Friday, July 23, 2010

Worst Remakes?

Last week's big movie was an original (INCEPTION) and this week's big movie is also an original (SALT), but this summer we've had a bunch of remakes... including last week's big flop (SORCERER'S APPRENTICE - based on a Mickey Mouse cartoon from FANTASIA!). Though a remake is still a job for a screenwriter, I would rather tell my own stories. Originals.

So, how about using the Comments Section for this blog entry...

What do you think are the worst remakes... and why?

- Bill

17 comments:

  1. Do Hollywood feature film remakes of British TV serials count? Because if so, EDGE OF DARKNESS. Oh, and PENNIES FROM HEAVEN. And probably a few more if I stop to think about it.

    It's not just that they aren't great films, though they aren't. It's also the vast gulf between these poor offerings and the source material, some of the finest TV dramas ever written.

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  2. The hot, summer sun beat blindly --

    Horror Remakes.

    And I'm not talking about our The Thing's or The Fly's (natch), but that little house that Michael Bay bought for a dime and sold for a million dollars - Platinum Dunes.

    Here's a quote from Mr. Einstein:

    "Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler."

    Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - all films that reek of being designed by committee.

    Where's the love?

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  3. Worst - Halloween and the Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

    Why? - Because they took everything that made the originals so great and did the exact opposite, from the directing to the cinematography to the editing to the music, etc. Everything that was awesome in the originals now SUCKS in the remakes.

    If a remake does not improve on the concept, then it should not be made. Period.

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  4. Anonymous5:03 PM

    Casino Royal has been made three times. The first was for tv starring Barry Nelson. Nobody has seen it so I can't judge but here is the IMBD link.
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0310853/

    The second, the remake, with Peter Sellers and Woody Allen as the villian is the most god awful headache of a movie I've ever seen.

    Oddly enough the third one, the recent one was pretty good. Guess in some cases third time is the charm.

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  5. The Bogart version of THE MALTESE FALCON was #3, first version starred latin lover Ricardo Cortez as Sam Spade, second starred Bette Davis in a role reversal version.

    Yes, sometimes the remakes are better than the originals.

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  6. The reason most horror remakes tend to suck is because the IMPORTANT underlying themes inherent in the originals are stripped away, leaving the films as little more than hollow shells that are technically fine, but devoid of any real ideas.

    Hollywood in particular is catering for an audience and culture that, increasingly, on the whole, has no interest or appreciation of intelligence or academic ability; one of the reasons that films, of various genres, from the seventies, are so well regarded and have gained longevity is because intelligent ideas were appreciated and encouraged in cinema alongside the business aspect.

    Although there ARE some filmmakers trying to make intelligent, thoughful movies such as David Fincher, or more recently Chris Nolan, the majority fall into the realm of TRANSFORMERS territory. The biggest fear is that it is only going to get worse...

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  7. "Psycho" remake with Vince Vaughn.
    Shot for shot remake of a classic that is almost perfect...

    What the hell were they thinking???

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  8. "The Wicker Man" 2006 was biggest convulsion-inducing waste of celluloid I'd ever seen. Seriously. It had Nicholas Coppola in it. Need I say more?

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  9. Death at a Funeral

    American version a mere 3 years after the British original.
    (And Bollywood remade it as 'Daddy Cool', so 3 versions within 3 years.)
    I'm anxiously awaiting the other 191 nation-specific versions.

    Same screenwriter for British and American versions, and Peter Dinklage was in both.
    Of course, there was a difference - people drove on different sides of the road.

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  10. Worst potential remake, but happily didn't come to pass, Oldboy.

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  12. Anonymous5:04 AM

    The Pink Panther (don't mess with Sellers and that special magic he had)

    Posiedon - there's a reason old movies are called classics, that's french for "Don't Fuck With It"

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  13. The first half of MI:2 is a rip-off of Notorious, and a poor one at that. Looks like Townsend knows how to lift like the best of them.

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  14. The In Laws
    Shaft
    The Mod Squad
    Get Smart
    Pink Panthers
    Robocop 3
    Terminator 3

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  15. No one's mentioned the remake of Planet of the Apes yet?

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  16. Planet of the Apes.

    Also, the Sydney Pollack/Harrison Ford Sabrina and the the Frank Oz/Nicole Kidman Stepford Wives...

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  17. GONE IN 60 SECONDS

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