Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Cutting Hairs

I finally got a haircut. I’ve needed one for months. I went to meetings looking shaggy. The problem was - the place I get my hair cut closed down.

I know that doesn’t sound like much of an excuse, but I had been getting my hair cut at the same place since I moved to Los Angeles almost 20 years ago. They gave good hair cuts, and they were cheap... and they were cute. Back when I was living in Van Nuys I was trying to stretch my COURTING DEATH sale income for as long as possible, and needed a cheap haircut. There was a place across the street from the Sears in North Hollywood (where I bought shirts on sale) that advertized cheap haircuts. I can’t remember how much it was back then, but when they closed a couple of months ago they were charging $8. That’s cheap! Anyway, I go in and the place is filled with hot hispanic women. Some of them want to be actresses, some want to be on the news, some of them want to be models, some want to be singers. None want to cut hair, but that’s their day job. The gal who runs the place wants to be a Tejano singer - actually, she *is* one. She sings in some club out in Reseda on Friday and Saturday nights and sometimes does parties on other nights. I have no idea if she’s any good at singing, but she gave a great haircut.

I used to work with a guy named Bob at Safeway who had a haircut sexual fettish. He was married, but he had this girl who used to cut his hair - both of them in their underpants to keep the hair from getting on their clothes. When Bob told me about this, I thought he was weird...

But when that hot gal cut my hair, I could kind of understand it. Haircuts are kind of an intimate thing. The hair cutter stands really close to you, and their body brushes up against yours often. I never asked the Tejano singer if she’d strip down to her underpants, but maybe I should have?

When I moved to Studio City I figured I’d find a new place to get my hair cut. I could afford a more expensive haircut - cost wasn’t an issue. Maybe I’d go to a stylist? There were several places in my area - and I started at the most expensive. I think it was $50, but it might have been as much as $65. Anyway, the guy was a “hair artist” and I suspect he was not heterosexual - but he may have just lived in West Hollywood so long he developed the accent. Anyway, I told him how I wanted my hair cut... and he began crafting my hair... and when he was done my hair was weird looking. As a “hair artist” I guess he worked in abstracts. One side was longer than the other, amd when I mentioned this, he lisped, “Of course it is, honey.” He didn’t cut my hair the way *I* wanted, he cut my hair the way *he* wanted. And charged me $50 or $65 for it. And expected a tip... which I gave him. I stayed at home - avoided being seen - until my hair grew out. When I did go out, I had to keep my head tilted to the left so that mt haircut looked even. I tried a couple more places with similar results before going back to the Tejano singer and her sexy latina actress and dancer and model and musician wannabes. They gave me the haircut I wanted... for considerable less than $65.

You would think that a $65 haircut would have to be better than an $8 haircut (probably $6 back then). You would think that no one would spend more money for inferior work. You would think that you always get what you pay for. But that’s just not true. There’s this perceived value thing where people *think* that if something costs more it just has to be better - when often it isn’t. Quality has nothing to do with cost. Heck, Kevin Smith’s CLERKS cost $25k and his MALLRATS cost $6 million and JERSEY GIRL (starring Benifer) cost over $35 million - and which is the better movie? Brain Singer’s USUAL SUSPECTS cost $6 million and his SUPERMAN RETURNS cost over $270 million - and which is the better movie? I think it’s easier to be lazy and just get the most expensive haircut, than to figure out which is the *best* haircut. These gals were so popular you couldn’t get a haircut on weekends - the wait was too long. I tried one Saturday and just gave up. Even on weekdays they were crowded. The $65 hair artist was never crowded. The problem with being lazy and just getting the most expensive haircut thinking that it must be the best? You gotta go out in public with that hair!

So for close to 20 years those girls cut my hair. Some got married and had babies, but I don’t think any broke into the biz enough to give up cutting hair. When CDs became cheap to record, they sold them out of the shop. I bought a couple of Tejano CDs and tried to listen to them. I have no idea where they are now. Then, a couple of months ago, the place was closed when I went by to get a hair cut. And the next few times I went by they were closed, too. Finally, it seemed they were closed for good. No sign on the door about a new location - nothing. Maybe they lost their lease and scattered, maybe after 20 years they retired, maybe they were all married off and settled down to become full time moms, but I’d like to think she got signed to a million dollar recording contract and is somewhere on the top of the Latin charts on Billboard.

So if you see me walking down the street with my head cocked *way* to the left...

- Bill

Yesterday’s Dinner: Pollo Loco chicken breast & corn & clack beans.
Pages: 5 script pages.
Bicycle: *Did* ride to my meeting yesterday (which seemed to go well) and am in the bicyle today - though no epic Tuesday ride.


martinb said...

They always ask, "How do you want it?"

I never know how to answer. How do you describe a haircut? I want something easy to manage that makes me look good, but don't ask me what it's called.

My ideal haircutter is someone who cuts my hair perfectly without me saying a word. I used to have someone like that. A friend of my sister's who cut my hair exactly right. Maybe my sister told her what to do; I don't know. All I know is, I walked into the salon, sat down, she cut my hair, I paid, and that was it. No words spoken except for Hello and Goodbye. Then she was promoted to salon manager and didn't cut hair any more. Oh wel.

I never had a hot Latina cut my hair, but once in Windhoek a young German girl did the honours. She was rather plump and had massive breasts and short arms. Oh man! Being pillowed between those beauties was a real pleasure. Unfortunately she returned to Germany before my next haircut.

Morgan McKinnon said...

Another very funny...
Wow. There *must* be some really slamming comedies in your future.

I liked the tip today as well. It's interesting, I realize that it is a repeat...but it's right on time with my thinking. I'm excited to see where my digging leads...and I'm digging fast & furiously.


ObiDonWan said...

Detective always has his hair cut by a hot beauty, she works alone in her own shop and wants to be... an actress/spy. Be an international actress who can get in to any crowd and spy on them. She and detective have a "thing" going but she doesn't want to ruin her chances for the career she wants.
Then she's murdered--her throat is cut with the straight razor she used to model Detective's hair.

take it from there...

Morgan McKinnon said...

***Then she's murdered--her throat is cut with the straight razor she used to model Detective's hair.***

The investigation begins and Detective is interrogated…in front of his wife. He’s been lying to his wife about where he’s been getting his hair cut. The wife knew about his hardon for the haircutter wannabe/actress. But he told her that he’d been going to another place. A place where the women who worked there shaved as often as men do.

Now…in order to save his skin, he has to ‘fess up:

“He doesn’t keep his hair short because that’s the way she (the wife) likes it, he keeps it short because…”

But he’s innocent. He didn’t kill her! He loved her!

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