the same year and wonder how he could work that fast, that good, on so many movies *in the same year*. And the variety - he would be shooting some T&A flick and follow that with something for Welles then some Spielberg pick up shots! He'd do some Gary Coleman family TV movie, some low budget horror flicks, then some art house movie!
And Gary would just help people make their movies. Sure, anyone might help Orson Welles, but Gary helped all kinds of people... and was still helping Welles after Welles had passed away. He shot a film in France for a first time director last year. And there were *two* well-known cinematographers at the tribute - and Gary gave both their start. He'd be offered two jobs at the same time, and give one to his assistant - instantly promoting him to DP. If someone needed something, he just gave it to them. That made me feel like a selfish slacker...
And made me want to do more to help everyone around me. To stop taking people for granted - they may not be here tomorrow. To be passionate about everything I do.
Gary was (and is) inspiring. He will be missed - but like Mad Max, he's going to live on forever in my memory.
***
RON CAREY - a comic actor best known as Leavitt on the BARNEY MILLER show died a couple of days ago. I've mentioned this a few times - back when I was a kid, my friend Van Tassell and I used to crash film sets. Any film shooting in the San Francisco Bay Area - we were there trying to act like we belonged. The very first film set I crashed was Mel Brooks' HIGH ANXIETY. I was a kid. I decided to dress like an adult - in a suit - so that I would fit in. Instead, I stood out like a nun in a whorehouse. Mel Brooks came up to me and asked if I was from the studio... I gave a non-answer. Brooks told me to tell them that he was on time and on budget. And with that, I was *not* kicked off the set for the 9 days they shot in the Bay Area. So, I'm on set, pretending to belong, and I bump into Ron Carey near the coffee urn. Hey, it's the guy from BARNEY MILLER! Of course, I don't say that outloud. Instead I make a joke about the paper cup in his hand. And he makes a paper cup joke... and it became Deuling Paper Cup Jokes. Each trying to out-do the other. Back then, I hadn't killed all those brain cells and we kept it going forever!
Ron asked me what I was really doing on the set, and I admitted I was a writer-director just trying to see how real movies were made. He said he was always looking for a comedy script that he could star in, and gave me his address and phone number. I actually had a comedy-action script I was working on called HEAD IN THE CLOUDS about a Janitor who pretends to be a spy to pick up girls, but when Terrorists overhear him - they think he's a real spy onto their big mission and try to kill him. Anyway, sent it to Ron who read it and said it wasn't exactly what he was looking for (I was, like, 18 years old - that script SUCKED). But to send him anything else that might work and call him if I was ever in town.
For years I would get a Christmas card made out to "Too Tall Martell" and eventually I drove down to LA and called him. He told me to come by the house. I drive over, met his wife (a nurse - I think her name was Nancy or Linda) and had some iced tea or lemonade. A couple hours later, I left to bother someone else... and continued to get Christams Cards for a few years until I moved or they moved. Never talked to him again... but without his kindness, I would never have done many of the things I have done. He was the first famous person I knew - and he treated me as an equal. That was one of those things that made my mind click from "film is something that people like me can never do" to "hey, maybe I can do this!"
What both of these guys had in common is a willingness to help complete strangers and a passion about their work.
This isn't a competition where screwing over the other guy puts you ahead. We're all in this together. We're here because we love movies and want to be a part of them... so let's work together instead of against each other.
- Bill
On Sunday there was a tribute to Gary Graver, who shot my INVISIBLE MOM movie and some other things I did some writing on, at the Egyptian Theater in Hollywood. He died at the end of last year of cancer (1938-2006). We had the same birthday.
Gary shot *hundreds* of movies. He's probably best known for his work with Orson Welles. Welles was kind of a washed up has-been, and Gary cold called him and offered to shoot his next film... then hung around Welles until there *was* a next film. For the next 15 or so years of Welles' life, Gary shot *everything* he did. Movies, TV shows, Japanese booze commercials... you name it, Gary shot it. Welles did this interesting documentary called F IS FOR FAKE (critereon, I think) about forgery - from a world famous art forger to Clifford Irving's fake biography of Howard Hughes (in fact, there's a new Richard Gere movie coming out about that). What was interesting about F is that Irving is their art forgery expert... as the fake bio story was breaking! So Irving becomes the subject of the movie - and I'm sure the Gere movie used F as ref (where else can you get Irving himself on film talking about it?). And the unused trailer for F... starred Gary!
Would Welles have made another film without Gary? Probably not. Gary was a bundle of energy, and Welles' #1 fan. He also worked for *free* for Welles. Anytime Welles wanted to shoot anything, he could just call up Gary and he'd show up with his equipment and a pick-up crew. People were telling stories about Gary calling them to crew at the last minute... for Orson Welles. Gary shot Welles' last film, starring John Huston, which he was editing and shooting pick ups for at the time of his death (Gary's - his devotion to Welles continued after Welles' death).
Gary also did 2nd unit on Cassavettes' A WOMAN UNDER THE INFLUENCE... and Speilberg's little film RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK. Gary shot GRAND THEFT AUTO for Ron Howard. Gary was cinematographer on over 200 movies, and directed over 100 himself. He did second unit or additional photog on zillions of movies - he worked on THE COLOR PURPLE! Name the movie - I'll bet Gary worked on it. Someone told a funny story on Sunday about getting a phone call from Gary asking if they could help with some insert shots - and it ended up being all of Gary's friends holding weapons for close ups in some movie that Gary got called to do inserts on. Who knows what movie that was?
I wasn't really a friend of Gary's - he just shot some stuff I wrote. But I'd bump into him at screenings sometimes and we'd talk for a while. He might mention something he shot from the past in passing - but mostly he talked about what he was doing now or what film he'd seen that he liked. Normal conversation with someone who you have *film* in common with. Sometimes I'd sit with him if I wasn't with friends. I remember bumping into him at some cinema, and he introduced me to his friend Curtis... and it took me a while to realize it was *Curtis Harrington* - director of one of my favorite movies GAMES. Gary knew everyone... and all kinds of people. He was always full of energy and excited about whatever he was working on. Someone on Sunday described him as a golden retriever - and that fits perfectly: he seemed to always be full of energy (and had this golden hair - natural - until the day he died). Running around the set doing last minute tweaks. Gary was also a loyal friend - we heard that from everyone who spoke. I didn't know he'd been ill, saw him a couple of years ago, and he'd slowed down. As if age had finally caught up with him... but he had some potential project and was looking for a script... and practically dragged me over to the producer. The excitment was still there - he wanted to make a movie! Nothing was going to stop him.
At the tribute they showed slides from Gary's films - so many films! So many different kinds of films - from art house to grind house to blockbuster. I looked at all of those films and felt that I am misusing my time - and that Gary was *constantly* doing the thing he loved. You'd see over a dozen films made the same year and wonder how he could work that fast, that good, on so many movies *in the same year*. And the variety - he would be shooting some T&A flick and follow that with something for Welles then some Spielberg pick up shots! He'd do some Gary Coleman family TV movie, some low budget horror flicks, then some art house movie!
And Gary would just help people make their movies. Sure, anyone might help Orson Welles, but Gary helped all kinds of people... and was still helping Welles after Welles had passed away. He shot a film in France for a first time director last year. And there were *two* well-known cinematographers at the tribute - and Gary gave both their start. He'd be offered two jobs at the same time, and give one to his assistant - instantly promoting him to DP. If someone needed something, he just gave it to them. That made me feel like a selfish slacker...
And made me want to do more to help everyone around me. To stop taking people for granted - they may not be here tomorrow. To be passionate about everything I do.
Gary was (and is) inspiring. He will be missed - but like Mad Max, he's going to live on forever in my memory.
***
RON CAREY - a comic actor best known as Leavitt on the BARNEY MILLER show died a couple of days ago. I've mentioned this a few times - back when I was a kid, my friend Van Tassell and I used to crash film sets. Any film shooting in the San Francisco Bay Area - we were there trying to act like we belonged. The very first film set I crashed was Mel Brooks' HIGH ANXIETY. I was a kid. I decided to dress like an adult - in a suit - so that I would fit in. Instead, I stood out like a nun in a whorehouse. Mel Brooks came up to me and asked if I was from the studio... I gave a non-answer. Brooks told me to tell them that he was on time and on budget. And with that, I was *not* kicked off the set for the 9 days they shot in the Bay Area. So, I'm on set, pretending to belong, and I bump into Ron Carey near the coffee urn. Hey, it's the guy from BARNEY MILLER! Of course, I don't say that outloud. Instead I make a joke about the paper cup in his hand. And he makes a paper cup joke... and it became Deuling Paper Cup Jokes. Each trying to out-do the other. Back then, I hadn't killed all those brain cells and we kept it going forever!
Ron asked me what I was really doing on the set, and I admitted I was a writer-director just trying to see how real movies were made. He said he was always looking for a comedy script that he could star in, and gave me his address and phone number. I actually had a comedy-action script I was working on called HEAD IN THE CLOUDS about a Janitor who pretends to be a spy to pick up girls, but when Terrorists overhear him - they think he's a real spy onto their big mission and try to kill him. Anyway, sent it to Ron who read it and said it wasn't exactly what he was looking for (I was, like, 18 years old - that script SUCKED). But to send him anything else that might work and call him if I was ever in town.
For years I would get a Christmas card made out to "Too Tall Martell" and eventually I drove down to LA and called him. He told me to come by the house. I drive over, met his wife (a nurse - I think her name was Nancy or Linda) and had some iced tea or lemonade. A couple hours later, I left to bother someone else... and continued to get Christams Cards for a few years until I moved or they moved. Never talked to him again... but without his kindness, I would never have done many of the things I have done. He was the first famous person I knew - and he treated me as an equal. That was one of those things that made my mind click from "film is something that people like me can never do" to "hey, maybe I can do this!"
What both of these guys had in common is a willingness to help complete strangers and a passion about their work.
This isn't a competition where screwing over the other guy puts you ahead. We're all in this together. We're here because we love movies and want to be a part of them... so let's work together instead of against each other.
- Bill
So... How was your day?
Happy New Year!
Some of you are probably wondering if I was abducted by aliens (why do they always have *rectal* probes?) and others are just wondering if this was going to become just another dead site. Nope. I'm still here.
And part 3 of the AFM entry is done (and posted), but many other entries are still on the To Do List. Problem is, that To Do List is getting out of control. It's almost endless!
I always have this crazy To Do List for the holidays - everything that didn't get done in the year so far. Add to that the London Recordings that need editing (still) and wanting to kick off the New Year with some New Script Tips (today was the first re-run, but there are new tips this week and for the next couple of weeks *written*). So, suddenly everyone wants to read scripts. Everyone. That's a good thing...
So, the plan for today was simple: I had to make copies of several scripts at Arnold's Copies on Ventura Blvd, plus I have to write a new opening scene for one of my scripts... you see, a big company that made some films I guarentee you saw in the cinema has requested this script of mine that I decided needed a new opening sequence - the current one is kind of flat. So that new opining was on the To Do List... but now it has to be done right away. And because this company is big, that puts the pressure on. Before I could have just knocked it out in a day or two, but now? It has to be *brilliant*. That has made the little critical dude on my shoulder take control and tell me that everything I write is crap. But today was the day I was going to finisg the new opening - #1 on the list. #2 is the copies. #3 is to respond to some questions that this crazy director has about a script of mine he's interested in - he gave it a quick read and has these questions... and I haven't gotten back to him (weeks) because I haven't read the script in a long time and want to make sure I get all this stuff right. Meanwhile, one of the scripts is for another director who is gearing up to make a film and wants a script I haven't written... and I have to talk him into using this one instead (which is actually a better idea and better suited to his skills as a director). But - that's work. Oh, also on today's list at #4 is call the Beverly Garland Hotel to book the theater for sometime in May for the 2 day class and call this producer who is looking for an action script and someone recommended me - #5. Oh, and another producer I met in a Starbucks who made a film that won an Oscar for screenplay - he read something of mine and wants me to call him about other projects - #6.
So, a busy day.
Over the weekend the DWP was tearing up my street and had the water shut off for a couple of hours... and this morning, I woke up to a leaky pipe in my bathroom. Drip. Drip. Drip. Those two may or may not be connected. But my bathroom is like a tiny lake. I build a towel-dam at the door to keep the rest of my apartment from washing away and tell the manager about it... so sometime next year it may get fixed. Meanwhile, I step out of the shower onto a wet floor - yech.
I grab the laptop and head to Starbucks. Not my normal Starbucks in Studio City that I've been going to since they opened their doors and the talkative lunatic at Priscilla's wouldn't leave me alone - you see, that Starbucks is so crowded that you can't get a table anymore. I go there at dinner hour, grab a table when people leave. During the day I'm at a different - undisclosed location - Starbucks. It's near a gym, so I get to see attractive women in work out clothes come in for a latte when I look up from my screen.
Today I get there... and every table is taken. Some sort of Starbucks hiring thing. People being interviewed for a job... so there's no place for customers to sit. I'm outside (not as cold as it was a week ago) working off battery... for almost 2 hours (battery lasts 2 hours). Finally, two compfy chairs open up. I grab one. A smelly homeless guy with all of his belongings in shopping bags grabs the other. Homeless guy is talking to himself. I put in earphones and listen to MAGNIFICENT SEVEN score - which reminds me to charge my ipod. Smelly Homeless guy has a free glass of water... which he knocks over - onto my pants. Then, he pretends nothing happened. Sweet! I'm covered in water, he's having a passionate discussion with himself.
So I go online, check my e-mail, and there are e-mails saying that a war has broken out on my website message boards. Swell. I have a problem guy on my boards who pops up, starts out sincere, then begins saying strange things and insulting other posters. My job, as host, is to keep the peace. I never kick people off my boards - after 7 years I think I've banned 3 people total. I want even the problem people to have a place where they can get some answers about screenwriting.
I go on the boards - and sure enough, my problem dude is acting up. I delete a couple of his crazy and insulting posts... then notice that not all of the e-mails were about the problem guy. I check another section - and there's this massive flame war under way. Perfect day for that.
A new poster has asked for feedback on his script. Another new poster has provided *pages* of feedback. A couple of regulars have also made some notes... and the guy who asked for feedback has hone ballistic - fighting with everyone over the notes and insulting them. Problem is, the other new poster has fought back - and now we have a war. So I delete all of the insulting posts and ask that everyone just calm down - and I also caution that it takes two people to fight, so even if you didn't throw the first punch - just don't throw the second. Let it die and there is no war.
That should have been the end of that. It has been in the past. Even with my problem dude, once I say "stop it" he usually apologizes and acts normal for a while.
Not with this guy. He wouldn't let it go. He keeps insulting people. I check my e-mail an hour later, and I have new e-mails from regulars who have been insulted by this guy. So I go back and try to calmly explain that we don't argue here. Then I go back to work...
Which ends up *not* being the new script opening, but rewriting a Script Tip. See, I forgot that they announce the Oscar Nominees tomorrow morning, and I have a tip that uses that as the lead. I have to rewrite it every year, because the movies change. Anyway, I finish that and check my e-mail... geeze, this new guy seems to not be quitting. When one person pisses off a bunch of regulars, I have to do something about it. Some of these regulars are *not* part of the ongoing insult war, they're just tired of reading all this crap.
So, once again I try to reason with this new guy. I explain that we don't argue here. He screams free speech... and I explain that there is no free speech on a message board that I'm paying for. I pay for that speech - it's not free. If I'm paying for it, I get to make the rules - and "no fighting" seems like a pretty non-controversial rule. My problem dude can follow it long enough to keep from getting kicked off - why can't this new guy?
Well, I don't know the answer to that, because he wrote a brand new insulting post to me *and* to one of the regulars who was being most helpful. So I had to ban the sucker.
By the time I was finished with all of this drama - Arnold's Copies on Ventura Blvd was closed and the people at Bev Gar had gone home for the day and it was too late to call producers. So just about *everything* from today's list gets shifted to tomorrow. I wonder if my leaky pipe got fixed...
- Bill (venting - sorry)
Some of you are probably wondering if I was abducted by aliens (why do they always have *rectal* probes?) and others are just wondering if this was going to become just another dead site. Nope. I'm still here.
And part 3 of the AFM entry is done (and posted), but many other entries are still on the To Do List. Problem is, that To Do List is getting out of control. It's almost endless!
I always have this crazy To Do List for the holidays - everything that didn't get done in the year so far. Add to that the London Recordings that need editing (still) and wanting to kick off the New Year with some New Script Tips (today was the first re-run, but there are new tips this week and for the next couple of weeks *written*). So, suddenly everyone wants to read scripts. Everyone. That's a good thing...
So, the plan for today was simple: I had to make copies of several scripts at Arnold's Copies on Ventura Blvd, plus I have to write a new opening scene for one of my scripts... you see, a big company that made some films I guarentee you saw in the cinema has requested this script of mine that I decided needed a new opening sequence - the current one is kind of flat. So that new opining was on the To Do List... but now it has to be done right away. And because this company is big, that puts the pressure on. Before I could have just knocked it out in a day or two, but now? It has to be *brilliant*. That has made the little critical dude on my shoulder take control and tell me that everything I write is crap. But today was the day I was going to finisg the new opening - #1 on the list. #2 is the copies. #3 is to respond to some questions that this crazy director has about a script of mine he's interested in - he gave it a quick read and has these questions... and I haven't gotten back to him (weeks) because I haven't read the script in a long time and want to make sure I get all this stuff right. Meanwhile, one of the scripts is for another director who is gearing up to make a film and wants a script I haven't written... and I have to talk him into using this one instead (which is actually a better idea and better suited to his skills as a director). But - that's work. Oh, also on today's list at #4 is call the Beverly Garland Hotel to book the theater for sometime in May for the 2 day class and call this producer who is looking for an action script and someone recommended me - #5. Oh, and another producer I met in a Starbucks who made a film that won an Oscar for screenplay - he read something of mine and wants me to call him about other projects - #6.
So, a busy day.
Over the weekend the DWP was tearing up my street and had the water shut off for a couple of hours... and this morning, I woke up to a leaky pipe in my bathroom. Drip. Drip. Drip. Those two may or may not be connected. But my bathroom is like a tiny lake. I build a towel-dam at the door to keep the rest of my apartment from washing away and tell the manager about it... so sometime next year it may get fixed. Meanwhile, I step out of the shower onto a wet floor - yech.
I grab the laptop and head to Starbucks. Not my normal Starbucks in Studio City that I've been going to since they opened their doors and the talkative lunatic at Priscilla's wouldn't leave me alone - you see, that Starbucks is so crowded that you can't get a table anymore. I go there at dinner hour, grab a table when people leave. During the day I'm at a different - undisclosed location - Starbucks. It's near a gym, so I get to see attractive women in work out clothes come in for a latte when I look up from my screen.
Today I get there... and every table is taken. Some sort of Starbucks hiring thing. People being interviewed for a job... so there's no place for customers to sit. I'm outside (not as cold as it was a week ago) working off battery... for almost 2 hours (battery lasts 2 hours). Finally, two compfy chairs open up. I grab one. A smelly homeless guy with all of his belongings in shopping bags grabs the other. Homeless guy is talking to himself. I put in earphones and listen to MAGNIFICENT SEVEN score - which reminds me to charge my ipod. Smelly Homeless guy has a free glass of water... which he knocks over - onto my pants. Then, he pretends nothing happened. Sweet! I'm covered in water, he's having a passionate discussion with himself.
So I go online, check my e-mail, and there are e-mails saying that a war has broken out on my website message boards. Swell. I have a problem guy on my boards who pops up, starts out sincere, then begins saying strange things and insulting other posters. My job, as host, is to keep the peace. I never kick people off my boards - after 7 years I think I've banned 3 people total. I want even the problem people to have a place where they can get some answers about screenwriting.
I go on the boards - and sure enough, my problem dude is acting up. I delete a couple of his crazy and insulting posts... then notice that not all of the e-mails were about the problem guy. I check another section - and there's this massive flame war under way. Perfect day for that.
A new poster has asked for feedback on his script. Another new poster has provided *pages* of feedback. A couple of regulars have also made some notes... and the guy who asked for feedback has hone ballistic - fighting with everyone over the notes and insulting them. Problem is, the other new poster has fought back - and now we have a war. So I delete all of the insulting posts and ask that everyone just calm down - and I also caution that it takes two people to fight, so even if you didn't throw the first punch - just don't throw the second. Let it die and there is no war.
That should have been the end of that. It has been in the past. Even with my problem dude, once I say "stop it" he usually apologizes and acts normal for a while.
Not with this guy. He wouldn't let it go. He keeps insulting people. I check my e-mail an hour later, and I have new e-mails from regulars who have been insulted by this guy. So I go back and try to calmly explain that we don't argue here. Then I go back to work...
Which ends up *not* being the new script opening, but rewriting a Script Tip. See, I forgot that they announce the Oscar Nominees tomorrow morning, and I have a tip that uses that as the lead. I have to rewrite it every year, because the movies change. Anyway, I finish that and check my e-mail... geeze, this new guy seems to not be quitting. When one person pisses off a bunch of regulars, I have to do something about it. Some of these regulars are *not* part of the ongoing insult war, they're just tired of reading all this crap.
So, once again I try to reason with this new guy. I explain that we don't argue here. He screams free speech... and I explain that there is no free speech on a message board that I'm paying for. I pay for that speech - it's not free. If I'm paying for it, I get to make the rules - and "no fighting" seems like a pretty non-controversial rule. My problem dude can follow it long enough to keep from getting kicked off - why can't this new guy?
Well, I don't know the answer to that, because he wrote a brand new insulting post to me *and* to one of the regulars who was being most helpful. So I had to ban the sucker.
By the time I was finished with all of this drama - Arnold's Copies on Ventura Blvd was closed and the people at Bev Gar had gone home for the day and it was too late to call producers. So just about *everything* from today's list gets shifted to tomorrow. I wonder if my leaky pipe got fixed...
- Bill (venting - sorry)
Monday, October 23, 2006
Screenwriter's Expo A Go-Go!
I just spent a couple of weeks at a film festival, a day flying home, I’m jet-lagged beyond belief, I spent yesterday doing laundry... what I really *need* to do today is sleep...
But it’s the first day of the Screenwriter’s Expo in Los Angeles.
Since the very beginning, the Expo has been held at the LA Convention Center downtown. *Thousands* of screenwriters from all over the world pack the place for three days of wall-to-wall screenwriting classes and panels and lectures by people like William Goldman. The problem with downtown is that it’s bumper-to-bumper traffic all the way, and you wouldn’t want to park your car there... plus lot parking can be expensive. There are also few places to eat, and you need sterling credit to afford a convention center hot dog.
I live a block away from the Universal City subway station... oh, you didn’t know Los Angeles even had subway? Well, after having so much smog that the EPA could literally shut down the city, they decided to appease them with some mass transit. Every other city has mass transit, why not LA? Of course, LA is the pork-belly politics capitol of the world, so instead of a less expensive elevated rail system, they decided to have a classy subway. Sure it would cost billions and screw up traffic for years... but the subway would make Los Angeles a world class city like London....
Having just come from London, where I walked across the street from where I was staying and entered a subway station, then took the subway to the airport - there are *two* subway stations right inside Heathrow! ... I can tell you that the Los Angeles subway system is a huge joke. Due to all of the politics, it doesn’t go anywhere you would want to go. It sure as hell doesn’t get anywhere near the airport. It *does* go to MacArthur Park, where the heroin addicts hang out. It also goes to the Amtrak station. Of course, it had to stop at downtown Hollywood... where the hookers and cross-dressing hookers hang out. And there are no tickets or turnstiles, it’s all on the honor system... so the heroin addicts can hop a train and go someplace else.
But the one good thing about the subway - it *almost* goes to the Convention Center. Due to some stupid planning, it doesn’t quite make it, but you can connect to another silly toy train that takes you the dozen blocks to... well, still two blocks away from the Convention Center. Still, since I live a block from the subway station, it’s a million times faster than stop-and-go rush hour traffic. So, once a year I ride the subway... to Expo.
Except this year they’ve moved the Expo to a couple of airport hotels. The only traffic worse than going downtown is going to the airport. I once drove my friend Bob to the airport at 4am... and we were in stop-and-go traffic. Where are people going at 4am?
My Expo classes began this year at 10am and 8am and 10am... It would take me half the day to get there in rush hour traffic! And I mentioned the subway gets nowhere near the airport, right? So, while I’m waiting for my flight to London 2 weeks ago, I book a room in the hotel *between* the two hotels where they are holding the Expo. I can roll out of bed and go right to my 8am class! I check in on Thursday, and bump into someone who knows me from the website - I tell them I just got back from London and they say that it takes a full day for every hour in the air to get over jet-lag. I was in the air 10-11 hours... so is that just any day, or a day where you get 8 hours sleep?
I really need to sleep, but instead I go to the opening night party.
NEW TIME, NEW CHANNEL
Expo used to be in mid-November, which gave me some time to recover from Raindance... but this year I have that one day (when I do laundry). I don’t know why they changed the dates... but now Expo happens at the exact same time as the Austin Film Festival. Coincidence? I was invited back to Austin, but had to decline due to Expo. Next year I may skip Expo and go to Austin.
The good news about Expo being at the airport hotels: Lots of places to go to lunch or dinner... and you can walk down the street without being involved in a drive by shooting. All of the hotels have restaurants and bars, and there’s a Burger King just across the street. Plus, a Denny’s if you want to walk a few blocks. This may not sound like much, but every year at Expo there was no place to go for a meal (except Original Pantry) after the Convention Center café closed. Also, no place to drink - and every party had to be catered at huge expense. Also, you *can* literally roll out of bed and go to class... which I did almost every morning. I really needed sleep, but I had a class to teach at 8am!
I end up in the hotel *between* both event hotels, which is convenient. Half my classes are at one hotel and the other half... well, I seem to never have two classes in a row at the same hotel. I’ll be doing a lot of walking... and some running. When you have a half hour between classes and you tend to run over and students tend to want to hang around afterwards and gab... you find yourself running to the next class. There’s a shuttle bus, but my timing seemed to always be off. All of the running around didn’t help the “tired factor”.
The biggest problem seemed to be very small rooms. There were big rooms... and some rooms (the California Suites) that where so small you couldn’t fit a class in them. One of my classes was in this shoe box with a Max Op of 30... and we had something like 40 people ten minutes before the class started. I was claustrophobic. Just beyond the doorway I could see the hotel’s pool and a covered area with lots of lounge chairs. I told the volunteer at the door that I was going to teach the class over there. The volunteer told me we’d need permission for that, and I replied that she could get the permission, while I took the class out to the pool. The volunteer went beyond the call of duty and actually got permission... and I had a group of people at poolside for a class! One woman rolled up her pants and put her feet in the pool. That’s California, baby!
Another problem was other events at the hotel. There was a 50th Class Reunion going on at the same time, and one night the lower lobby was packed with drunk old folks. Impossible to get around them to the up escalator - so you were trapped until they got too drunk to stand. There were also some panels on some other floor - I wanted to sit in on one, but by the time I figured out how to get there the thing was half over.
Another class was in some shoe box at the other hotel, and once we packed the room with about twice as many people as the fire marshal would allow, the place got really hot. Not enough AC for the crowd. We suffered through it... but it was not pleasant. People crowded *on the floor* with no AC. The heat was making me sleepy... I really need to get some sleep. My eyes are bloodshot, so I use those fancy designer sunglasses from the Raindance goody bag... then put them I my back pocket when I go to teach a class. Later that day I sit down... and break them. I think I wore them for half an hour.
After my last class on Sunday I wander into the Dealer Room... which seemed much smaller than the one at the Convention Center. Also, fewer dealers. The Expo sent me a bunch of letters about buying a table in the dealer room... and I tossed them. Usually I set up in the Script Magazine booth... often because Script wants me to run the danged booth for them. The first couple of years I ran the Script booth *and* taught classes. I closed the booth when I had a class. After complaining that I was the only writer for the magazine at the booth, they began scheduling others... who often didn’t show or didn’t stick around, so I ran the booth anyway. I finally said “No more!” and last year other people actually manned the booth. This year, Script wasn’t even there. They have their own event, now, and don’t need to go to Expo. Leaving me nowhere to sell my bag of CDs. I kept forgetting to mention the CDs and the website at my classes. I’m lousy at the business end of this thing - more interested in writing than money.
I really need to get some sleep... but there’s a party tonight.
REALLY EXPENSIVE BEER
Good thing about having the event at the hotel was they could have real parties - all of them were poolside. The Thursday night party had three bars (with lines) and crackers and cheese. I was standing in the long drink line, talking to one of my stalkers, Matt, and trying to stay awake... when I noticed the two hot women in really short white shorts.
Okay, all of us here are screenwriters. And I think very few of us would ever be confused with fashion models. If I ever did a Calvin Klein underwear ad, it would be banned by every civilized country... or shown to prisoners at Abu Ghraib prison as an interrogation technique they use after the waterboard fails. Screenwriters are not known for being “really hot”. If we were, we wouldn’t want to sit alone in a room for a living.
So when I saw these two really hot women, they seemed out of place. They were dressed to be noticed - and *everyone* noticed them. The woman in the drink line in front of me noticed them. They were the center of attention.
After paying a “hotel rate” for a beer, I watched the women stand in line for the cheese - there was a wheel of brie under a heat lamp that was the centerpiece of the spread. One of the hot women did something with the cheese knife that managed to *launch* the plate of brie across the poolside area, where it missed all of the screenwriters but managed to hit the walkway - shattering the plate into a zillion pieces and sending the brie wheel on a short roll that ended when the cheese wheel hit the eaten portion - kind of a flat tire. The two hot women took turns bowing - the center of attention! Then they *didn't* want to be the center of attention and zoomed to the back of the crowd... where my friend Rob latched onto them. Rob is a writer-producer who took my 2 day class once. He was laughing with them the rest of the night.
I had a couple more “hotel rate” beers, tried not to step in the brie, and retired to my room. I needed to get some sleep before my morning class.
There were parties every night, some with actual food. Pretty good food. Free food. I think that was the best thing about having the event at the hotels - free food.
HI BILL!
My picture is up there, and everyone know what I look like... so people are constantly stopping me in the halls and talking with me. Some of these people I know, some I can’t remember, others are people I have never met... but I keep thinking I’ve forgotten them from some other event. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep? I really need to sleep...
Matt, my stalker, was in the very first class I ever spoke to at Art Center Pasadena. He usually takes all my classes at Expo... following me from room to room. Since he’s this tall, long haired guy wearing what he describes as “bondage pants”, this can be kind of creepy. He has an interesting day job, selling search & rescue equipment - so he’s done all kind of search & rescue training. Matt will be spending more time pitching than following me from room to room this year.
I see these two guys who look familiar, and they “Hey Bill!” me... they were in the Arizona 2 day class. We have a couple of beers together at one of the parties.
A cute British gal introduces herself to me - she took my 2 day class at Raindance a couple of years ago. I tell her I just came from there - haven’t gotten over the jet lag, yet. In fact, have been so busy that I haven’t had any jet lag yet. I really need to sleep right now... but I probably won’t get to really sleep until this whole thing is over.
My friend Paul from NYC is there - I’ve known Paul online for over decade. He was one of the original Compuserve Screenwriting forum members. We have lunch one of the days... and I end up spilling mashed potatoes on my jeans... realizing this about halfway through my class when I look down for some reason. Swell.
I also meet Emily (White Board Markers blog) for 3 seconds. I’m standing in the never-ending-Starbucks-line and see this familiar face, but have no idea where I know her from. Since I see so many people at these events that I’ve seen from previous events, I often have that “I know you from somewhere” feeling. She’s working as a volunteer, trying to solve about a million problems at once, but races over for a second to say hello. Cool.
I meet a bunch of other people I know from online, which is always cool. As strange as this may sound, some of you folks are like family I’ve never met. Some of you folks I know from message boards and others from my site - and when I see your names on a CD order or something I “recognize” you. Always cool to meet you in person and put a face to the name.
Also in my classes are the Daws brothers (they won the contest and ended up with a Script Secrets messenger bag)... and Chris Billet, who has a brand new horror movie *UNREST* showing in Cinemas - you should all go! Here’s a website link: UNREST!
WHAT ARE THE OTHER GUYS DOING?
Last day of the Expo, and people are coming up to me in the halls and complimenting me on my classes. Most are telling me that mine were the best classes they took, and last year the student feedback put me in the “Gold Circle” or whatever they call it. This is kind of strange, because I’m so danged exhausted and in need of sleep that I think all of my classes have been challenges to stay awake. When people tell me they liked my classes, I ask “Why?” and the answers are kind of interesting. Seems that other teachers aren’t giving any actual information. Some are just plugging their classes or books for 2 hours (I keep forgetting to mention my free website, and I’m taking 98% of the CDs I brought from London to sell at Expo back home with me). Also, people are saying that I’m passionate and animated (I’m half asleep!). I think this is my most low energy Expo... so I wonder what the other guys are like. And how do you talk for 2 hours about *nothing*? That seems more difficult to me than talking about practical techniques you can use today. Easier to describe a hammer than describe a cloud.
Also, my theory is that a good class is the best plug for whatever I’m selling. If you get a lot of information out of the class, you’ll be more likely to buy a $5 Blue Book (it may have a lot of info, too). Of course, I forgot to plug my Blue Books and CDs and classes most of the time.
After Expo was over FunJoel had his annual bloggers party at the hotel’s sports bar. Though everyone in the world was invited, only a handful of folks showed up. We talked about everything under the sun. It was cool to meet people who write some of the other blogs I read. If you’ve got a blog, you need to show up next year!
After a few beers it was time for me to head home.... and finally get some sleep.
Well, not really... because Americn Film Market begins in just over a week and Thursday is the Final Draft Big Break Screenwriting Awards party...
Was that 10-11 days to get over jet lag or 10-11 days with 8 hours sleep to get over jet lag?
- Bill
But it’s the first day of the Screenwriter’s Expo in Los Angeles.
Since the very beginning, the Expo has been held at the LA Convention Center downtown. *Thousands* of screenwriters from all over the world pack the place for three days of wall-to-wall screenwriting classes and panels and lectures by people like William Goldman. The problem with downtown is that it’s bumper-to-bumper traffic all the way, and you wouldn’t want to park your car there... plus lot parking can be expensive. There are also few places to eat, and you need sterling credit to afford a convention center hot dog.
I live a block away from the Universal City subway station... oh, you didn’t know Los Angeles even had subway? Well, after having so much smog that the EPA could literally shut down the city, they decided to appease them with some mass transit. Every other city has mass transit, why not LA? Of course, LA is the pork-belly politics capitol of the world, so instead of a less expensive elevated rail system, they decided to have a classy subway. Sure it would cost billions and screw up traffic for years... but the subway would make Los Angeles a world class city like London....
Having just come from London, where I walked across the street from where I was staying and entered a subway station, then took the subway to the airport - there are *two* subway stations right inside Heathrow! ... I can tell you that the Los Angeles subway system is a huge joke. Due to all of the politics, it doesn’t go anywhere you would want to go. It sure as hell doesn’t get anywhere near the airport. It *does* go to MacArthur Park, where the heroin addicts hang out. It also goes to the Amtrak station. Of course, it had to stop at downtown Hollywood... where the hookers and cross-dressing hookers hang out. And there are no tickets or turnstiles, it’s all on the honor system... so the heroin addicts can hop a train and go someplace else.
But the one good thing about the subway - it *almost* goes to the Convention Center. Due to some stupid planning, it doesn’t quite make it, but you can connect to another silly toy train that takes you the dozen blocks to... well, still two blocks away from the Convention Center. Still, since I live a block from the subway station, it’s a million times faster than stop-and-go rush hour traffic. So, once a year I ride the subway... to Expo.
Except this year they’ve moved the Expo to a couple of airport hotels. The only traffic worse than going downtown is going to the airport. I once drove my friend Bob to the airport at 4am... and we were in stop-and-go traffic. Where are people going at 4am?
My Expo classes began this year at 10am and 8am and 10am... It would take me half the day to get there in rush hour traffic! And I mentioned the subway gets nowhere near the airport, right? So, while I’m waiting for my flight to London 2 weeks ago, I book a room in the hotel *between* the two hotels where they are holding the Expo. I can roll out of bed and go right to my 8am class! I check in on Thursday, and bump into someone who knows me from the website - I tell them I just got back from London and they say that it takes a full day for every hour in the air to get over jet-lag. I was in the air 10-11 hours... so is that just any day, or a day where you get 8 hours sleep?
I really need to sleep, but instead I go to the opening night party.
NEW TIME, NEW CHANNEL
Expo used to be in mid-November, which gave me some time to recover from Raindance... but this year I have that one day (when I do laundry). I don’t know why they changed the dates... but now Expo happens at the exact same time as the Austin Film Festival. Coincidence? I was invited back to Austin, but had to decline due to Expo. Next year I may skip Expo and go to Austin.
The good news about Expo being at the airport hotels: Lots of places to go to lunch or dinner... and you can walk down the street without being involved in a drive by shooting. All of the hotels have restaurants and bars, and there’s a Burger King just across the street. Plus, a Denny’s if you want to walk a few blocks. This may not sound like much, but every year at Expo there was no place to go for a meal (except Original Pantry) after the Convention Center café closed. Also, no place to drink - and every party had to be catered at huge expense. Also, you *can* literally roll out of bed and go to class... which I did almost every morning. I really needed sleep, but I had a class to teach at 8am!
I end up in the hotel *between* both event hotels, which is convenient. Half my classes are at one hotel and the other half... well, I seem to never have two classes in a row at the same hotel. I’ll be doing a lot of walking... and some running. When you have a half hour between classes and you tend to run over and students tend to want to hang around afterwards and gab... you find yourself running to the next class. There’s a shuttle bus, but my timing seemed to always be off. All of the running around didn’t help the “tired factor”.
The biggest problem seemed to be very small rooms. There were big rooms... and some rooms (the California Suites) that where so small you couldn’t fit a class in them. One of my classes was in this shoe box with a Max Op of 30... and we had something like 40 people ten minutes before the class started. I was claustrophobic. Just beyond the doorway I could see the hotel’s pool and a covered area with lots of lounge chairs. I told the volunteer at the door that I was going to teach the class over there. The volunteer told me we’d need permission for that, and I replied that she could get the permission, while I took the class out to the pool. The volunteer went beyond the call of duty and actually got permission... and I had a group of people at poolside for a class! One woman rolled up her pants and put her feet in the pool. That’s California, baby!
Another problem was other events at the hotel. There was a 50th Class Reunion going on at the same time, and one night the lower lobby was packed with drunk old folks. Impossible to get around them to the up escalator - so you were trapped until they got too drunk to stand. There were also some panels on some other floor - I wanted to sit in on one, but by the time I figured out how to get there the thing was half over.
Another class was in some shoe box at the other hotel, and once we packed the room with about twice as many people as the fire marshal would allow, the place got really hot. Not enough AC for the crowd. We suffered through it... but it was not pleasant. People crowded *on the floor* with no AC. The heat was making me sleepy... I really need to get some sleep. My eyes are bloodshot, so I use those fancy designer sunglasses from the Raindance goody bag... then put them I my back pocket when I go to teach a class. Later that day I sit down... and break them. I think I wore them for half an hour.
After my last class on Sunday I wander into the Dealer Room... which seemed much smaller than the one at the Convention Center. Also, fewer dealers. The Expo sent me a bunch of letters about buying a table in the dealer room... and I tossed them. Usually I set up in the Script Magazine booth... often because Script wants me to run the danged booth for them. The first couple of years I ran the Script booth *and* taught classes. I closed the booth when I had a class. After complaining that I was the only writer for the magazine at the booth, they began scheduling others... who often didn’t show or didn’t stick around, so I ran the booth anyway. I finally said “No more!” and last year other people actually manned the booth. This year, Script wasn’t even there. They have their own event, now, and don’t need to go to Expo. Leaving me nowhere to sell my bag of CDs. I kept forgetting to mention the CDs and the website at my classes. I’m lousy at the business end of this thing - more interested in writing than money.
I really need to get some sleep... but there’s a party tonight.
REALLY EXPENSIVE BEER
Good thing about having the event at the hotel was they could have real parties - all of them were poolside. The Thursday night party had three bars (with lines) and crackers and cheese. I was standing in the long drink line, talking to one of my stalkers, Matt, and trying to stay awake... when I noticed the two hot women in really short white shorts.
Okay, all of us here are screenwriters. And I think very few of us would ever be confused with fashion models. If I ever did a Calvin Klein underwear ad, it would be banned by every civilized country... or shown to prisoners at Abu Ghraib prison as an interrogation technique they use after the waterboard fails. Screenwriters are not known for being “really hot”. If we were, we wouldn’t want to sit alone in a room for a living.
So when I saw these two really hot women, they seemed out of place. They were dressed to be noticed - and *everyone* noticed them. The woman in the drink line in front of me noticed them. They were the center of attention.
After paying a “hotel rate” for a beer, I watched the women stand in line for the cheese - there was a wheel of brie under a heat lamp that was the centerpiece of the spread. One of the hot women did something with the cheese knife that managed to *launch* the plate of brie across the poolside area, where it missed all of the screenwriters but managed to hit the walkway - shattering the plate into a zillion pieces and sending the brie wheel on a short roll that ended when the cheese wheel hit the eaten portion - kind of a flat tire. The two hot women took turns bowing - the center of attention! Then they *didn't* want to be the center of attention and zoomed to the back of the crowd... where my friend Rob latched onto them. Rob is a writer-producer who took my 2 day class once. He was laughing with them the rest of the night.
I had a couple more “hotel rate” beers, tried not to step in the brie, and retired to my room. I needed to get some sleep before my morning class.
There were parties every night, some with actual food. Pretty good food. Free food. I think that was the best thing about having the event at the hotels - free food.
HI BILL!
My picture is up there, and everyone know what I look like... so people are constantly stopping me in the halls and talking with me. Some of these people I know, some I can’t remember, others are people I have never met... but I keep thinking I’ve forgotten them from some other event. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep? I really need to sleep...
Matt, my stalker, was in the very first class I ever spoke to at Art Center Pasadena. He usually takes all my classes at Expo... following me from room to room. Since he’s this tall, long haired guy wearing what he describes as “bondage pants”, this can be kind of creepy. He has an interesting day job, selling search & rescue equipment - so he’s done all kind of search & rescue training. Matt will be spending more time pitching than following me from room to room this year.
I see these two guys who look familiar, and they “Hey Bill!” me... they were in the Arizona 2 day class. We have a couple of beers together at one of the parties.
A cute British gal introduces herself to me - she took my 2 day class at Raindance a couple of years ago. I tell her I just came from there - haven’t gotten over the jet lag, yet. In fact, have been so busy that I haven’t had any jet lag yet. I really need to sleep right now... but I probably won’t get to really sleep until this whole thing is over.
My friend Paul from NYC is there - I’ve known Paul online for over decade. He was one of the original Compuserve Screenwriting forum members. We have lunch one of the days... and I end up spilling mashed potatoes on my jeans... realizing this about halfway through my class when I look down for some reason. Swell.
I also meet Emily (White Board Markers blog) for 3 seconds. I’m standing in the never-ending-Starbucks-line and see this familiar face, but have no idea where I know her from. Since I see so many people at these events that I’ve seen from previous events, I often have that “I know you from somewhere” feeling. She’s working as a volunteer, trying to solve about a million problems at once, but races over for a second to say hello. Cool.
I meet a bunch of other people I know from online, which is always cool. As strange as this may sound, some of you folks are like family I’ve never met. Some of you folks I know from message boards and others from my site - and when I see your names on a CD order or something I “recognize” you. Always cool to meet you in person and put a face to the name.
Also in my classes are the Daws brothers (they won the contest and ended up with a Script Secrets messenger bag)... and Chris Billet, who has a brand new horror movie *UNREST* showing in Cinemas - you should all go! Here’s a website link: UNREST!
WHAT ARE THE OTHER GUYS DOING?
Last day of the Expo, and people are coming up to me in the halls and complimenting me on my classes. Most are telling me that mine were the best classes they took, and last year the student feedback put me in the “Gold Circle” or whatever they call it. This is kind of strange, because I’m so danged exhausted and in need of sleep that I think all of my classes have been challenges to stay awake. When people tell me they liked my classes, I ask “Why?” and the answers are kind of interesting. Seems that other teachers aren’t giving any actual information. Some are just plugging their classes or books for 2 hours (I keep forgetting to mention my free website, and I’m taking 98% of the CDs I brought from London to sell at Expo back home with me). Also, people are saying that I’m passionate and animated (I’m half asleep!). I think this is my most low energy Expo... so I wonder what the other guys are like. And how do you talk for 2 hours about *nothing*? That seems more difficult to me than talking about practical techniques you can use today. Easier to describe a hammer than describe a cloud.
Also, my theory is that a good class is the best plug for whatever I’m selling. If you get a lot of information out of the class, you’ll be more likely to buy a $5 Blue Book (it may have a lot of info, too). Of course, I forgot to plug my Blue Books and CDs and classes most of the time.
After Expo was over FunJoel had his annual bloggers party at the hotel’s sports bar. Though everyone in the world was invited, only a handful of folks showed up. We talked about everything under the sun. It was cool to meet people who write some of the other blogs I read. If you’ve got a blog, you need to show up next year!
After a few beers it was time for me to head home.... and finally get some sleep.
Well, not really... because Americn Film Market begins in just over a week and Thursday is the Final Draft Big Break Screenwriting Awards party...
Was that 10-11 days to get over jet lag or 10-11 days with 8 hours sleep to get over jet lag?
- Bill
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Bill In London - Raindance Wrap Up (rest of the fest)
A film festival isn't just movies... it's an adventure!
CLOSING NIGHT
One of the fun things about Raindance is that I see the same people every time I’m at the festival. Some I have a nodding relationship with, others - like Janet - I hang out with. Janet is a regular on my website, and comes to Raindance every year. She told me that her boss automatically schedules her for half days during the festival. She sees a zillion movies over the two weeks, then goes back to her normal life for another year. We’ve bumped into each other at several screenings, and I’ve also bumped into Phil - a distrib from Spain who is a Raindance regular.
I was a little worried that I wouldn’t get into the closing night screening, because everything has been sold out (and opening and closing nights have stars in attendance - and they announce the winners). There’s a ticket shortage... and I’m hoping my badge will get me in. I walk with Janet and some other folks from the Troc Cinema to the huge cinema at Haymarket where they have the closing night movie. No one in the group has an extra ticket. At the Cinema, I look around for Elliot... limos are pulling up with actual stars. Not Ewan McGregor, but many of the other folks from SCENES OF A SEXUAL NATURE. I ask a couple of Raindance folks if they have a ticket or have seen Elliot... nope.
I also bump into Oscar who used to be with the festival and Oli who left the festival to become a film distributor... he released MAN PUSH CART. I talk with Jamie (Mr. Raindance Shorts) about the TALES OF TIMES SQUARE movie, and how much it resembles DEAD PEOPLE from 2 years ago.... Still no Elliot.
Then, moments before they wave the crowd in, Elliot shows with a ticket for me. I end up sitting next to Janet in the balcony - miles away from the screen. There’s a goody bag... I end up getting a nice woman’s watch, a woman's designer coin purse, a pair of fancy diamond studded *men’s* sunglasses (something I can use!), and a three pack of condoms. I later find out that there were men’s watches and wallets and the people in front got all kinds of other stuff like huge chocolate bars and CDs and gift cards and... well, you get screwed sitting in back.
After the movie, there’s a big party in some danged night club. Another walk... this time, imagine hundreds of people from a movie *all* walking down the same street to the same club... then trying to get past the door guys. Basically, hundreds of people crowding a street as they are let in one by one.
We get in, and it’s the normal film fest party. So, you have these intelligent people who love discussing movies, and you give them free booze, and then you crank up the disco music to levels that have been banned by the Geneva Convention. My ears are about to start bleeding when this attractive blonde woman from Idaho (or someplace) comes up to talk with me. She’s a film maker, recently divorced... and we have to move our faces *really* close to hear what each other are saying. She smells good... probably much better than I smell, since I was up early to teach my class. Some disco dan guy walks past, giving her the eye... and she moves even closer to me (if that’s even possible). I’m thinking about two things: the condoms in my goody bag and that f***ing sofa in the production office. I ask where she’s staying (hoping she has a bed) and she tells me she’s sharing a room with some other female film makers. “You know, in the old days they used to edit on tables big enough to sleep on, now it’s all done on computers.” Did I say that out loud? Yikes! She replies that she edited her short on computer. The disco dan comes by again... and she moves close to me. Within kissing distance. But I’m shy and wonder how awful my breath is after a day of mochas and Chinese food and free beer. I almost go for it, but when the disco dan guy moves away, so does she...
She tells me that she’s trying to avoid that guy. She went out to dinner with him during the festival, and he got the wrong idea (the same idea that I have) and I realize that *I’m* the condom. I’m protecting her from this disco dan guy. Swell... Bill the nice guy strikes again. She looked at me and just knew I was nice... I give off that non-threatening vibe. Just once I want to give off the dangerous bad boy vibe and maybe use the condoms in the goody bag... even if the sofa killed me in the process.
Free beers. After a couple I was really feeling it - which is strange. I'm a big guy and not a lightweight. Last year at this time I was in Austin (another fest) and we often began drinking early in the day - I have no idea how many drinks I'd have in a day, there - but *many*. So two or three beers shouldn't have had me wobbly. That's when I realized I hadn't eaten at all that day... and hadn't had much to eat the day before.
Lots of free beer (and other drinks) but trying to talk over the torture-loud disco music has made my throat raw... and I have to teach a class tomorrow. The hot divorcee asks me if I’ll walk her to the tube station - it closes in ten minutes. She’s afraid disco dan will follow her back to her hotel. Sure. We walk through the romantic London streets to the tube station, carrying our goody bags. Catch the last train. Her stop is Russell Square, like mine. We exit the tube station and nothing in the goody bag gets used that night...
Though I would have to use the sunglasses the next morning.
I entered the production office, racing to the alarm key pad and praying I could punch in the numbers before the police cars showed up, and tried to find a comfortable position on the sofa... not easy when you’re over 6 foot tall.
MONDAY
The Mystery Class. I don’t even know where it is. I have no e-mail on subjects, so I’ve brought along my ideas class. It’s a good general purpose class. I walk to the Raindance office, grabbing a Café Nero along the way (my 5th stamp - halfway to a free mocha!). Elliot walks me to the venue - a private club with a meeting room and a dining room. This is group of writers, directors, producers, and agents who have all been assigned a mentor... and are meeting for the first time. Before I do my talk, Elliot does a ten minute commercial for Raindance. Swell. I do my class, and it goes well. It’s interesting that the country responsible for some of the greatest sci-fi and some of the greatest crime films... not to mention Hitchcock... has so many creative folks who seem *amazed* by the very concept of using your imagination when coming up with stories or scenes or characters. It’s like the “brain drain” from IPCRESS FILE was administered to the entire population. These folks need an imagination kick start! They've been watching too many remakes of Jane Austen novels. Folks, you have imaginations... it's okay to use them!
A good talk... and again I forget to mention my CDs. I’m going to end up taking the whole damned bag home with me to LA.
After my class, they serve lunch. Would I care to stay? Free meal? Sure? Elliot splits. The tables are set up by occupation - which makes no sense to me. So all of the screenwriters are sitting together and all of the producers are sitting on the opposite side of the room. No interaction! One of the writers at my table is an ex journalist... who interviewed me almost a decade ago! After eating a little, I realize how dog-tired and hung over I am... and try to stay awake long for the rest of the lunch.
I wander through Leicester Square later that night, looking for a movie... but all of the show times are off. I either just missed them or they don’t start for over an hour. I end up catching a late show of some American movie I’ve already seen on Tottencourt Road and fight to stay away. I walk back to the production office, the heavenly smell of grilled onions and sausages from the carts making me hungry. At night, all of these carts pop up - catering to the drunks staggering out of the pubs. I’ve never had one of the sausages, even though I’ve been one of those drunks.
Back at the production office, I fumble with the keys and then have to race to punch in the alarm code... making it with only couple of seconds to spare.
TUESDAY
The film festival is over and it's the first day I didn't have to get up early and be someplace at a certain time to teach a class or attend a screening.
For some reason, the lack of sleep decided to catch up with me today - and I'm a zombie. That sucks, because I'm meeting some fellow screenwriters for a few pints tonight. I know a bunch of people from my website and various message boards, and when I show up in their country I always drink with them. Tonight is the Done Deal group - I’ve drank with them every year I’ve come to London. It’s a great group, and I have many fond memories of staggering through London with English Dave and EJ and Wolfy trying to find Dave’s private club after all of the pubs closed. By the time we got there, it was very late... and the guy at the door informed us that there was a dress code that Dave didn’t meet. (He was wearing shorts and Hawaiian shirt.) Anyway, word is out on message boards that if you show up at the Holbourn tube station at 7:30, you can drink with us. Anyone can.
I make an appearance at the Raindance office, then grab some lunch. I need to eat enough to absorb a whole bunch of alcohol.
Before leaving for London I made vow to eat vegetarian while I’m here. I’ve been eating all kinds of really fatty food, and I’m not getting any thinner doing that. London is filled with veggie restaurants - if you go into McDonalds they have vegetarian meals! - and there are many many Indian vegetarian restaurants. The food is good, and usually it’s a buffet. So it should be easy to go veggie for a couple of weeks, right?
Well, so far I’ve failed. The festival is close to Chinatown, and once again I’ve been mostly eating Chinese. There’s this cruddy chain of Chinese buffets called Mr. Wu’s. All you can eat for L5. But the food is kind of junky, and not much selection. The first time I went to London, I did a blog entry (on my website) about getting completely lost because I used Mr. Wu’s as a landmark... not realizing that there are a million of them in London and they all look the same. This place doesn’t look like a chain, it looks like a hole in the wall that’s about to be closed by the health department. I’ve also learned my lesson about the buffets in Chinatown that offer 17 dishes for L6 and have barkers at the doors... you end up going up stairs to some really grungy place right out of HOSTEL where they serve you things that were probably scraped from the plates in other restaurants. So, I see a buffet for around L10 with some pretty good food and very nice tables, and go in. The food is pretty good - but lots of deep fried stuff and wonton and stuff... plus some good entrees with lots of meat. I stuff myself. When the bill comes, it’s Mr. Wu’s... the upscale location! Twice the price, but much much better food. So I eat there regularly during the festival and a few times afterwards. I also eat at a sit down, waiters and waitresses Pizza Hut once. But only eat vegetarian twice - on the days I teach my two day class. I swear, I return from London fatter than I left.
I walk to the Holbourn tube station, getting slightly lost along the way due to a curved street. I ask a police officer at a *crime scene* for directions, and he points me to the tube station. I meet up with the group, we head to a pub, and serious drinking begins. Dave has great stories about a TV show he’s working on that has more drama behind the scenes than on screen, and Wolfy talks about his scripts. We all drink and drink and drink some more. And laugh. A lot. Later, Dave does a blog entry about how he’s not funny enough to write comedies - but I have to tell you, he’s funny-as-hell in real life. When they get ready to close the pub, we leave... I’m staggering. Really wobbly. I manage to make it to the tube station *seconds* before they close the gate. That’s a good thing, because I’m having trouble standing... let alone walking. I get on a packed subway car, ride it to my stop, stagger up the stairs and then have to face the frigging door and alarm system race against time.
I’ve learned a trick - the key that starts the alarm clock needs to go first. This lock is more difficult, but once it’s unlocked, the others are a breeze and the door opens. Unfortunately, this means I have less time with the alarm key pad. I take a deep breath, and start inserting and turning keys. I get the door open, stumble in, and then search my pockets for the danged alarm code - should have had that out before I started unlocking the door. Is that it? No, it’s a cinema ticket stub. How about that? Nope, blonde divorcee’s business card. How about that? Nope, Café Nero coffee card... 8 stamps (three to go!). How about that? Right... now I just have to punch in the numbers. Just like in a James Bond movie, I get the alarm de-activated with a second to spare.
THURSDAY
Whenever I’m in London I always have dinner with my friend Iain. I know him from the Wordplay boards. Iain is now a professional comic book writer - check out Event Horizon #2 - as well as a screenwriter. Raindance gives me some expense money for meals, and because I’m low maintenance, I never spend all of it. So I always buy Iain a dinner (on Raindance) - it’s tradition. One year, we went to some fancy Chinese place and I decided to order enough food so that Iain could take home a bunch of stuff and eat off Raindance for about a week. Great plan... but they don’t “doggie bag” in England. What you don’t eat gets scraped into the trash... and probably ends up at that awful upstairs buffet on tomorrow’s menu... the barker describing it as fresh and delicious.
We meet at the British Museum (mummyland) and walk across town to this Italian restaurant Iain wants to try in Covent Garden (where Hitchcock’s FRENZY takes place). A small, family restaurant. We get there just before the dinner hour, and the place is almost empty - the wait-staff is actually having dinner at a table together. I tell Iain he can order anything - Raindance is paying. I also order anything - who cares about the price? I order a couple of beers and some garlic cheese bread as an appetizer. Our waiter brings us bread and a plate of olives and pickles. Delicious. The garlic cheese bread arrives... and it’s a pizza. Like a medium cheese pizza with garlic. Um, okay. I have a slice or two. The waiter takes away the olives and real bread... too bad, because those olives were tasty. Our entrees come, and the waiter takes away the pizza. The food is great - more meat and vegetables than pasta (though there is pasta). The waiter keeps trying to take away our plates while we’re eating... he’s hovering. Iain tells me about his new comic book - his creation. Sounds cool. It’s great when people I know have success - and Iain deserves it. He works hard.
The waiter hangs around, waiting for either of us to put down our forks so that he can steal our plates like he stole the pizza and olives. When we finally finish he takes the plates... and then disappears. When we’re ready to leave, we have to bill to pay. No sign of our waiter. Eventually (maybe a half hour later!) he surfaces and brings the bill. Over $100!!!!! There was a charge for the olives, and a charge just for sitting down (glass of water). Hey, that’s not a lot of money for a meal, but this was kind of a small family restaurant... not some fancy place. Doesn’t really matter - it was on Raindance.
(The stranger thing about this is that I've dropped $200 on DVDs without thinking. So maybe this is about being responsible with other people's money? I guarentee, no one else Raindance brings over thinks twice before dropping $200 on dinner.)
FRIDAY
I have a meeting with a couple of screenwriters who took my class a few years ago. We’re going to have coffee and discuss their new project. We meet in a movie theater bar (yes, you can do shooters of tequila, then see a movie in London) and talk about their script and scripts in general. I get my 9th punch on my Café Nero card on the way to the meeting - just one more coffee and I get a free large mocha absolutely free!
Tomorrow I have to teach my big 2 day class. Even with the crappy publicity, there are a bunch of sign ups. This is the first time I’ve ever done the Character First version in London, and I’ve tried to use as many British films s examples as possible. HISTORY BOYS just opened, so I’ve decided to see it - maybe there will be some good class examples. I go to a cinema in Leicester Square, where the ticket costs me L13... which is about $26 American. I also buy a soft drink and some sweet popcorn... almost $20! That great Italian meal from last night is seeming a lot less expensive.
I walk home after the movie and prepare for my class... two days of non-stop talking.
SATURDAY & SUNDAY
Walking from the production office to the class venue I pass no Café Neros. None. There’s a little coffee and sandwich shop that provides me with the drugs I need to get through the day. The class goes well, one of the students who signed up after one of my Film Fest classes is the son of the editor of the first 3 STAR WARS movies (cool) and asks all kinds of great questions. He knows about movies. He even corrects me once when I use a British example and get something wrong (haven’t seen that movie in decades - not available on DVD in the USA, but easy to find here). I break my rule and have lunch with him and some other students at a vegetarian Indian place. I try *not* to have lunch with students because I’ll just talk the whole time and I need to save my voice for the class.
Sunday, the coffee and sandwich shop is closed... I end up drinking McDonald’s coffee. Still one stamp short of a free coffee at Café Nero. Class goes well, with one exception - the DVD player is Region 2, and I have a US DVD that won’t play in it. My clips DVD is Region 0 - so that isn’t a problem, but I have a cool new class thing where we read a scene from a script, then see what it looks like in the film. Except, we can’t see what it looks like in the film. Oops.
I eat lunch alone in another Indian veggie place - my voice is really raw.
That night I see DEPARTED and hit the sofa. Next morning I get my 10th stamp at Café Nero... my next coffee (any size, any type) is free. I head to the Raindance office to collect my check... but there’s a snafu and they’ll have to mail me the check. Crap. The good news is - Raindance is good about actually paying me. But it’s always nice to have that check in my pocket when I leave.
My flight is Tuesday... and to get to Heathrow 4 hours early (international) and allow for the tube ride and waking up and... well, I’m going to have to leave early. No time to stop by Café Nero to get my free coffee. I fly home with the card with all 10 stamps in my pocket. Maybe next time...
Because we’re following the sun, it’s a really long Tuesday. I arrive at LAX, have some issues with the FlyAway airport bus that will eventually pop up in an earlier blog entry, and get home early Wednesday morning. On Thursday, I’m at the Screenwriter’s Expo back at LAX and I don’t have any clean clothes.... but I have a full bag of CDs to sell.
- Bill
CLOSING NIGHT
One of the fun things about Raindance is that I see the same people every time I’m at the festival. Some I have a nodding relationship with, others - like Janet - I hang out with. Janet is a regular on my website, and comes to Raindance every year. She told me that her boss automatically schedules her for half days during the festival. She sees a zillion movies over the two weeks, then goes back to her normal life for another year. We’ve bumped into each other at several screenings, and I’ve also bumped into Phil - a distrib from Spain who is a Raindance regular.
I was a little worried that I wouldn’t get into the closing night screening, because everything has been sold out (and opening and closing nights have stars in attendance - and they announce the winners). There’s a ticket shortage... and I’m hoping my badge will get me in. I walk with Janet and some other folks from the Troc Cinema to the huge cinema at Haymarket where they have the closing night movie. No one in the group has an extra ticket. At the Cinema, I look around for Elliot... limos are pulling up with actual stars. Not Ewan McGregor, but many of the other folks from SCENES OF A SEXUAL NATURE. I ask a couple of Raindance folks if they have a ticket or have seen Elliot... nope.
I also bump into Oscar who used to be with the festival and Oli who left the festival to become a film distributor... he released MAN PUSH CART. I talk with Jamie (Mr. Raindance Shorts) about the TALES OF TIMES SQUARE movie, and how much it resembles DEAD PEOPLE from 2 years ago.... Still no Elliot.
Then, moments before they wave the crowd in, Elliot shows with a ticket for me. I end up sitting next to Janet in the balcony - miles away from the screen. There’s a goody bag... I end up getting a nice woman’s watch, a woman's designer coin purse, a pair of fancy diamond studded *men’s* sunglasses (something I can use!), and a three pack of condoms. I later find out that there were men’s watches and wallets and the people in front got all kinds of other stuff like huge chocolate bars and CDs and gift cards and... well, you get screwed sitting in back.
After the movie, there’s a big party in some danged night club. Another walk... this time, imagine hundreds of people from a movie *all* walking down the same street to the same club... then trying to get past the door guys. Basically, hundreds of people crowding a street as they are let in one by one.
We get in, and it’s the normal film fest party. So, you have these intelligent people who love discussing movies, and you give them free booze, and then you crank up the disco music to levels that have been banned by the Geneva Convention. My ears are about to start bleeding when this attractive blonde woman from Idaho (or someplace) comes up to talk with me. She’s a film maker, recently divorced... and we have to move our faces *really* close to hear what each other are saying. She smells good... probably much better than I smell, since I was up early to teach my class. Some disco dan guy walks past, giving her the eye... and she moves even closer to me (if that’s even possible). I’m thinking about two things: the condoms in my goody bag and that f***ing sofa in the production office. I ask where she’s staying (hoping she has a bed) and she tells me she’s sharing a room with some other female film makers. “You know, in the old days they used to edit on tables big enough to sleep on, now it’s all done on computers.” Did I say that out loud? Yikes! She replies that she edited her short on computer. The disco dan comes by again... and she moves close to me. Within kissing distance. But I’m shy and wonder how awful my breath is after a day of mochas and Chinese food and free beer. I almost go for it, but when the disco dan guy moves away, so does she...
She tells me that she’s trying to avoid that guy. She went out to dinner with him during the festival, and he got the wrong idea (the same idea that I have) and I realize that *I’m* the condom. I’m protecting her from this disco dan guy. Swell... Bill the nice guy strikes again. She looked at me and just knew I was nice... I give off that non-threatening vibe. Just once I want to give off the dangerous bad boy vibe and maybe use the condoms in the goody bag... even if the sofa killed me in the process.
Free beers. After a couple I was really feeling it - which is strange. I'm a big guy and not a lightweight. Last year at this time I was in Austin (another fest) and we often began drinking early in the day - I have no idea how many drinks I'd have in a day, there - but *many*. So two or three beers shouldn't have had me wobbly. That's when I realized I hadn't eaten at all that day... and hadn't had much to eat the day before.
Lots of free beer (and other drinks) but trying to talk over the torture-loud disco music has made my throat raw... and I have to teach a class tomorrow. The hot divorcee asks me if I’ll walk her to the tube station - it closes in ten minutes. She’s afraid disco dan will follow her back to her hotel. Sure. We walk through the romantic London streets to the tube station, carrying our goody bags. Catch the last train. Her stop is Russell Square, like mine. We exit the tube station and nothing in the goody bag gets used that night...
Though I would have to use the sunglasses the next morning.
I entered the production office, racing to the alarm key pad and praying I could punch in the numbers before the police cars showed up, and tried to find a comfortable position on the sofa... not easy when you’re over 6 foot tall.
MONDAY
The Mystery Class. I don’t even know where it is. I have no e-mail on subjects, so I’ve brought along my ideas class. It’s a good general purpose class. I walk to the Raindance office, grabbing a Café Nero along the way (my 5th stamp - halfway to a free mocha!). Elliot walks me to the venue - a private club with a meeting room and a dining room. This is group of writers, directors, producers, and agents who have all been assigned a mentor... and are meeting for the first time. Before I do my talk, Elliot does a ten minute commercial for Raindance. Swell. I do my class, and it goes well. It’s interesting that the country responsible for some of the greatest sci-fi and some of the greatest crime films... not to mention Hitchcock... has so many creative folks who seem *amazed* by the very concept of using your imagination when coming up with stories or scenes or characters. It’s like the “brain drain” from IPCRESS FILE was administered to the entire population. These folks need an imagination kick start! They've been watching too many remakes of Jane Austen novels. Folks, you have imaginations... it's okay to use them!
A good talk... and again I forget to mention my CDs. I’m going to end up taking the whole damned bag home with me to LA.
After my class, they serve lunch. Would I care to stay? Free meal? Sure? Elliot splits. The tables are set up by occupation - which makes no sense to me. So all of the screenwriters are sitting together and all of the producers are sitting on the opposite side of the room. No interaction! One of the writers at my table is an ex journalist... who interviewed me almost a decade ago! After eating a little, I realize how dog-tired and hung over I am... and try to stay awake long for the rest of the lunch.
I wander through Leicester Square later that night, looking for a movie... but all of the show times are off. I either just missed them or they don’t start for over an hour. I end up catching a late show of some American movie I’ve already seen on Tottencourt Road and fight to stay away. I walk back to the production office, the heavenly smell of grilled onions and sausages from the carts making me hungry. At night, all of these carts pop up - catering to the drunks staggering out of the pubs. I’ve never had one of the sausages, even though I’ve been one of those drunks.
Back at the production office, I fumble with the keys and then have to race to punch in the alarm code... making it with only couple of seconds to spare.
TUESDAY
The film festival is over and it's the first day I didn't have to get up early and be someplace at a certain time to teach a class or attend a screening.
For some reason, the lack of sleep decided to catch up with me today - and I'm a zombie. That sucks, because I'm meeting some fellow screenwriters for a few pints tonight. I know a bunch of people from my website and various message boards, and when I show up in their country I always drink with them. Tonight is the Done Deal group - I’ve drank with them every year I’ve come to London. It’s a great group, and I have many fond memories of staggering through London with English Dave and EJ and Wolfy trying to find Dave’s private club after all of the pubs closed. By the time we got there, it was very late... and the guy at the door informed us that there was a dress code that Dave didn’t meet. (He was wearing shorts and Hawaiian shirt.) Anyway, word is out on message boards that if you show up at the Holbourn tube station at 7:30, you can drink with us. Anyone can.
I make an appearance at the Raindance office, then grab some lunch. I need to eat enough to absorb a whole bunch of alcohol.
Before leaving for London I made vow to eat vegetarian while I’m here. I’ve been eating all kinds of really fatty food, and I’m not getting any thinner doing that. London is filled with veggie restaurants - if you go into McDonalds they have vegetarian meals! - and there are many many Indian vegetarian restaurants. The food is good, and usually it’s a buffet. So it should be easy to go veggie for a couple of weeks, right?
Well, so far I’ve failed. The festival is close to Chinatown, and once again I’ve been mostly eating Chinese. There’s this cruddy chain of Chinese buffets called Mr. Wu’s. All you can eat for L5. But the food is kind of junky, and not much selection. The first time I went to London, I did a blog entry (on my website) about getting completely lost because I used Mr. Wu’s as a landmark... not realizing that there are a million of them in London and they all look the same. This place doesn’t look like a chain, it looks like a hole in the wall that’s about to be closed by the health department. I’ve also learned my lesson about the buffets in Chinatown that offer 17 dishes for L6 and have barkers at the doors... you end up going up stairs to some really grungy place right out of HOSTEL where they serve you things that were probably scraped from the plates in other restaurants. So, I see a buffet for around L10 with some pretty good food and very nice tables, and go in. The food is pretty good - but lots of deep fried stuff and wonton and stuff... plus some good entrees with lots of meat. I stuff myself. When the bill comes, it’s Mr. Wu’s... the upscale location! Twice the price, but much much better food. So I eat there regularly during the festival and a few times afterwards. I also eat at a sit down, waiters and waitresses Pizza Hut once. But only eat vegetarian twice - on the days I teach my two day class. I swear, I return from London fatter than I left.
I walk to the Holbourn tube station, getting slightly lost along the way due to a curved street. I ask a police officer at a *crime scene* for directions, and he points me to the tube station. I meet up with the group, we head to a pub, and serious drinking begins. Dave has great stories about a TV show he’s working on that has more drama behind the scenes than on screen, and Wolfy talks about his scripts. We all drink and drink and drink some more. And laugh. A lot. Later, Dave does a blog entry about how he’s not funny enough to write comedies - but I have to tell you, he’s funny-as-hell in real life. When they get ready to close the pub, we leave... I’m staggering. Really wobbly. I manage to make it to the tube station *seconds* before they close the gate. That’s a good thing, because I’m having trouble standing... let alone walking. I get on a packed subway car, ride it to my stop, stagger up the stairs and then have to face the frigging door and alarm system race against time.
I’ve learned a trick - the key that starts the alarm clock needs to go first. This lock is more difficult, but once it’s unlocked, the others are a breeze and the door opens. Unfortunately, this means I have less time with the alarm key pad. I take a deep breath, and start inserting and turning keys. I get the door open, stumble in, and then search my pockets for the danged alarm code - should have had that out before I started unlocking the door. Is that it? No, it’s a cinema ticket stub. How about that? Nope, blonde divorcee’s business card. How about that? Nope, Café Nero coffee card... 8 stamps (three to go!). How about that? Right... now I just have to punch in the numbers. Just like in a James Bond movie, I get the alarm de-activated with a second to spare.
THURSDAY
Whenever I’m in London I always have dinner with my friend Iain. I know him from the Wordplay boards. Iain is now a professional comic book writer - check out Event Horizon #2 - as well as a screenwriter. Raindance gives me some expense money for meals, and because I’m low maintenance, I never spend all of it. So I always buy Iain a dinner (on Raindance) - it’s tradition. One year, we went to some fancy Chinese place and I decided to order enough food so that Iain could take home a bunch of stuff and eat off Raindance for about a week. Great plan... but they don’t “doggie bag” in England. What you don’t eat gets scraped into the trash... and probably ends up at that awful upstairs buffet on tomorrow’s menu... the barker describing it as fresh and delicious.
We meet at the British Museum (mummyland) and walk across town to this Italian restaurant Iain wants to try in Covent Garden (where Hitchcock’s FRENZY takes place). A small, family restaurant. We get there just before the dinner hour, and the place is almost empty - the wait-staff is actually having dinner at a table together. I tell Iain he can order anything - Raindance is paying. I also order anything - who cares about the price? I order a couple of beers and some garlic cheese bread as an appetizer. Our waiter brings us bread and a plate of olives and pickles. Delicious. The garlic cheese bread arrives... and it’s a pizza. Like a medium cheese pizza with garlic. Um, okay. I have a slice or two. The waiter takes away the olives and real bread... too bad, because those olives were tasty. Our entrees come, and the waiter takes away the pizza. The food is great - more meat and vegetables than pasta (though there is pasta). The waiter keeps trying to take away our plates while we’re eating... he’s hovering. Iain tells me about his new comic book - his creation. Sounds cool. It’s great when people I know have success - and Iain deserves it. He works hard.
The waiter hangs around, waiting for either of us to put down our forks so that he can steal our plates like he stole the pizza and olives. When we finally finish he takes the plates... and then disappears. When we’re ready to leave, we have to bill to pay. No sign of our waiter. Eventually (maybe a half hour later!) he surfaces and brings the bill. Over $100!!!!! There was a charge for the olives, and a charge just for sitting down (glass of water). Hey, that’s not a lot of money for a meal, but this was kind of a small family restaurant... not some fancy place. Doesn’t really matter - it was on Raindance.
(The stranger thing about this is that I've dropped $200 on DVDs without thinking. So maybe this is about being responsible with other people's money? I guarentee, no one else Raindance brings over thinks twice before dropping $200 on dinner.)
FRIDAY
I have a meeting with a couple of screenwriters who took my class a few years ago. We’re going to have coffee and discuss their new project. We meet in a movie theater bar (yes, you can do shooters of tequila, then see a movie in London) and talk about their script and scripts in general. I get my 9th punch on my Café Nero card on the way to the meeting - just one more coffee and I get a free large mocha absolutely free!
Tomorrow I have to teach my big 2 day class. Even with the crappy publicity, there are a bunch of sign ups. This is the first time I’ve ever done the Character First version in London, and I’ve tried to use as many British films s examples as possible. HISTORY BOYS just opened, so I’ve decided to see it - maybe there will be some good class examples. I go to a cinema in Leicester Square, where the ticket costs me L13... which is about $26 American. I also buy a soft drink and some sweet popcorn... almost $20! That great Italian meal from last night is seeming a lot less expensive.
I walk home after the movie and prepare for my class... two days of non-stop talking.
SATURDAY & SUNDAY
Walking from the production office to the class venue I pass no Café Neros. None. There’s a little coffee and sandwich shop that provides me with the drugs I need to get through the day. The class goes well, one of the students who signed up after one of my Film Fest classes is the son of the editor of the first 3 STAR WARS movies (cool) and asks all kinds of great questions. He knows about movies. He even corrects me once when I use a British example and get something wrong (haven’t seen that movie in decades - not available on DVD in the USA, but easy to find here). I break my rule and have lunch with him and some other students at a vegetarian Indian place. I try *not* to have lunch with students because I’ll just talk the whole time and I need to save my voice for the class.
Sunday, the coffee and sandwich shop is closed... I end up drinking McDonald’s coffee. Still one stamp short of a free coffee at Café Nero. Class goes well, with one exception - the DVD player is Region 2, and I have a US DVD that won’t play in it. My clips DVD is Region 0 - so that isn’t a problem, but I have a cool new class thing where we read a scene from a script, then see what it looks like in the film. Except, we can’t see what it looks like in the film. Oops.
I eat lunch alone in another Indian veggie place - my voice is really raw.
That night I see DEPARTED and hit the sofa. Next morning I get my 10th stamp at Café Nero... my next coffee (any size, any type) is free. I head to the Raindance office to collect my check... but there’s a snafu and they’ll have to mail me the check. Crap. The good news is - Raindance is good about actually paying me. But it’s always nice to have that check in my pocket when I leave.
My flight is Tuesday... and to get to Heathrow 4 hours early (international) and allow for the tube ride and waking up and... well, I’m going to have to leave early. No time to stop by Café Nero to get my free coffee. I fly home with the card with all 10 stamps in my pocket. Maybe next time...
Because we’re following the sun, it’s a really long Tuesday. I arrive at LAX, have some issues with the FlyAway airport bus that will eventually pop up in an earlier blog entry, and get home early Wednesday morning. On Thursday, I’m at the Screenwriter’s Expo back at LAX and I don’t have any clean clothes.... but I have a full bag of CDs to sell.
- Bill
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Bill In London - Raindance Wrap Up (movies)
By the time I get to Raindance, the festival is almost over. I have missed most of the films. The original plan, hatched over a year ago, was that I would come to the festival and probably be on the jury and teach my class a week after the fest. During the fest, I would do three two hour classes.... when I was on the jury in 2004, I did a couple of 2 hour classes during the festival that were sold out - standing room only. These classes were cheap (L10) but still managed to make enough money for the festival to cover the bulk (if not *all*) of my expenses...
And in 2004 I was probably pretty expensive. The festival had a deal with the Lancaster Hotel near Russell Square, and I ended up in a huge suite (more on that in the next post). They had several rooms at the hotel and were rotating guests through them - so a director might be there for 2 days while his film was screening, and then the star of another film might show up to take that room for a couple of days while their film was screening. I even did a room shift in 2004, from a standard room up to the big suite. Some huge name star had been there before me.
The three classes this year would probably completely cover the cost of flying me in and putting me up for the entire festival...
But somewhere along the way, things changed. I would only be teaching two short classes and they could only put me up for the tail end of the fest. I would arrive the final Thursday, and be there for the last weekend of the festival (including closing night). I didn’t know if I would be on the jury or not at this point - most jurors watched the films on DVD anyway... I was the only guy who ever saw every single film on the big screen.
I show up and I'm *not* on the jury - but I get to see movies with no responsibility at all... and no chance that Saffron Burrows will try to throw me out a 2nd storey window again (jury duty in 2001).
Less than four days of the festival... and jet lag. How many movies could I see?
After my nap on Thursday, I managed to make one of the special programs. Raindance was doing a special tribute to Stanley Kubrick - showing two of his films with special guests afterwards plus a documentary on the director. Kubrick is kind of an interesting director - sort of a lightning rod. You can love him *and* hate him. I do. He’s made some great films and some frustrating films. But, like Hitchcock, every one of his films has *something* in it - maybe only one great moment, but that moment may be worth the ticket price. I own some Kubrick films on DVD. My favorite Kubrick films are PATHS OF GLORY and THE KILLING (both written by Jim Thompson). The two films Raindance was screening: 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY and A CLOCKWORK ORANGE. Not too shabby.
I’d missed CLOCKWORK and the doc, but 2001 was screening Thursday night, followed by Q&A with the camera operator, Kelvin Pike (also DR. STRANGELOVE and THE SHINING). I managed to use my all access pass to snag one of the last tickets and squeezed into the sold out cinema...
2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY
I actually saw this film when it was first released... I was a kid. It was playing at the Century 21 Dome in Pleasant Hill, CA (a theater I would later be a projectionist at... and eventually become acting manager of). As a kid I was impressed by the special effects and the cold, frightening idea that a computer could turn against us. I didn’t understand the end at all - and later in life I was told that if you’re stoned or have just dropped acid, the whole thing makes sense.
Seeing it again, almost 40 years later (I *am* old), the ending still doesn’t make any sense. Sure, everyone has a theory about it - death and rebirth and all that - but no one is really 100% sure of their theory. It’s not like some movies that have an ambiguous end that has you debating the film with others afterwards, 2001 leaves you confused and trying to understand the end afterwards. Kubrick thought the confusing end was a great idea, leaving mystery... I think it’s the part of the film that you *must* be stoned to understand, making it more light show than story. Hey, that’s okay.... but I’m the guy who likes story. The most amazing thing about seeing it again on the big screen - those special effects are still the best I’ve ever seen. A million times better than the current crop of digital effects. You see one of the new STAR WARS movies and it’s obvious that those are effects of some sort... but 2001 is *real*. Those space ships are the real thing, not some effect. And that’s something missing in today’s CGI heavy films - the look of reality. The film is slow, “deliberately paced” as they say, but that works. It makes it seem real. By the time we get to the HAL9000 going haywire, the deliberate pacing makes the death of one crew member seem like just another event on HAL’s big checklist. Frightening because it’s so low key.
Mr. Pike spoke afterwards, and told the usual tales of Kubrick’s never-ending takes (usually with little or no difference between the first and last take) and creating everything in England. There were takes of Dr. STRANGELOVE and THE SHINING, too... but I don’t remember any actual stories (I was still zonked from over 24 hours of travel). One thing he talked about is the problem with effects back then - because they were done using combined elements of film, it was impossible to know how anything was going to turn out until *months* after you’ve shot the footage. Other things mentioned were the practical effects - the weightlessness was a challenge in a world before wire removal.
SELL OUT CROWDS
One major problem for me this year was that the festival was crowded again. When I first attended the festival, you could easily find an empty seat for any film before 7pm - most of them were empty! A couple of years ago, they moved to a new cinema and began selling out showings... even daytime shows. I was surprised to be in a crowded cinema at 2 in the afternoon to see a prison film from Poland. This year they are still at the Trocadero Cinemas, and still selling out.
But even when shows have a few available seats, the way cinemas are designed in the UK makes it impossible to get to those seats.
In the USA fire regulations requires that auditoriums are built with exits at the 4 corners and a wide aisle intersecting the room. If there's a fire, there are 4 ways out and you don't have to climb over every seat to get to an exit - you just have to get to the wide aisle. This makes it easy to get to almost any seat in the house - there are usually two entrances and an aisle that cuts across the back of the house and one in the middle.
The Troc cinemas all have *one* entry and exit and no aisle at all. So if that entry is on the right side of the house, all of the seats are packed on the right side and the empty seats will be on the left side... but there's no way to get to them (other than doing the "excuse-me, pardon-me" down a row of seats... and the seats are so close together that it's almost impossible). Once the film has begun, you're screwed. You may be able to see an empty seat on the other side of the cinema, but you can't get there. So a few times when I was a minute late due to some other screening or getting grabbed in the lobby by someone who wanted to talk, I missed a movie. Just no way to get to the seat.
Anyway - a bunch of movies I wanted to see - some I even had tickets for - I didn’t get a chance to see. Here’s what I did see....
BAL-CAN-CAN
The best feature I saw at Raindance this year was a really twisted black comedy from Macedonia, BAL-CAN-CAN, written and directed by Darko Mitrevski; about a draft dodger, his wife and mother-in-law trying to escape the country (and the civil war). When the mother-in-law is shot in the cross-fire and dies, the only way to smuggle her body across the border is to wrap her in a rug. But when the rug is stolen by black marketeers, our hero must become a man of action and find his mother-in-law’s corpse so that she can be properly buried. He calls his father’s best friend’s son, a slick Italian minor-mobster, to help him out. The two are opposites - and working together creates some funny situations.
To give you an idea of the tone of this film, there’s a scene where the husband and wife have the mother-in-law’s body in a tub full of ice, trying to figure out what to do with it. The husband reaches into the tub... and pulls out a beer! The wife grabs a beer from the tub, too, and they come up with the carpet scheme.
Another scene has two factions of the civil war in close quarters fight... but when our hero and his Italian “blood brother” show up, they stop the war for dinner. Both sides sit at the same table and eat... until someone says the wrong thing and they begin shooting each other. Everybody is killed... except our pair. The film is often too dark for its own good - but when people go through hell and make you laugh about it, that’s a skill. It’s kind of Coen Brothers with a lot more blood.
ALICE
Marco Martins’ film about a father’s obsessive search for his missing little girl. In the heartbreaking film from Portugal, the protagonist’s four year old daughter disappears from her day care, and he spends every waking hour searching for her. He places dozens of video cameras on rooftops overlooking the streets of Lisbon and collects the tapes every day. Watches hours of security camera videos... looking for some sign of his child. At one point he thinks he my have spotted her... but the missing girl is never found. By the end of the film he gives up his search... Accepting that he will never find her. Ultimately unsatisfying - the film just ends. I also had some questions about how one loses a four year old - someone should have been watching this kid!
CORPORATE
A Bollywood film... but, as the director and producer pointed out to me - the *new* socially conscious Bollywood. Gritty. Realistic. With only couple of musical numbers... and only two and a half hours long! The story of a woman executive climbing the corporate ladder who thinks nothing of using anyone to get what she wants. Lots of company politics, lots of war between major soft drink corporations. When corporate espionage exposes that a rival soft drink company is about to market a *mint* flavored soft drink, our “hero company” scrambles to get their mint soft drink released first... even if it means using contaminated water and bribing a bunch of government officials. We see all kinds of back stabbing behind the scenes, and at the center of the film there’s this love story between our climbing female executive and the brother-in-law of her boss (who has the most soulful eyes of any actor I’ve ever seen... so it’s no surprise when he gets back-stabbed in the deal and spends the last half of the film crying or trying not to cry). When the secret of the contaminated water gets out, heads roll, sticks fall, and mean American investors scream into their phones.
The film was shown *without* subtitles... and it surprised me how much I could figure out without dialogue... to the point of two labor characters introduced who I knew would be comic relief... and the (mostly Indian) audience laughed at everything they said. Though it’s nice that they made a Bollywood movie that isn’t just another three-plus hour all-singing, all-dancing heroic action movie, the end result was kind of unemotional (despite the crying dude) and bland. Shot “flat” and boring. Characters we didn’t care much about. Concept that’s kind of boring. Afterwards the writer-director talked about his brilliant ability to find great concepts... but his next film is about beggers at a major intersection called TRAFFIC LIGHT. Would you pay $10 to see that?
SCENES OF A SEXUAL NATURE
Closing night film was an all star cast movie about seven couples in the same London park on the same day, all dealing with relationship issues. Ewan McGregor, Gina McKee (yum), Adrian Lester (HUSTLE), Sophie Okonedo, etc. The director won the Raindance pitchfest 2 years ago... when I was one of the judges. The film? Well, it’s all *scenes* - as in, sketches. And the “sexual nature”? Well, the closest we get is a long shot of a young woman’s underpants. The rest is just talk.
The big problem with the film is that after it’s over we have no greater understanding of relationships. The scenes don’t really connect... and none of them are resolved. The best of the lot is an older couple reluctantly sharing a park bench who, in the course of conversation, discover that they were once lovers. That’s such a great moment - so powerful and amazing - that the rest of the film suffers from blandness. And they aren’t even smart enough to end this scene with the big moment... it drags on for the rest of the film, even though there really is nothing that can top that moment. The other scenes (intercut throughout the movie) are either too short or too long - nothing is just right. Ewan McGregor is a gay guy who wants to have kids, but his boyfriend isn’t interested. They keep cutting back to their bickering, but no progress is ever made and we really don’t learn anything about the characters (other than surface stuff) even though this section goes on *forever*. Meanwhile, a husband is caught looking at that young woman’s underpants by his wife... who (after a very funny scene where she forces her husband to apologize for peeping) storms off. The husband chases after her and... we never find out what happens. I wanted *more* of this sequence. Gina McKee (CROUPIER) plays a woman on a blind date who admits to a ticking biological clock and thinks she blows the date... so she storms off. Again, not enough material here to learn anything about the characters (other than the surface) and the conflict is never resolved (or purposely unresolved) - the scene just ends. Another sketch has Adrian Lester and his wife and daughter taking a stroll as they discuss their divorce. This one was pretty good - but needed a stronger end... it just kind of meanders off. A sketch about a businessman who just *talks* to a call girl - they have a relationship that has never entered the bedroom - goes on too long then ends abruptly. It seems like the script was rough first draft that needed some serious rewriting... and didn’t get it.
SHORTS
I only saw one program of shorts this year - I usually see all of them. This selection was called Urban Scapes and was much weaker than past shorts programs. Two years ago, even the stranger selections were mostly solid little films. The worst of the lot was a thing called LIAR that was an actor saying he was a liar over-and-over again in different costumes, until you wanted to find out where this actor lived and go strangle him. 10 minutes, but seemed like hours.
The very best was TALES OF TIME SQUARE, also 10 minutes... but it just breezed by. This was a doc about a guy who lived and worked in the pre-Disney Times Square in NY. His rise and fall. The love of his life... murdered. His descent into drugs and homelessness. A quick lesson on how to find a place to sleep for the night. And the eventual death of our protagonist. Heartbreaking. And the guy is so witty and interesting - the perfect interview subject. You really get to know this guy in 10 minutes - know him better than any of the characters in SCENES OF A SEXUAL NATURE. It reminded me of a film I saw at Raindance 2 years ago (DEAD PEOPLE - about an old man who tells great stories), and I talked to Jamie (Mr. Raindance Shorts) at the closing night screening about it - but we couldn’t remember if it was the same director or not. Seems it wasn’t - Paul Stone directed TIMES and Roger Deutsch directed DEAD PEOPLE. Both have the same amazing ability to take a normal guy and get the most mazing stories out of him.
Another pretty good short was GAS - about a woman being chased by guys with *huge* Busey-like teeth. Had a funny punchline. Also, ATTACK was a good one - a MEMENTO style backwards story that completely changes our perception of the situation with every segment. Story starts out with some nice black guys fighting a skin head. By the time we get all the way back, we find out this guy *isn’t* a skin head... and everything has been the result of a misunderstanding. Great little film that makes you realize how quick we are to judge any situation (because *we* jump to conclusions again and again).
Too long at 10 minutes, but still fun was SHANTELL TOWN, and I met the writer-director Paulette James before the screening. The story of a non-fashionable black girl who gets teased by the other girls and ends up showing her inner-style and finding love... and it’s a *musical*. Would have been better at half the length, but the film is clever and has regular laughs (even if it’s just a funny hair style).
BUSKER was somewhere in the middle - but starred Dominique Pinon from DELICATESSEN as a mime who is losing business due to a guitar player... so he grabs his air guitar and wows the crowd. Only 6 minutes long... but could have been cut in half and been much better. Also somewhere between good and bad was CUBS about gang kids who go fox hunting... and our hero-kid’s first kill. There was symbolism at work, here, but the film went on too long (at 10 minutes).
On the worst list is MEAT, a film that manages to not tell a story. The story is there, the film just can’t figure out how to get the info to the audience. So you spend 13 *looooong* minutes completely confused, and eventually figure out what the movie was trying to say. PROVIDENCE was another movie that had no idea how to tell its story - you end up scratching your head. This one was about a father with a dead daughter, or maybe a daughter with a dead father. Worst of all - because it not only didn’t communicate its story, after it was over I still had no idea what the danged story even *was* was this movie about a train conductor vs. soccer hooligans. Don’t know the title, it was a replacement film for something else that didn’t show. Here’s the thing - you have a movie with all kinds of *trains* and a *train station* and lots of other expenseive stuff... and the story is so incompetent I still don’t know what it was about.
HISTORY BOYS
After the fest I saw a few movies, including some American films I’m not going to mention, plus this film which had great reviews and was written by Alan Bennet. If you don’t know who that is, he’s probably to blame for Monty Python. Bennet was a member of the comedy group known as Beyond The Fringe which kind of set the stage for the Pythons a few years later. When I was a drama-geek in high school, I did a few of Bennet’s sketches - one became my audition piece. So I had some pretty high expectations...
Which were not met. The film is the story of a group of high school kids who have good enough grades to *maybe* get into Oxford/Cambridge on history scholarships. One major problem is - they don’t care about Oxford as much as their Principal does. He thinks it would be great for the school if these kids all got in. Then we get a scattershot plot - because the whole Oxford thing gets sidetracked by a new teacher story - and the crush one of the boys has on the teacher. Oh, and then *that* story gets sidetracked by the old teacher story - Richard Griffiths (the Muggle Uncle in the Harry Potter films) plays a teacher with unorthodox methods who is being squeezed out of the system... who then touches one of the boys inappropriately... leading to him getting fired... leading to him eventually getting killed in a motorcycle wreck... leading to a big funeral where everyone wishes they would have appreciated his unique teaching style more. Actually, that may be the real pot of the story - hard to tell *what* is. There’s also this major major subplot comparing the teaching theories of the new teacher and the old teacher - and *that* may be the real plot, too. I’m leaving out a bunch of major plot threads - and that’s the problem with this film: no focus. The kids don’t care if they go to Oxford, so we really don’t care if they pass the interviews or not.. And we don’t even get to see those interviews! We getkind of a montage - but considering this thing starts out being about how hard it is to get through that interview, they spend almost no time on it. The best part of the film - Bennet is still funny as hell. The story may be all over the place, but the dialogue was funny. These kids had an arsenal of zingers.
MAN PUSH CART
Another post-fest film I saw was MAN PUSH CART written and directed by Ramin Bahrani. It was distributed by ex-Raindance guy Oliver, whose company DogWoof specializes in indie films. The film is about a Pakistani immigrant in New York City who is very close to paying off his breakfast service cart. It's a large cart, and he serves coffee and food items from *inside* the cart. This is not a motorized “roach coach”, it has a trailer hitch and is designed to be pulled behind a truck.
Except our protagonist doesn't own a truck.
Every morning he gets up at 3am, goes to the garage and pulls his cart by hand across Manhattan to his corner. The street is uneven, bad pavement. There are taxis and buses and cars honking at him the entire way. The cart is very heavy. At one point, he trips, the cart goes out of control, and he has to chase it down and catch it before it crashes. This is a huge cart - not designed for a man to pull by hand.
Once he gets the cart to his corner, he sets up shop and his work day begins. He works all day... then drags the cart back to the garage at night, fighting auto traffic and pot holes the entire way. After he puts his cart to bed in the garage, he's still carrying around the propane tank that keeps the stove going. Propane is expensive and he can't just leave the tank in the garage. So he carries it home with him on the bus every night.
The film is a real heart-breaker, and manages to keep giving us more and more information about our hero - making his story even more tragic. His wife has died. And once he pays off his cart, he can start putting away money so that he can move into a larger apartment and send for his son. Then there’s this great twist where a wealthy businessman who stops by his cart recognizes him from the old country... where he was a famous rock star who moved to America to find fame and fortune. There’s a newspaper stand girl from Spain who provides the romantic interest... but this film is ultimately very sad. You see the world through different eyes after this film.
Those were the films I saw this year (with the exception of a couple of American films) - next up - what happened at the festival.
Here’s my Raindance Diary from 2004:
Raindance 2004
And in 2004 I was probably pretty expensive. The festival had a deal with the Lancaster Hotel near Russell Square, and I ended up in a huge suite (more on that in the next post). They had several rooms at the hotel and were rotating guests through them - so a director might be there for 2 days while his film was screening, and then the star of another film might show up to take that room for a couple of days while their film was screening. I even did a room shift in 2004, from a standard room up to the big suite. Some huge name star had been there before me.
The three classes this year would probably completely cover the cost of flying me in and putting me up for the entire festival...
But somewhere along the way, things changed. I would only be teaching two short classes and they could only put me up for the tail end of the fest. I would arrive the final Thursday, and be there for the last weekend of the festival (including closing night). I didn’t know if I would be on the jury or not at this point - most jurors watched the films on DVD anyway... I was the only guy who ever saw every single film on the big screen.
I show up and I'm *not* on the jury - but I get to see movies with no responsibility at all... and no chance that Saffron Burrows will try to throw me out a 2nd storey window again (jury duty in 2001).
Less than four days of the festival... and jet lag. How many movies could I see?
After my nap on Thursday, I managed to make one of the special programs. Raindance was doing a special tribute to Stanley Kubrick - showing two of his films with special guests afterwards plus a documentary on the director. Kubrick is kind of an interesting director - sort of a lightning rod. You can love him *and* hate him. I do. He’s made some great films and some frustrating films. But, like Hitchcock, every one of his films has *something* in it - maybe only one great moment, but that moment may be worth the ticket price. I own some Kubrick films on DVD. My favorite Kubrick films are PATHS OF GLORY and THE KILLING (both written by Jim Thompson). The two films Raindance was screening: 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY and A CLOCKWORK ORANGE. Not too shabby.
I’d missed CLOCKWORK and the doc, but 2001 was screening Thursday night, followed by Q&A with the camera operator, Kelvin Pike (also DR. STRANGELOVE and THE SHINING). I managed to use my all access pass to snag one of the last tickets and squeezed into the sold out cinema...
2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY
I actually saw this film when it was first released... I was a kid. It was playing at the Century 21 Dome in Pleasant Hill, CA (a theater I would later be a projectionist at... and eventually become acting manager of). As a kid I was impressed by the special effects and the cold, frightening idea that a computer could turn against us. I didn’t understand the end at all - and later in life I was told that if you’re stoned or have just dropped acid, the whole thing makes sense.
Seeing it again, almost 40 years later (I *am* old), the ending still doesn’t make any sense. Sure, everyone has a theory about it - death and rebirth and all that - but no one is really 100% sure of their theory. It’s not like some movies that have an ambiguous end that has you debating the film with others afterwards, 2001 leaves you confused and trying to understand the end afterwards. Kubrick thought the confusing end was a great idea, leaving mystery... I think it’s the part of the film that you *must* be stoned to understand, making it more light show than story. Hey, that’s okay.... but I’m the guy who likes story. The most amazing thing about seeing it again on the big screen - those special effects are still the best I’ve ever seen. A million times better than the current crop of digital effects. You see one of the new STAR WARS movies and it’s obvious that those are effects of some sort... but 2001 is *real*. Those space ships are the real thing, not some effect. And that’s something missing in today’s CGI heavy films - the look of reality. The film is slow, “deliberately paced” as they say, but that works. It makes it seem real. By the time we get to the HAL9000 going haywire, the deliberate pacing makes the death of one crew member seem like just another event on HAL’s big checklist. Frightening because it’s so low key.
Mr. Pike spoke afterwards, and told the usual tales of Kubrick’s never-ending takes (usually with little or no difference between the first and last take) and creating everything in England. There were takes of Dr. STRANGELOVE and THE SHINING, too... but I don’t remember any actual stories (I was still zonked from over 24 hours of travel). One thing he talked about is the problem with effects back then - because they were done using combined elements of film, it was impossible to know how anything was going to turn out until *months* after you’ve shot the footage. Other things mentioned were the practical effects - the weightlessness was a challenge in a world before wire removal.
SELL OUT CROWDS
One major problem for me this year was that the festival was crowded again. When I first attended the festival, you could easily find an empty seat for any film before 7pm - most of them were empty! A couple of years ago, they moved to a new cinema and began selling out showings... even daytime shows. I was surprised to be in a crowded cinema at 2 in the afternoon to see a prison film from Poland. This year they are still at the Trocadero Cinemas, and still selling out.
But even when shows have a few available seats, the way cinemas are designed in the UK makes it impossible to get to those seats.
In the USA fire regulations requires that auditoriums are built with exits at the 4 corners and a wide aisle intersecting the room. If there's a fire, there are 4 ways out and you don't have to climb over every seat to get to an exit - you just have to get to the wide aisle. This makes it easy to get to almost any seat in the house - there are usually two entrances and an aisle that cuts across the back of the house and one in the middle.
The Troc cinemas all have *one* entry and exit and no aisle at all. So if that entry is on the right side of the house, all of the seats are packed on the right side and the empty seats will be on the left side... but there's no way to get to them (other than doing the "excuse-me, pardon-me" down a row of seats... and the seats are so close together that it's almost impossible). Once the film has begun, you're screwed. You may be able to see an empty seat on the other side of the cinema, but you can't get there. So a few times when I was a minute late due to some other screening or getting grabbed in the lobby by someone who wanted to talk, I missed a movie. Just no way to get to the seat.
Anyway - a bunch of movies I wanted to see - some I even had tickets for - I didn’t get a chance to see. Here’s what I did see....
BAL-CAN-CAN
The best feature I saw at Raindance this year was a really twisted black comedy from Macedonia, BAL-CAN-CAN, written and directed by Darko Mitrevski; about a draft dodger, his wife and mother-in-law trying to escape the country (and the civil war). When the mother-in-law is shot in the cross-fire and dies, the only way to smuggle her body across the border is to wrap her in a rug. But when the rug is stolen by black marketeers, our hero must become a man of action and find his mother-in-law’s corpse so that she can be properly buried. He calls his father’s best friend’s son, a slick Italian minor-mobster, to help him out. The two are opposites - and working together creates some funny situations.
To give you an idea of the tone of this film, there’s a scene where the husband and wife have the mother-in-law’s body in a tub full of ice, trying to figure out what to do with it. The husband reaches into the tub... and pulls out a beer! The wife grabs a beer from the tub, too, and they come up with the carpet scheme.
Another scene has two factions of the civil war in close quarters fight... but when our hero and his Italian “blood brother” show up, they stop the war for dinner. Both sides sit at the same table and eat... until someone says the wrong thing and they begin shooting each other. Everybody is killed... except our pair. The film is often too dark for its own good - but when people go through hell and make you laugh about it, that’s a skill. It’s kind of Coen Brothers with a lot more blood.
ALICE
Marco Martins’ film about a father’s obsessive search for his missing little girl. In the heartbreaking film from Portugal, the protagonist’s four year old daughter disappears from her day care, and he spends every waking hour searching for her. He places dozens of video cameras on rooftops overlooking the streets of Lisbon and collects the tapes every day. Watches hours of security camera videos... looking for some sign of his child. At one point he thinks he my have spotted her... but the missing girl is never found. By the end of the film he gives up his search... Accepting that he will never find her. Ultimately unsatisfying - the film just ends. I also had some questions about how one loses a four year old - someone should have been watching this kid!
CORPORATE
A Bollywood film... but, as the director and producer pointed out to me - the *new* socially conscious Bollywood. Gritty. Realistic. With only couple of musical numbers... and only two and a half hours long! The story of a woman executive climbing the corporate ladder who thinks nothing of using anyone to get what she wants. Lots of company politics, lots of war between major soft drink corporations. When corporate espionage exposes that a rival soft drink company is about to market a *mint* flavored soft drink, our “hero company” scrambles to get their mint soft drink released first... even if it means using contaminated water and bribing a bunch of government officials. We see all kinds of back stabbing behind the scenes, and at the center of the film there’s this love story between our climbing female executive and the brother-in-law of her boss (who has the most soulful eyes of any actor I’ve ever seen... so it’s no surprise when he gets back-stabbed in the deal and spends the last half of the film crying or trying not to cry). When the secret of the contaminated water gets out, heads roll, sticks fall, and mean American investors scream into their phones.
The film was shown *without* subtitles... and it surprised me how much I could figure out without dialogue... to the point of two labor characters introduced who I knew would be comic relief... and the (mostly Indian) audience laughed at everything they said. Though it’s nice that they made a Bollywood movie that isn’t just another three-plus hour all-singing, all-dancing heroic action movie, the end result was kind of unemotional (despite the crying dude) and bland. Shot “flat” and boring. Characters we didn’t care much about. Concept that’s kind of boring. Afterwards the writer-director talked about his brilliant ability to find great concepts... but his next film is about beggers at a major intersection called TRAFFIC LIGHT. Would you pay $10 to see that?
SCENES OF A SEXUAL NATURE
Closing night film was an all star cast movie about seven couples in the same London park on the same day, all dealing with relationship issues. Ewan McGregor, Gina McKee (yum), Adrian Lester (HUSTLE), Sophie Okonedo, etc. The director won the Raindance pitchfest 2 years ago... when I was one of the judges. The film? Well, it’s all *scenes* - as in, sketches. And the “sexual nature”? Well, the closest we get is a long shot of a young woman’s underpants. The rest is just talk.
The big problem with the film is that after it’s over we have no greater understanding of relationships. The scenes don’t really connect... and none of them are resolved. The best of the lot is an older couple reluctantly sharing a park bench who, in the course of conversation, discover that they were once lovers. That’s such a great moment - so powerful and amazing - that the rest of the film suffers from blandness. And they aren’t even smart enough to end this scene with the big moment... it drags on for the rest of the film, even though there really is nothing that can top that moment. The other scenes (intercut throughout the movie) are either too short or too long - nothing is just right. Ewan McGregor is a gay guy who wants to have kids, but his boyfriend isn’t interested. They keep cutting back to their bickering, but no progress is ever made and we really don’t learn anything about the characters (other than surface stuff) even though this section goes on *forever*. Meanwhile, a husband is caught looking at that young woman’s underpants by his wife... who (after a very funny scene where she forces her husband to apologize for peeping) storms off. The husband chases after her and... we never find out what happens. I wanted *more* of this sequence. Gina McKee (CROUPIER) plays a woman on a blind date who admits to a ticking biological clock and thinks she blows the date... so she storms off. Again, not enough material here to learn anything about the characters (other than the surface) and the conflict is never resolved (or purposely unresolved) - the scene just ends. Another sketch has Adrian Lester and his wife and daughter taking a stroll as they discuss their divorce. This one was pretty good - but needed a stronger end... it just kind of meanders off. A sketch about a businessman who just *talks* to a call girl - they have a relationship that has never entered the bedroom - goes on too long then ends abruptly. It seems like the script was rough first draft that needed some serious rewriting... and didn’t get it.
SHORTS
I only saw one program of shorts this year - I usually see all of them. This selection was called Urban Scapes and was much weaker than past shorts programs. Two years ago, even the stranger selections were mostly solid little films. The worst of the lot was a thing called LIAR that was an actor saying he was a liar over-and-over again in different costumes, until you wanted to find out where this actor lived and go strangle him. 10 minutes, but seemed like hours.
The very best was TALES OF TIME SQUARE, also 10 minutes... but it just breezed by. This was a doc about a guy who lived and worked in the pre-Disney Times Square in NY. His rise and fall. The love of his life... murdered. His descent into drugs and homelessness. A quick lesson on how to find a place to sleep for the night. And the eventual death of our protagonist. Heartbreaking. And the guy is so witty and interesting - the perfect interview subject. You really get to know this guy in 10 minutes - know him better than any of the characters in SCENES OF A SEXUAL NATURE. It reminded me of a film I saw at Raindance 2 years ago (DEAD PEOPLE - about an old man who tells great stories), and I talked to Jamie (Mr. Raindance Shorts) at the closing night screening about it - but we couldn’t remember if it was the same director or not. Seems it wasn’t - Paul Stone directed TIMES and Roger Deutsch directed DEAD PEOPLE. Both have the same amazing ability to take a normal guy and get the most mazing stories out of him.
Another pretty good short was GAS - about a woman being chased by guys with *huge* Busey-like teeth. Had a funny punchline. Also, ATTACK was a good one - a MEMENTO style backwards story that completely changes our perception of the situation with every segment. Story starts out with some nice black guys fighting a skin head. By the time we get all the way back, we find out this guy *isn’t* a skin head... and everything has been the result of a misunderstanding. Great little film that makes you realize how quick we are to judge any situation (because *we* jump to conclusions again and again).
Too long at 10 minutes, but still fun was SHANTELL TOWN, and I met the writer-director Paulette James before the screening. The story of a non-fashionable black girl who gets teased by the other girls and ends up showing her inner-style and finding love... and it’s a *musical*. Would have been better at half the length, but the film is clever and has regular laughs (even if it’s just a funny hair style).
BUSKER was somewhere in the middle - but starred Dominique Pinon from DELICATESSEN as a mime who is losing business due to a guitar player... so he grabs his air guitar and wows the crowd. Only 6 minutes long... but could have been cut in half and been much better. Also somewhere between good and bad was CUBS about gang kids who go fox hunting... and our hero-kid’s first kill. There was symbolism at work, here, but the film went on too long (at 10 minutes).
On the worst list is MEAT, a film that manages to not tell a story. The story is there, the film just can’t figure out how to get the info to the audience. So you spend 13 *looooong* minutes completely confused, and eventually figure out what the movie was trying to say. PROVIDENCE was another movie that had no idea how to tell its story - you end up scratching your head. This one was about a father with a dead daughter, or maybe a daughter with a dead father. Worst of all - because it not only didn’t communicate its story, after it was over I still had no idea what the danged story even *was* was this movie about a train conductor vs. soccer hooligans. Don’t know the title, it was a replacement film for something else that didn’t show. Here’s the thing - you have a movie with all kinds of *trains* and a *train station* and lots of other expenseive stuff... and the story is so incompetent I still don’t know what it was about.
HISTORY BOYS
After the fest I saw a few movies, including some American films I’m not going to mention, plus this film which had great reviews and was written by Alan Bennet. If you don’t know who that is, he’s probably to blame for Monty Python. Bennet was a member of the comedy group known as Beyond The Fringe which kind of set the stage for the Pythons a few years later. When I was a drama-geek in high school, I did a few of Bennet’s sketches - one became my audition piece. So I had some pretty high expectations...
Which were not met. The film is the story of a group of high school kids who have good enough grades to *maybe* get into Oxford/Cambridge on history scholarships. One major problem is - they don’t care about Oxford as much as their Principal does. He thinks it would be great for the school if these kids all got in. Then we get a scattershot plot - because the whole Oxford thing gets sidetracked by a new teacher story - and the crush one of the boys has on the teacher. Oh, and then *that* story gets sidetracked by the old teacher story - Richard Griffiths (the Muggle Uncle in the Harry Potter films) plays a teacher with unorthodox methods who is being squeezed out of the system... who then touches one of the boys inappropriately... leading to him getting fired... leading to him eventually getting killed in a motorcycle wreck... leading to a big funeral where everyone wishes they would have appreciated his unique teaching style more. Actually, that may be the real pot of the story - hard to tell *what* is. There’s also this major major subplot comparing the teaching theories of the new teacher and the old teacher - and *that* may be the real plot, too. I’m leaving out a bunch of major plot threads - and that’s the problem with this film: no focus. The kids don’t care if they go to Oxford, so we really don’t care if they pass the interviews or not.. And we don’t even get to see those interviews! We getkind of a montage - but considering this thing starts out being about how hard it is to get through that interview, they spend almost no time on it. The best part of the film - Bennet is still funny as hell. The story may be all over the place, but the dialogue was funny. These kids had an arsenal of zingers.
MAN PUSH CART
Another post-fest film I saw was MAN PUSH CART written and directed by Ramin Bahrani. It was distributed by ex-Raindance guy Oliver, whose company DogWoof specializes in indie films. The film is about a Pakistani immigrant in New York City who is very close to paying off his breakfast service cart. It's a large cart, and he serves coffee and food items from *inside* the cart. This is not a motorized “roach coach”, it has a trailer hitch and is designed to be pulled behind a truck.
Except our protagonist doesn't own a truck.
Every morning he gets up at 3am, goes to the garage and pulls his cart by hand across Manhattan to his corner. The street is uneven, bad pavement. There are taxis and buses and cars honking at him the entire way. The cart is very heavy. At one point, he trips, the cart goes out of control, and he has to chase it down and catch it before it crashes. This is a huge cart - not designed for a man to pull by hand.
Once he gets the cart to his corner, he sets up shop and his work day begins. He works all day... then drags the cart back to the garage at night, fighting auto traffic and pot holes the entire way. After he puts his cart to bed in the garage, he's still carrying around the propane tank that keeps the stove going. Propane is expensive and he can't just leave the tank in the garage. So he carries it home with him on the bus every night.
The film is a real heart-breaker, and manages to keep giving us more and more information about our hero - making his story even more tragic. His wife has died. And once he pays off his cart, he can start putting away money so that he can move into a larger apartment and send for his son. Then there’s this great twist where a wealthy businessman who stops by his cart recognizes him from the old country... where he was a famous rock star who moved to America to find fame and fortune. There’s a newspaper stand girl from Spain who provides the romantic interest... but this film is ultimately very sad. You see the world through different eyes after this film.
Those were the films I saw this year (with the exception of a couple of American films) - next up - what happened at the festival.
Here’s my Raindance Diary from 2004:
Raindance 2004
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